Extreme stress with weight gain 3 years post op

[lulu06 19]

So this past year has been HELL for me. Not only am I now almost done with a divorce from my middle school sweetheart xs 3 kids, because he was cheating with the 17 year old babysitter. Yep walked in and caught them in our bed. He said he loved me still not in love with me I wasn't young and pretty anymore. I also lost 2 of my beloved pups. Had to start travel nursing to make ends meet, leaving my youngest daughter with him mostly. Being a nurse during this time is trying enough. Then got caught up in the middle of a shoot out at a gas station. All this stress and I started eating bad again. Gained 40 lbs of the 110lbs lost. I absolutely hate me now. I don't even know where to start to get back on track. How do you eat right living out of a hotel room. How do I handle all these sweet cravings I have from the stress. Please help me with any advice. I have been so depressed that I thought of ending it at times. Feeling like a failure. Ps. I start counseling soon.

[GradyCat 3,697]

Okay, I can totally hear you on this. Same thing here. I'm 3 years post-op. COVID and life wreaked havoc in my life, lost my 16 year old fur baby . . . 2020 and 2021 SUCKED!

But I finally saw a sign that said, "Remember why you started this." and it hit me - - - I had to get my health back.

I was embarrassed by my weight gain because after WLS and reading some of the forum posts where people gained weight back, I thought "Oh! I'll never be one of THOSE people!" HA! I am!

But I finally found light at the end of the tunnel on November 22nd. Something finally just clicked in my head. I started going to the gym and I've been 35 out of the last 40 days. I joined Weight Watchers two weeks ago and as of this morning I've lost 3 pounds.

I have depression, which it sounds like you probably have after all that you've been through, and I see a counselor every 3 weeks. We do online video conferences. It's very helpful to talk about my stressors and fears.

You are NOT a failure! Forgive yourself, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and join me on a journey to refocus on our weight in 2022.

[Guest]

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Life sucks.

I can tell you one thing for sure: the solution you're looking for will not be found in a diet book. It will not be found in a thought process that involves yelling at yourself to try harder!

You know what to eat. You know how to count calories and Protein. You know how to chew. You've done it all before.

What you don't know, however, is how to emerge from a crisis. I strongly, strongly recommend immediately looking at this statement ....

Quote

I absolutely hate me now. I don't even know where to start to get back on track. How do you eat right living out of a hotel room. How do I handle all these sweet cravings I have from the stress.

... and bringing that exact statement to someone who can help you talk it through. Group sessions work, too.

If you want something you can do now, here's how you deal with emotional eating in a professional/disordered eating setting:

FIRST: Get the physical hunger and eating patterns sorted out.

Start eating 6 times a day. When you wake up, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Same time every day is recommended. Grab a notebook. On the left side, you write what time you ate, and what you ate. On the right side, you write - once a day, several times if need be - how you felt today. It doesn't have to be connected to the eating.

The goal for you is not to lose weight right now, it's to understand your emotional eating which you already identified is what led you off track. There's no skipping this step. All you have to do here is the above. Don't gain, don't lose, just get an overview and start writing.

SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS: Habits

Once you've gotten this under control and you're starting to see patterns, you can look at your habits. "Ah, so when the kids act up, I actually tend to grab sweet Snacks. Hmm. Can I pause for a second and feel that emotion, see if I'm still hungry?"

FINALLY: Emotions and a clear mind

And now you're ready to actually deal with all the things that caused you to be in this crisis. You can't work on all things at once, and if the regain is the most upsetting, then follow these steps. Hopefully, you don't have to do step 1 and 2 alone, but if you have and you feel you're in a better place, now's the time for therapy and this is also where you can start exploring losing weight.

I hope this helps. I'm happy to elaborate.

[lizonaplane 1,613]

I'm so sorry for all you've been through! That all sounds so awful...

You're not a failure but it sounds like you might be in crisis mode. Are you safe?

I see that you're seeking counseling, but I have some "practical" advice as I also spend a lot of time in hotels:

1) go to a grocery store to buy things like deli meat, cheese, fruit/veg already cut up

2) to avoid sweet cravings, there are two schools of thought: you can give it up completely which makes cravings less, or you can try to limit what you eat per day, like make a game out of it, or don't keep it in your room. Some people have to give up artificial sweeteners too, but I haven't found this to be the case for me

3) Try to track your eating on something like MyFitnessPal, so you can see what you're eating and when

Good luck and keep us posted!

[Mommake 1]

Okay, I can totally hear you on this. Same thing here. I'm 3 years post-op. COVID and life wreaked havoc in my life, lost my 16 year old fur baby . . . 2020 and 2021 SUCKED!
But I finally saw a sign that said, "Remember why you started this." and it hit me - - - I had to get my health back.
I was embarrassed by my weight gain because after WLS and reading some of the forum posts where people gained weight back, I thought "Oh! I'll never be one of THOSE people!" HA! I am!
But I finally found light at the end of the tunnel on November 22nd. Something finally just clicked in my head. I started going to the gym and I've been 35 out of the last 40 days. I joined Weight Watchers two weeks ago and as of this morning I've lost 3 pounds.
I have depression, which it sounds like you probably have after all that you've been through, and I see a counselor every 3 weeks. We do online video conferences. It's very helpful to talk about my stressors and fears.
You are NOT a failure! Forgive yourself, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and join me on a journey to refocus on our weight in 2022.

I am three years out I also gain weight. After my poppa passed away it was 2 years on new years eve .and I was so depressed about it and started gaining weight. Trying to get my on track and now my thyroid is off the charts and I am so mad at myself about it.

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