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I had my bypass about 7 weeks ago. I lost about 50 pounds leading up to surgery and 20 pounds after. I also choose not to tell people I had surgery.

Now that it's noticeable, I've had people comment on my weight loss. Most people just say something like "You lost weight! You look great!" However....there are those people that want to know "How much weight did you lose?" I really don't want to give a number - for a lot of reasons. Usually I just say something like "a lot". Just wondering how other people respond to that question.


Thanks!

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I’ve been lucky that not a lot of people have asked but there is no reason you can’t just say your seeing a nutritionists and meal planning/ cutting portion sizes and calories, Protein first, etc and just leave out the surgery part.

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"a lot" was pretty much my standard answer the first year or two after surgery. I didn't want them silently calculating in their heads what I must have weighed before. Now I often say "over 100 lbs" (although at over six years out, it almost never comes up anymore). To most people, 100 lbs seems like an outrageous amount of weight, so they're satisfied with that answer. The real answer is over 200 lbs. I don't think people without a serious weight problem could wrap their head around that. Plus I don't really want people to know that I once weighed that much.

Edited by catwoman7

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My responses are pretty similar to everyone else. When asked how much I usually say "a lot" or "more than I weigh." If they insist on a number I just say "more than 100 lbs." When they ask how I say "a lot of hard work" or "complete lifestyle change." When they ask about diet, it's "high Protein, low carb, small portions." And for those people that insist, "one donut isn't going to hurt you," I say, "no thank you, I broke my sugar addiction and I'm never going back there...I know what it does to me!"

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I think ‘a lot’ is a good answer to give. I honestly can’t think of something better to say. In the past I’d sometimes say I didn’t know exactly, just to avoid further questions.
Thinking about is, it’s actually really rude to ask someone how much they’ve lost or how much they still have to lose. Fortunately most people just compliment me. I do get an occasional question asking how I’m losing the weight. I’ll answer that I’m eating less, eating more frequent and doing low carb (which is not a lie).
I do get comments on how little I’m eating sometimes from colleagues (“Are you only eating Soup? Again?” (I was still in puréed and soup was easy!)). Those I find really hard to dodge. Sometimes I’ll take twice the amount of food with me and just leave half, just to avoid any questions. I’ve also gotten non see through plastic containers, so they can’t see the amount of food in my container unless standing next to me. Oh, the struggles keeping wls a secret, lol.

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15 hours ago, TinDE said:

"How much weight did you lose?"

I think "A lot" is an excellent answer; it's true without being specific. But if you're hoping to squelch them, you could try "Oh, you want to talk numbers? Let's start with your salary." That should give them a hint that their question was rude, and the number is none of their business.

Edited by FutureSylph

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Tell them you’ll compare your weight loss to theirs and when they say “zero” yell “divide by zero error!!!” and run off.

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I'm generally pretty sarcastic and also don't like these types of personal questions....so I say things like..

'You know...no one would ever tell me I was fat when I was fat...but now that I've lost weight...everyone wants to let me know how fat I used to be. Weird huh' Or something like that...and no one asks me again after that lol.

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58 minutes ago, Officially Not Fatty Matty said:

Tell them you’ll compare your weight loss to theirs and when they say “zero” yell “divide by zero error!!!” and run off.

This made me snort. For real, we don't owe anyone an explanation.

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Thanks for your replies!!! I'm pretty sarcastic...so sometimes " a lot" just doesn't give me the satisfaction!!! LOL

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I would probably tell them a general number but if pressed on how, I'd respond a VLCD, which is what we are all on. I don't blame you for not telling them anything though.

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I literally just ignore the question. Totally pretend I don't hear it. (I have hearing loss anyway so it's believable.)

People don't generally persist.

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Yeah, rude personal questions like that will get a dismissive "I've lost the weight I've lost next subject" with a tight-smile-that-doesn't-reach-my-eyes from me.

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22 hours ago, muffin.x said:

I think ‘a lot’ is a good answer to give. I honestly can’t think of something better to say. In the past I’d sometimes say I didn’t know exactly, just to avoid further questions.
Thinking about is, it’s actually really rude to ask someone how much they’ve lost or how much they still have to lose. Fortunately most people just compliment me. I do get an occasional question asking how I’m losing the weight. I’ll answer that I’m eating less, eating more frequent and doing low carb (which is not a lie).
I do get comments on how little I’m eating sometimes from colleagues (“Are you only eating Soup? Again?” (I was still in puréed and Soup was easy!)). Those I find really hard to dodge. Sometimes I’ll take twice the amount of food with me and just leave half, just to avoid any questions. I’ve also gotten non see through plastic containers, so they can’t see the amount of food in my container unless standing next to me. Oh, the struggles keeping wls a secret, lol.

I've learned a few things when eating around coworkers. I have my "decoy" water bottle that I put on the table, knowing I'm not going to drink it, because I got tired of "hey, I'm running downstairs to get something do you want me to pick up a drink for you?" Also, I work 12 hr shifts so I pack extra Snacks. I just unload 1/2 of my lunchbag and no one notices how much I eat or not eat. The people that matter to me know I eat small portions.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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