Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How do you respond?



Recommended Posts

I had my bypass about 7 weeks ago. I lost about 50 pounds leading up to surgery and 20 pounds after. I also choose not to tell people I had surgery.

Now that it's noticeable, I've had people comment on my weight loss. Most people just say something like "You lost weight! You look great!" However....there are those people that want to know "How much weight did you lose?" I really don't want to give a number - for a lot of reasons. Usually I just say something like "a lot". Just wondering how other people respond to that question.


Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve been lucky that not a lot of people have asked but there is no reason you can’t just say your seeing a nutritionists and meal planning/ cutting portion sizes and calories, Protein first, etc and just leave out the surgery part.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"a lot" was pretty much my standard answer the first year or two after surgery. I didn't want them silently calculating in their heads what I must have weighed before. Now I often say "over 100 lbs" (although at over six years out, it almost never comes up anymore). To most people, 100 lbs seems like an outrageous amount of weight, so they're satisfied with that answer. The real answer is over 200 lbs. I don't think people without a serious weight problem could wrap their head around that. Plus I don't really want people to know that I once weighed that much.

Edited by catwoman7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My responses are pretty similar to everyone else. When asked how much I usually say "a lot" or "more than I weigh." If they insist on a number I just say "more than 100 lbs." When they ask how I say "a lot of hard work" or "complete lifestyle change." When they ask about diet, it's "high Protein, low carb, small portions." And for those people that insist, "one donut isn't going to hurt you," I say, "no thank you, I broke my sugar addiction and I'm never going back there...I know what it does to me!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think ‘a lot’ is a good answer to give. I honestly can’t think of something better to say. In the past I’d sometimes say I didn’t know exactly, just to avoid further questions.
Thinking about is, it’s actually really rude to ask someone how much they’ve lost or how much they still have to lose. Fortunately most people just compliment me. I do get an occasional question asking how I’m losing the weight. I’ll answer that I’m eating less, eating more frequent and doing low carb (which is not a lie).
I do get comments on how little I’m eating sometimes from colleagues (“Are you only eating Soup? Again?” (I was still in puréed and soup was easy!)). Those I find really hard to dodge. Sometimes I’ll take twice the amount of food with me and just leave half, just to avoid any questions. I’ve also gotten non see through plastic containers, so they can’t see the amount of food in my container unless standing next to me. Oh, the struggles keeping wls a secret, lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, TinDE said:

"How much weight did you lose?"

I think "A lot" is an excellent answer; it's true without being specific. But if you're hoping to squelch them, you could try "Oh, you want to talk numbers? Let's start with your salary." That should give them a hint that their question was rude, and the number is none of their business.

Edited by FutureSylph

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell them you’ll compare your weight loss to theirs and when they say “zero” yell “divide by zero error!!!” and run off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm generally pretty sarcastic and also don't like these types of personal questions....so I say things like..

'You know...no one would ever tell me I was fat when I was fat...but now that I've lost weight...everyone wants to let me know how fat I used to be. Weird huh' Or something like that...and no one asks me again after that lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

58 minutes ago, Officially Not Fatty Matty said:

Tell them you’ll compare your weight loss to theirs and when they say “zero” yell “divide by zero error!!!” and run off.

This made me snort. For real, we don't owe anyone an explanation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your replies!!! I'm pretty sarcastic...so sometimes " a lot" just doesn't give me the satisfaction!!! LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would probably tell them a general number but if pressed on how, I'd respond a VLCD, which is what we are all on. I don't blame you for not telling them anything though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I literally just ignore the question. Totally pretend I don't hear it. (I have hearing loss anyway so it's believable.)

People don't generally persist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, rude personal questions like that will get a dismissive "I've lost the weight I've lost next subject" with a tight-smile-that-doesn't-reach-my-eyes from me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, muffin.x said:

I think ‘a lot’ is a good answer to give. I honestly can’t think of something better to say. In the past I’d sometimes say I didn’t know exactly, just to avoid further questions.
Thinking about is, it’s actually really rude to ask someone how much they’ve lost or how much they still have to lose. Fortunately most people just compliment me. I do get an occasional question asking how I’m losing the weight. I’ll answer that I’m eating less, eating more frequent and doing low carb (which is not a lie).
I do get comments on how little I’m eating sometimes from colleagues (“Are you only eating Soup? Again?” (I was still in puréed and Soup was easy!)). Those I find really hard to dodge. Sometimes I’ll take twice the amount of food with me and just leave half, just to avoid any questions. I’ve also gotten non see through plastic containers, so they can’t see the amount of food in my container unless standing next to me. Oh, the struggles keeping wls a secret, lol.

I've learned a few things when eating around coworkers. I have my "decoy" water bottle that I put on the table, knowing I'm not going to drink it, because I got tired of "hey, I'm running downstairs to get something do you want me to pick up a drink for you?" Also, I work 12 hr shifts so I pack extra Snacks. I just unload 1/2 of my lunchbag and no one notices how much I eat or not eat. The people that matter to me know I eat small portions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×