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So Disappointed In Myself...



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Lizzie I just wanted to say thank you for sharing, I am in that post surgery pre-fill phase and just had a small gain. One that I had me doubting myself and falling back into self defeating bad habits. Your post and the replies have changed my outlook :bounce:

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Lizzie. Call TLBC and get they support you need. I am going for my second fill next week and hope to have more restriction. I am sympathizing with you and understand exactly what you are going through. It will work out n the long run, keep your head up and keep going. NEVER GIVE UP.

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Elizabeth, what you are experiencing is normal. I gained 7 lbs in between fills. Go get your fill and if that doesn't help get another one and another until you find your spot. It took me 5 fills and 6 months to finally get there. Good luck.

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Please don't be so hard on yourself--just remember that with each morning comes a NEW BEGINNING! We just get back on our horses to ride again.

I stopped losing two weeks ago (and actually had to change my ticker, much to my dismay) so I decided to go back to what the nutritionist had me doing for six months: a food LOG! I was then able to see places where I could improve and I set mini-goals for myself, calorie and protein-wise.

My weight has gone down twice now in the last five days (but I'm still not going to change my ticker until I'm sure--don't want to jinx myself!!)

This will pass and you will wonder why you doubted yourself at all!! :bounce:

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Lizzie:

We have a new member who is a lap band doctor. Check out his post on another thread: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f84/3-weeks-after-surgery-46780/#post649397

We are in the healing phase and not the weight-loss phase. Yes, it's tough to see others lose but this isn't a competition. I've read stories here about some who have gone through what you're going through who ended up losing quickly once they got restriction. It's hard to be patient but there's nothing to be ashamed about.

You've received some good advice on this thread and by sharing your feelings, you've probably helped countless others who are going through the same thing. This is a support board -- try to take advantage of the support you've received and keep trying! :hug:

This post has most definetly helped me. I am making very wise choices in my food, as far as what and how much. I haven't really felt any restriction, but I'm not pushing it by overeating. And am following the post-op diet. I guess I expected to lose at a rate of 2-3 pounds a week right from the start, but that's not happening. I lost 8 pounds while on clear and full liquids, but once soft foods started, not much. I keep comparing my self to people I see that, for example, were banded 3 months ago and have lost 35 pounds. But then again, maybe only people we lose a lot of weight post because they are embrassed and feel like a failure compared to the others. That is why this post is beneficial to me. We just must keep on going. I know this lapband thing will work.

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This post has most definetly helped me. I am making very wise choices in my food, as far as what and how much. I haven't really felt any restriction, but I'm not pushing it by overeating. And am following the post-op diet. I guess I expected to lose at a rate of 2-3 pounds a week right from the start, but that's not happening. I lost 8 pounds while on clear and full liquids, but once soft foods started, not much. I keep comparing my self to people I see that, for example, were banded 3 months ago and have lost 35 pounds. But then again, maybe only people we lose a lot of weight post because they are embrassed and feel like a failure compared to the others. That is why this post is beneficial to me. We just must keep on going. I know this lapband thing will work.

My words got tangled there.

I mean "maybe only those who lose a lot of weight are the ones who post the most. Ones that don't lose much or not at all may not post, thus making us compare ourselves to the higher weight loss bandsters.

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Hi

I had my surgury Sept 18, 2007. I have yet to have any fill at this time because my doctors office will not do them until 3 months after the surgery. At this point I can eat whatever I want I just have to have will power. I have lost to date 33 lbs with no fill but have not lost anything in the last 3 weeks. To me this is very frustrating because I am eating right and excercising. I have an appointment next week to schedule a fill which my doctor does in the hospital since he wants you to go to radiology once the fill is done (I guess he fills to the max). Will I now start feeling like I ate 3 steak dinners or will I only feel pain if I eat too much. When I had this surgery I was under the impression that after I eat I will feel as though I ate so much I want to throw up yet I have not felt that at all, I feel as though I am just being really good about my food choices. I really don't know what to expect after my fill.

Jennifer

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Lizzie please don't beat yourself up.....it took great courage to get this far in the process. You are still healing and until you get that fill that stops your hunger, it is not surprising that you have gained weight.

I am here for support, to let you know that we all care and that you will succeed in time. Remember this is a slow process, we did not gain it over night and we will not take it off over night.

Some people loose quicker than others, simply because they have different metabolisms and also age can be a nother factor. There are many reasons.

Do not be so hard on yourself, you will do just fine, once you get it tweaked just right. Remember your healthy food choices and always eat your Protein first!!

Drink your Water and move your fanny.......it will all work out I am certain of it!!

Hugz!!

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Wow, I was expecting maybe one or two responses. Thank you EVERYONE for your awesome advice and support.

I know that when I see the scale going up or staying the same for a while I start to be less motivated and eat worse (hence the reason I'm overweight to begin with). I have been getting more than enough Protein in my diet because I am terrified to lose my hair lol. Plus, that's one positive aspect of eating too much, it's much easier to consume a lot of Protein. So I don't think lack of protein is my issue, it's no restriction plus my head issues with food and weight loss. My first fill most likely won't bring me restriction but it'll be nice to feel like I'm on my way (and hopefully not be able to eat quite as much). For now though I know it's all about healthy choices and I'm going to try to at least eat the right things, even if it's slightly more than what is ideally recommended. I feel a lot more motivated after hearing your responses (I wanted to delete my post the moment I sent it). I talked with my brother and he is getting me a gym membership for xmas so I'm really excited about that. At least with a gift you feel obligated to use it, right? =) That's my theory anyway. I hope the next bandsters in line learn from this at least that when the scale goes up a little in the healing phase after surgery don't take that as a cue to eat more out of sheer frustration like I did. You'll end up in a lovely little downhill spiral.

Thanks again for your responses everyone.

p.s. I changed my ticker...reality check.

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Good on you Lizzie... glad to hear you're feeling better. This is a journey so there will always be ups and downs... remember we're here to applaud you or help you out of the mud. Take care.

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i'll chime in with everyone else here...you are not alone. i was banded 10/18, and as of yesterday, i am up to my preop weight. i missed my second fill because i was ill, so now i have a few more weeks to go. i have 6.5 cc's already, (that was my first fill), but i am yet to get stuck, pb, slime or anything. i can eat whatever i want in whatever quantity i want.

i have great difficulty dieting, and i tried for a few weeks, but now, i'm just waiting for my fills and my restriction to kick in that way i will have help. there's no sense in beating myself up for something, that i feel, i have little control over. i'm hungry, i'm going to eat.

so, more fills, here i come (now if my doctor's office would just have an opening somewhere in the next 3 months for fills....haha...i can't get in until my already scheduled 3rd fill. seems to me they may need to train someone else to do fills and add to their staff...fills are the most important aspect of this surgery, and what good is a surgeon if we can't get them... (by the way i love my doc..just wish they weren't so busy).

so i'm rambling..but you are not alone....i'm right there with you, and appear to be doing worse, as you still have some weight loss....

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its nice to have so much support on this site. i am only 3 weeks out so i wont be ready for a fill until at least 3 more weeks. it sounds like the first fill usually doesnt work, its helpful to know not to get my hopes up. i guess we need to make the best choices if we can without restriction, i can see why people gain weight during this waiting period i hope that i can keep my 16 pounds lost off.

andrea

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Hi Andielmt,

My opinion is that the band restriction should always be perfect. It is adjustable so I see no reason why it can't be perfect all the time.

In my opinion, if you have your first fill and you can still eat a lot and you feel as hungry as if you were on a diet and you find it hard to lose weight, I think you need more saline in there to help you out. I think a lot of band clinics don't get it perfect soon enough.

perfect = full on small meals, not hungry between meals, easily lose 1-2 pounds per week, think your surgeon is miraculous, send your surgery practice a Christmas card that will bring tears to your eyes

too loose = hungry, able to eat a lot, feel like you're on a diet, hard to lose weight

too tight = heartburn, everything hurts to eat and wants to come back up, the only thing that will go down is ice cream and Cheetos

Hope that helps.

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Boy can I relate to this .... I have had my 1st fill but my doctor only fills 1 cc at a time .. I will be going again on Monday. I am so frustrated because I do not feel any restriction either and I know I need to be more disciplined and SLOW DOWN but it's hard. I feel almost ashamed to go see him on Monday (Isn't that ridiculous !) I've got to stop beating myself up. It's just soooooo frustrating when I see friends and family and every time it's "how much have you lost" ARRGGHHHH I know they mean well but enough already ! . I have to fix my ticker as well, I am up about 5 lbs. I have to be patient (have never been to good with that one) I hear such a range of fill levels .. babs, how many cc's has your doc put in for each fill ? Doc Watkins ... Is there a "norm" for fill levels, it seems some doctors are alot more aggressive with the saline. I guess I'd rather my surgeon go slow that for me to get sick .... It's just the waiting ... he always wants 6 weeks in between and 1 cc at a time (SIGH)

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There are certainly many styles of doing band adjustments and if I criticize your surgeon's approach they will just get mad at me!

It sounds like you need more saline in your band to help you out. My opinion is that if a patient is still hungry and can eat too much and is having a hard time losing weight, even if it is right after a fill, I have them come back in and add more saline until we get it perfect.

The band is very powerful when it is perfectly adjusted.

It sounds like your band's too loose.

hope that helps

brad

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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