So Disappointed In Myself...
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I went on this forum trying to gain a vast understanding of how my recovery would be once I got the band. I prepared myself for "bandster hell" and knew it could be a very demotivating factor for me, but I hoped that since this was my chance to turn my weight around that I would be strong and stick to the program. When I started mushies 3 weeks ago I immediately put on 2-3lbs even though I was eating the right amount. As my discouragment continued and my weight stayed the same I felt more and more defeated and started increasing my intake. I'm so ashamed to admit that I'm almost back to my surgery weight and cannot bring myself to change my ticker. I'm scared that I stretched my pouch or hurt my band. I get my first fill next week, so I guess I'm just hoping for some advice or support. I've lived my whole life saying I'd lose weight and then disappointing myself and I can't believe that I'm doing it again. Wow, it's so upsetting just writing this...sorry for the downer msg. Just had to get it out I guess and admit it to myself..