Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I hope my children are supportive.



Recommended Posts

My procedure for gastric sleeve surgery is scheduled for July 23rd in Mexico with Dr. Illian. I find myself watching every video and reading all the info I can get my hands on as I'm wanting to be and feel as prepared as possible. I want so badly for all to go well and to start this new chapter in my life. All that being said I do have some concerns. My biggest being that I have a large family with 5 children and I'm worried that they're going to hate all the changes that are going to be happening and that it's going to be really hard on them. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Or is there any advice you could give me? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

Sent from my moto g stylus using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations to you. I can't give perspective as a parent, just as a child. I know that my mother has made plenty of changes in her life that were not bariatric surgery but affected me a lot. At the time (when I was a teenager/in college) I was upset about some of them. But I got older and some time passed and I realized that she had to do those things for her. It might take a little while for them to get on board but they love you and they will get there. You just have to stay the course and do what is right for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have children, although my family was super supportive and knew I was becoming much healthier as I lost weight. I can imagine some kids might be freaked out by food changes (unless they continue to eat the same way as they did before your surgery), but I would think they would be fine with the idea of a thinner, healthier mom. But then I don't have kids, so I'm probably not the one to talk. I'm just thinking about how I would have felt about this when I was a kid...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are your kids young? I would focus on balance for them, you can incorporate some of your new healthy habits while maintaining things they enjoy. Kids need fat and carbs for proper development, plus they naturally burn a ton of energy. One of my biggest worries with my weight was passing along bad habits to my child. My mom started giving me 'diet' Snacks when I was young and I think having restriction at a young age led to wanting excess. I'm all about balance for him, healthy options and fun kid snacks, eat when you're hungry and I don't force more bites if he's not hungry, I allow him to trust his body. I don't think any of changes I need to make for me should have any significant effect on him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been listening to the Weight Loss Surgery podcast and Lisa Lampanelli's Get Stuffed. She is one of my fave comics and she had a sleeve in 2014-15. They both cover these topics in episodes. I find most people are afraid of change, but to quote my favorite business book -Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers. Best of luck to you!

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My 4 kids (ages 6-15) know I’ve had surgery(ies) for weight loss and other things. I started changing things pretty slowly. Picking a new vegetable to try once a month, making a healthier version of their favorite foods. Buying healthier versions of their favorite Condiments (sugar free ketchup, light or fat free dressings, light mayo, etc.). Having them help cook meals made them more likely to enjoy them with me.

Sure they still eat Mac and cheese, instant ramen, and chicken nuggets but those are the nights I’m glad I have leftovers from a healthy meal I made earlier in the week or can make a salad.

Its all about balance and kids get that if you talk to them about it and reassure any fears or answer any questions they might have. I think teaching them that healthy doesn’t have to mean boring has also been a huge plus (for me at least).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don’t have children either but I can share a couple of stories.

My mother asked by 20 yr old nephew if he thought I was different since I lost weight. He gave my mother a strange look then looked at me & said nope. She’s still the bestest aunt.

My 8 yr old niece asked me why I was skinny now. I told her it was so she could give me better hugs. She threw herself at me & wrapped her arms about me then ran off to play.

The 10 yr old son of my friend was talking to her about a boy in his class who was very overweight & how sad it was he couldn’t play sport. My friend said yes, it is difficult when you are big to be active. Look how much I can do with you now I’ve lost weight. Her son looked at her quizzical & said what do you mean you lost weight. She said you know from when I was really overweight. He replied you were never fat.

Sometimes, our children, nieces & nephews, only see the real us inside not the physical outer us. & they can be more accepting & non judgemental about changes to our external selves.

I don’t know the ages of your children but be open. Talk to them about why you’re doing this & how it will be better for all of you. You healthier, more active, etc. & benefits to all of you because of better eating habits as well. Introduce the changes that directly affect them slowly so they are more accepting & not adverse to the changes.

Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 4/27/2021 at 10:16 PM, Arabesque said:

The 10 yr old son of my friend was talking to her about a boy in his class who was very overweight & how sad it was he couldn’t play sport. My friend said yes, it is difficult when you are big to be active. Look how much I can do with you now I’ve lost weight. Her son looked at her quizzical & said what do you mean you lost weight. She said you know from when I was really overweight. He replied you were never fat.

This has been my experience with my kids - 14 and 11. The oldest was frustrated with me because I was stopping to check out stores that I've never been able to shop in, and I finally told her that not everything was about her, and now that I'm almost able to shop in a "normal" store, I wanted to check it out.

She looked at me like I'd grown an extra head and said - What do you mean normal? You're normal.

Me: You know, I've only been able to shop in stores with big clothes.

Her: Why? You're not big, but you are losing your butt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your surgery is on my one year surgery anniversary!
I only have one child, a 10 year old son, and he has been amazing and not really phased at all by the whole process of me getting surgery and all the changes I've made. Considering it's been the year of COVID, virtual school, etc, I think he has dealt with it very well and he really is my biggest supporter. I talked to him a lot about it beforehand and prepared him for the changes.
I think kids are actually pretty good at handlinh stuff like this as long as you prepare them.
I know my son is happy to have a mom who can do so much more with him now!

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×