I asked this question on Dr. Kuri's website and had lots of imput so I will ask again.

I am having surgery on 1-10-2008 with Dr. Kuri in Mexico. I travel a lot in my job so not a big deal for me to be gone. I am not telling them at first. I will tell them after I get home and start seeing some change.

What did you do? What did you say to your kids or familY?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!

I have 4 boys; 18,16,14 and 5. I told the older ones exactly what I was going to have done. Two of them told me that it was cheating! I sad it wasn't that easy. The 18 year old had a bad dream one week before and hugged me and started sobbing and wouldn't let go off me. The 5 year old knew that Mami was going to go to the hospital to get healthy. He hugged me around my head for many days and has never jumped on my stomach again. In the beginning the older ones kept saying: How much can you eat? Can you have that?

The other day I woke up and my tummy looked smaller and I ran to my kids to show them. My husband is very encouraging and buys me food that he finds has much protein.

I'm happy I told them.

I told my oldest which is 12 and I asked him to keep it between him and I because I didn't want everyone to know, the reason why I didn't tell my 7 year old is that he shares to much information with everyone and I didn't what everyone to be questioning me every time they shaw me, as it is he thinks I am pregnant every time I need to go to the bathroom to throw up and I tell him I am sick to my stomach (he remembers when I was pregnant with my baby) I figure when he gets older I can explain it to him and he would understand. I feel that only certain people should know and that if I want to share it later I would. The only ones that know is my parents, two sister and brother. Its funny to see how everyone really wants to know what diet I am on because I have lost alot of weight, keep the guessing.

I told my kids, I couldn't have not done so. BUT my 13 year old daughter overeats and is overweight and horrified me last week by saying 'well, I'll just get a band when I'm older' - so there is a danger that the knowledge could cause them to think this is the thing to do in adulthood and that overeating in the meantime is okay. It should be seen as a last resort, of course.

I told my 7yr old and sometimes she acts like she has the band.

haha, that is too funny. it's amazing how kids imitate us. i haven't had my son do that... but he does say, "mom can we go to mcdonald's, they have liquids". he seems to be stuck in that part of it, maybe because i make such a big deal out of only having liquids, he hasn't even noticed that i eat dinner with them.

I Started The Pre-op Preparations And Test, Then My Kids Started Freaking Out With Worry. They Want Me To Try The Gym One More Time, Any Suggestions?

P.s. Last Time I Went To The Gym For One Year And Went From 330 To 315 Lb.s. But I Had Awesome Bloodwork And Felt Good, But Didn't Look Good.

I told my 10 year old daughter. She's now my food police! "Mom - you can't drink from a straw!!!"

I am usually very open with her, so it was a no-brainer for me to tell her. She needs to lose 30, so we're dieting together. When I stop, she stops and it's helped her to have someone there helping her, and vice versa.

I Started The Pre-op Preparations And Test, Then My Kids Started Freaking Out With Worry. They Want Me To Try The Gym One More Time, Any Suggestions?

P.s. Last Time I Went To The Gym For One Year And Went From 330 To 315 Lb.s. But I Had Awesome Bloodwork And Felt Good, But Didn't Look Good.

My kids were 11 nad 6 when I had the surgery. I didn't tell my 12 year old until about a week before. She had a lot of questions which I tried to answer. The morning of the surgery she told me, "Mom you know, you don't have to do this, you are already beautiful." After thanking her and writing a check for all the money I have to her I explained that this was not about how I look but how I feel. I explained my health issues and my desire to just feel better. I also told her what I tried in the past. It took a minute but she understood. I didn't tell my 6 year old until the day before. He was not much interested until I came home and he wanted to see the scars.

Your kids are worried because any surgery has mortality risks. I talked to my 12 year old about that also and explained the safety of the surgery. You have to deal honestly with them when they are old enough to understand.

If you haven't done so, take them to an information session or let them read some prescreened posts. Good luck to you.

Val

I told all of my kids who range from 5 yrs to 12 yrs. They have been able to understand why sometimes mommy's tummy hurts and things. For me it was easier to tell them than for them to worry about me.

Thanks for the replies. I forgot to mention

I have a 14 year old boy.... going on 4

and a 11 year old daughter going on 30!!!!!

I know I am going to have to tell them I just don't want them worried while I am in Mexico. And I don't want other family members giving me

advice.

I will need support but after it is done not before... does that make sense?????

I agree with you for teenagers. Im not telling mine right away. I dont want them to think i took the easy way out but rather have them know by watching me eat differently. I just think maybe they will follow suit that way and not create hysteria.

Thanks Val, good stuff

I was totally open with my two, girl 12 and boy 9.

I explained everything to them, what the band is for, how it works, showed them the diagrams and told them the reasons why I was having it done... and also the bumps I may experience along the way, but most of all the positive changes for all of us as a family. They have been 100% supportive and are proud that I'm now losing weight.

This is just the experience I've had with my children.. by no means am I saying all kids will take it the same way mine did, especially being that I didn't have to travel far from home to have it done.

All the best with whatever you decide and good luck.

My daughter is 11 and she understood.

She said it was nobodys business!

At first she said mama you're not fat.

Now she says mama you are getting too skinny!

Ha kids are a jewel.

I was banded in June. there was so much going on before surgery that I had to tell my daughter. she is 10 years old and she was really happy. since i am a single mother, we stayed with a friend for the night and the for the next week, my daughter helped out with anything i needed.

My sons are 19 and 23. I told both of them. They were both relatively supportive but the older one thought I was having a bypass and was very frightened. I explained I was having a band. He still looked puzzled so I got out the information booklet the surgeon gave me. It had pictures in it. Once he was able to see what they were going to do to me, and that they weren't going to "chop me up" he was okay with it. I have my own shelf in the pantry and fridge, and they are very respectful of Mom's "special" things. The older one overheard me tell my husband I had lost 15 pounds and he told me he was proud of me. He was very helpful when I got home from the hospital. Washed dishes, vaccuumed, mopped, fed the dog, ran errands, etc. he even cooks dinner now for him and his Dad, so I won't have to smell the aroma of the food. The younger one was away at college. He got home yesterday and hasn't really mentioned it. His brother reminded him not to touch Mom's food things.

I did not tell my kids (they are 15 & 17), mainly because I didn't tell my DH family and a lot of our friends and I didn't want my kids to feel like they had to lie. So, only my DH and I know and a few select other people.

My kids have never asked me "how are you losing" or questioned me about me weightloss, they are just happy that I am getting healthier and they tell me how skinny I'm getting. My son is a little grossed out when his friends tell him his mom is hot, lol, but besides that, it has worked out just fine with me not telling.