Boyfriend rant about food...

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

At the risk of sounding awful, I'm just going to say, I've ALWAYS hated sharing food! In fact I generally will buy extra Snacks so that no one asks me for mine. And when they do anyway, I scream nasty things to them in my head but smile and share anyway.

The thing is, I've always been a pretty slow eater. People think that means I don't want my food but I do! For example, I can make popcorn last the entire movie because I eat them one at a time. My boyfriend eats popcorn by the handful and is done by the opening credits. When we share, I've had 10 bites and he has eaten the entire bag! Thus, I get my own popcorn or pretzel bites but then I come off looking selfish or greedy when I don't want to share mine. It's annoying. Or when we go out to eat, I purposely save half my meal until later but most of them time he will ask me if it's OK for him to have it later that night.

Anyway, all of this I to say, I see it being way worse now! Lol. I find myself always telling my boyfriend to stop eating my food. I'm going to eat the rest later (maybe! But I should at least have the option). All of these high Protein snack are soooo expensive. I brought those bariatric protein reeses cup (yum) but can only eat one at a time. He will eat my second one and have his own set. The box came with 10. They are now done and I only had 3 cups. I'm not supposed to have popcorn yet but I ordered this gourmet bag for charity before my surgery that finally came last Thursday. My nutritionist said I can have them at week 6 and I WAS going to patiently wait for then but my boyfriend asked me to open them to try it out (They were heaven!) He then proceeded to have one serving at a time over the last 2 days and now they're done. I ate more then I should have because I felt like I should atleast have some before they were gone.

I feel like arguing about food is sooo petty but it's starting to annoy me. It doesn't help that he did not have the surgery but seems to be losing more weight than me eating/drinking all of my protein! Lol. Im really not mad he is losing weight too but I just feel like he can maybe contribute to purchasing all of these expensive items. It makes it a little harder for me to stay on track when all the things I buy are finished so fast. I'm sipping on plain Water as a type this because I didn't realize all the crystal lite was finished!

I should just get over myself right? I was the person who generally brought the groceries before surgery. I still buy normal groceries but now also include specific things for me. What do you guys think?

Edited March 14, 2021 by XtinaDoesIt

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

If I was the one buying all the groceries, and then is also paying for the more expensive Protein Snacks, I would be pissed too. Did you calmly explain to him that you prefer for him not to eat your "special" snacks. I think if you approach it in the right way, he would understand. If not, then he better kick in some money. LOL

Hubby, and I always used to eat off each others plates, and it never bothered me. Now since my WLS we eat separate meals. He doesn't like most of the stuff I eat, so it's not a problem.

[WishMeSmaller 1,274]

Hubby knows he is only allowed to eat a bit of my high Protein Snacks (he usually asks). The main one is my Built Protein Bars. He could easily eat one or two per day. Instead he has 1-2 per week, which I am ok with. I just make sure he has plenty of the foods and snacks he likes, so he stays away from my stuff. 😆

[Jaelzion 1,129]

Uh no, you shouldn't get over yourself, you should set some boundaries! As a WLS patient, you have particular requirements for your food. It's unkind and unfair to eat all your food knowing that you will then be left with nothing to eat. If he absolutely loves your bariatric foods, that's great - he should contribute to the cost and then you guys can buy enough for the two of you. Problem solved!

Edited March 14, 2021 by Jaelzion

[Creekimp13 5,841]

This would be a terrific conversation to have with a bariatric therapist, IMO. Wondering what mine would say?

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

6 hours ago, HealthyLifeStyle said:

Hubby, and I always used to eat off each others plates, and it never bothered me. Now since my WLS we eat separate meals. He doesn't like most of the stuff I eat, so it's not a problem.

My boyfriend is so indecisive and hates it when I don't decide what we eat for dinner. He is willing to eat my meals just so that he doesn't have to decide what to eat. One positive thing is that since the meals or so simple and I am "recovering 😀," he has made dinner more than he ever has. I don't so much mind the meals... I just don't want to share my snacks! And I don't want to seem selfish about not sharing.... such a conundrum...

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

5 hours ago, WishMeSmaller said:

I just make sure he has plenty of the foods and Snacks he likes, so he stays away from my stuff. 😆

Yeah, maybe if I choose 1 to 2 things that are off limits at least I'll have that to snack on. He goes through his snacks faster than I do and then turns to mine.... especially now that I eat so little.

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

5 hours ago, Jaelzion said:

Uh no, you shouldn't get over yourself, you should set some boundaries! As a WLS patient, you have particular requirements for your food. It's unkind and unfair to eat all your food knowing that you will then be left with nothing to eat. If he absolutely loves your bariatric foods, that's great - he should contribute to the cost and then you guys can buy enough for the two of you. Problem solved!

That's true. Maybe I'll make an online order with him and allow him to pick his Snacks and then we can split it. That way I can say we brought our own snacks. Honestly, the money as not as big of the problem (although it is a factor). It's really just that everything is done when by the time I want some.

[HeatherE 203]

I totally understand! I’m the same way. My husband buys my food and knows not to touch it. He did the same thing as your boyfriend when we met until I explained nicely, flipped out when he did it anyway, and now it’s not worth it to him to touch it because he knows what will happen (haha).

I’m happy to share some things, but other things are just mine.

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

8 minutes ago, HeatherE said:

I totally understand! I’m the same way. My husband buys my food and knows not to touch it. He did the same thing as your boyfriend when we met until I explained nicely, flipped out when he did it anyway, and now it’s not worth it to him to touch it because he knows what will happen (haha).

I’m happy to share some things, but other things are just mine.

Lol! Yeah, I'm in the flip out stage with him now. But then I end up feeling like I'm being selfish or greedy. He is a jokester so he'll make a joke about it but it's one of those jokes where I can tell I might have hurt his feelings a little. He does seem to be getting better... SLOWLY...

[HeatherE 203]

It’s not being selfish or greedy. If you had plenty of regular food you could share, would you? This is not about not wanting him to have something... it’s about making sure you have what you need.

They may be slow learners... but when they understand, they do learn and wouldn’t think twice. If not, you don’t want to be with someone who can’t empathize.

I’m also a slow eater, so it happened all the time in the past where someone would take my food. I wouldn’t share with people unless we got two plates and split the food equally.

It may be helpful to have one shelf with No Sharing foods so BF knows what is fair game.

11 minutes ago, XtinaDoesIt said:

Lol! Yeah, I'm in the flip out stage with him now. But then I end up feeling like I'm being selfish or greedy. He is a jokester so he'll make a joke about it but it's one of those jokes where I can tell I might have hurt his feelings a little. He does seem to be getting better... SLOWLY...

Edited March 14, 2021 by HeatherE

[Jaelzion 1,129]

17 minutes ago, XtinaDoesIt said:

Lol! Yeah, I'm in the flip out stage with him now. But then I end up feeling like I'm being selfish or greedy. He is a jokester so he'll make a joke about it but it's one of those jokes where I can tell I might have hurt his feelings a little. He does seem to be getting better... SLOWLY...

It's not selfish or greedy at all. It's no different from a diabetic buying special foods to replace things they can't eat often. Wouldn't you think it inconsiderate if someone ate all the diabetic food knowing that person did not have the option to eat regular treats? Or let's say you live with a vegetarian - who would eat up all the vegetarian food, knowing that person is not comfortable eating meat? Well, your medical condition is just as valid as diabetes, or a severe allergy or being vegan or any other kind of need for special food. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Edited March 14, 2021 by Jaelzion

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

10 minutes ago, HeatherE said:

It may be helpful to have one shelf with No Sharing foods so BF knows what is fair game.

LOVE THIS!

[ShoppGirl 5,073]

I would be upset too. Maybe not about the money (but idk how you split your finances and that food is expensive). I would just be upset that it’s not like you can just run to the jiffy mart and get more Snacks, he can!! If he wants to start eating that way I agree with others that ordering together is a good idea but it sounds like he is just hungry and will eat whatever is around rather than go get something else. Maybe try buying him way more of his snacks than you think he can eat but if he just seems to prefer yours then you need to talk to him. Maybe you can put away a few in a special spot that he is not allowed to eat. Some people are like kids with stuff like that. They don’t do it on purpose they just need to be taught what is acceptable and fair.

[XtinaDoesIt 202]

6 minutes ago, Jaelzion said:

It's not selfish or greedy at all. It's no different from a diabetic buying special foods to replace things they can't eat often. Wouldn't you think it inconsiderate if someone ate all the diabetic food knowing that person did not have the option to eat regular treats? Or let's say you live with a vegetarian - who would eat up all the vegetarian food, knowing that person is not comfortable eating meat? Well, your medical condition is just as valid as diabetes, or a severe allergy or being vegan or any other kind of need for special food. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Thanks!!!! You are right! I think I'm going to use these examples the next time it comes up. This is sound reasoning. He def can't argue with this!