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How do you handle the "How much have you lost" question?



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I made the decision to not share that I was having surgery with anyone outside of my immediate family. I've lost a ton of weight and people are asking "WOW! How much have you lost?" I sort of want to swerve/avoid the question, but I'm not sure how to... Do I lie and minimize how much weight I've lost? Do I avoid answering all together? What do you do?

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Honestly hardly anyone asked how much I lost. I had a couple of what size are you now questions but still very few. I also had some (usually much older family friends & family) ask if I was going to lose more usually followed by you’ve lost too much now.

Those who asked how much I’d just thank them for noticing & or sometimes say ‘oh yeah, I’ve lost a bit’. Then change the subject. I have told a couple of really close friends how much I’ve lost but they know about the surgery & have been very supportive.

Personally, I think it’s pretty rude for people to ask these questions. I mean you don’t ask them what they weigh & you wouldn’t have told them what you weighed before surgery. Why can’t they just congratulate you on what you’ve achieved.

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OMG, it is so rude for people to ask this. Two different people came up to me at work last week and asked me how much weight I've lost. I am kind of shocked that anyone would think this is appropriate to ask someone AT WORK (or, honestly, anywhere, but especially at work). My answer is to say jokingly, "Oh, you know a lady never tells."

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Like you, I told almost nobody about my surgery. Lots of people asked me how I lost so much weight, and I simply told them that it was a medically-supervised weight-loss program (which is true). If they ask how much I've lost, I say that I'm not sure and that it doesn't matter because I did it for my health. I then tell them that I feel great and have more energy than I've had in a long time.

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1 hour ago, FindYourFire said:

I made the decision to not share that I was having surgery with anyone outside of my immediate family. I've lost a ton of weight and people are asking "WOW! How much have you lost?" I sort of want to swerve/avoid the question, but I'm not sure how to... Do I lie and minimize how much weight I've lost? Do I avoid answering all together? What do you do?

Isn’t it terrible that people only ask how much weight you’ve lost but never ask what you’ve gained in return

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Edited by GreenTealael

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When anyone asks me how much I've lost I just say "a lot" or "more than I now weigh." I never give an exact number.

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10 hours ago, BigSue said:

My answer is to say jokingly, "Oh, you know a lady never tells."

I haven't seen anyone other than my husband or daughter since surgery because of covid lockdown, and they both know about the wls - but I'm definitely going to use BigSue's response if anyone asks me this question in the future!!

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Im a guy so really not as sensitive but I just say "No clue was not out to hit a number was out to get healthy, firm and tight, Not going by pounds going by health" Seems to shut em up quickly

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I guess I'm weird. I proudly say how much I've lost.

In my first year, the only thing I kept close to my chest is the fact that I've had surgery. When I had surgery, I kept it mostly to myself, only telling a handful of people in my close circle. But, my co-workers obviously noticed that I was losing weight. They sometimes asked me how I was doing it or how much I'd lost. If they asked me how, I could honestly say that I was exercising and watching what I ate (high protein/low carb/etc). And if they asked me how much I'd lost, I was proud and told them! Every single one of them was happy and complimentary.

Now, after almost 3 years, I really don't have much reservation in admitting I had surgery. Not that many people ask.

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4 minutes ago, S@ssen@ch said:

I guess I'm weird. I proudly say how much I've lost.

Nah, not weird, just an alternative response.

I'm the same way, if someone asks me how many lbs, I tell them.

And if they ask how it was done, I say I ate way less than I used to.

After that, I started getting annoyed, so I changed the subject.

Almost nobody asks or comments about weight loss anymore though, its old news.

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I have to say, that I am SOOOO looking forward to this:

31 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

Almost nobody asks or comments about weight loss anymore though, its old news.

But, I am more than positive that after working remotely since March of last year, when I finally do get to go back... I am going to witness this look more than once. Looking forward to it! HA!!

Awkward Look Monkey Puppet | Know Your Meme

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People ask me all the time how much I lost and I proudly tell them. Guess that makes me weird lol. I'm proud of how far I've come so I'm always happy to share it.

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the first few months I'd say "a lot". Once I got close to maintenance, and even now, I tell them "over 100 lbs". Actually, it was over 200 lbs, but not many "normies" could wrap their head around that number. Plus I don't want them silently calculating my pre-surgery weight. To normal-weight people, 100 lbs sounds like a ton, so they're satisfied with that answer (not that I'm obligated to answer them, of course)

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2 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I don't want them silently calculating my pre-surgery weight.

Exactly! I have 10 more pounds to go to get to half my highest weight, but I know if I tell people that, they will guess my current weight and use that to calculate my highest weight, and I don't want anybody thinking about that!

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I'm a guy also so this is a weird question. If i'm going to be completely honest with myself.... I also seriously "downplayed" that question when I had lost weight via other means in the past knowing full well a lot of folks put it back on. Seriously think about that for a minute. This procedure is really no different. I respect all answers and responses on this thread though... either proudly state what you've lost or just make the comment "a lot less than before".

I personally am neutral and I seriously want this to be "more than temporary" if that makes sense.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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