The serious conversation "oh snap"

[Betty1971 386]

Oh boy it only took two weeks. I knew it was coming eventually but I thought it would be at least two months out. So here comes my dirty laundry and secrets:

I have a serious problem with control. I like to be in control of everything in my life. When I am not in control of something I tend to control something else even more. So, when my eating addiction was out of control my OCD with my house was crazy. My junk drawers are alphabetized. I knew after surgery I would be able to get in control of my appetite and I would start finding routine in my eating and structure in exercise and so forth. This is a good thing.....but.....my hubby had a serious talk ( me and he also plans on having WLS he is very supportive and I know he is only looking out for the best of me but its going to drive me insane). He feels that I am obsessing on what goes in too much and being too restrictive. He looked at my food log (I have no problem with him looking at anything on my phone ) and he about flipped out when he seen over the last 14 days I have had only about 500 calories a day. I know this is low but it is also my first 2 weeks post op, I have had 65 plus gram of Protein and 90 plus ounces of Water. I see the dr and dietitian on Monday and he goes to my appointments with me, I am sure I am not the first person to enjoy the no Hungers after weight loss and by golly I certainly am not going to blow away yet.......I am also aware that I cannot live forever on 500 calories a day.

So here is my question and I will ask the dietitian on Monday in front of my hubby so he hears it from the professionals:

What is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to lose weight at? protein and carb numbers as well

what is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to maintain at? protein and carb numbers as well

[Jaelzion 1,129]

You're 12 days post-op? A lot of us were eating tiny amounts at that point because your tummy isn't even fully healed yet. But it might make your husband feel better to know that intake usually increases over time, you aren't intended to stay at 500 calories forever. Your tummy will heal, your restriction will ease a bit, your appetite will re-assert itself and you'll start eating more (almost everyone does over time).

I stayed at about 600 calories for the first year and now I'm up to 800-900 calories. I have always kept carbs reasonably low (typically 50g per day) because it helps me lose faster and crave less. I am still losing very slowly (like 2 pounds per month) so to maintain I could probably eat a bit more and I'd stop losing altogether.

So early in the process, my bariatric team told me to focus on getting enough hydration and Protein. As long as you're doing that, I'm guessing your dietician will be pleased with how things are going.

[GreenTealael 25,610]

33 minutes ago, Betty1971 said:

Oh boy it only took two weeks. I knew it was coming eventually but I thought it would be at least two months out. So here comes my dirty laundry and secrets:

I have a serious problem with control. I like to be in control of everything in my life. When I am not in control of something I tend to control something else even more. So, when my eating addiction was out of control my OCD with my house was crazy. My junk drawers are alphabetized. I knew after surgery I would be able to get in control of my appetite and I would start finding routine in my eating and structure in exercise and so forth. This is a good thing.....but.....my hubby had a serious talk ( me and he also plans on having WLS he is very supportive and I know he is only looking out for the best of me but its going to drive me insane). He feels that I am obsessing on what goes in too much and being too restrictive. He looked at my food log (I have no problem with him looking at anything on my phone ) and he about flipped out when he seen over the last 14 days I have had only about 500 calories a day. I know this is low but it is also my first 2 weeks post op, I have had 65 plus gram of Protein and 90 plus ounces of Water. I see the dr and dietitian on Monday and he goes to my appointments with me, I am sure I am not the first person to enjoy the no Hungers after weight loss and by golly I certainly am not going to blow away yet.......I am also aware that I cannot live forever on 500 calories a day.

So here is my question and I will ask the dietitian on Monday in front of my hubby so he hears it from the professionals:

What is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to lose weight at? Protein and carb numbers as well

what is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to maintain at? protein and carb numbers as well

At 2 weeks post op I wasn't eating 500 cals (my first 2 weeks were rough) but over time intake will increase. He will have to see and experience this himself before he truly understands.

I'm guessing his concern about your food is really about the control issue. If you firmly follow your plan and increase cals when expected maybe it will show that you aren't just doing the same thing with a different outlet.

Also there are plenty of other things you can focus intently on like documenting your journey, exercise, junk drawers (again) etc.

Good Luck ♥️

[Betty1971 386]

I really feel great. I have had no pain at all. I drink a Protein Shake in the morning and evening and at lunchtime I drink a Bone Broth. I have no problem getting my fluids in. I am taking advantage of the no appetite !! I am hoping that when I see the surgeon he gives me the go ahead to start exercising. With this stupid COVID crap all the gyms are closed but we have a treadmill and rowing machine so I am hoping to be able to start up with some time on them.

We both come from a family with deep addiction issues and by the grace of God we have been able to stay clear of the drug and ETOH but he has been afraid from the start that the surgery will be the start of an eating disorder for me. We have a daughter who struggles with bulimia and has since she was a teenager. I have always blamed her eating disorder on me being big and all that kind of bad parenting stuff but all we can do now is do what we can do to be healthy going forward.

[MommaJay 39]

I am day 6 post op and I was able to get 78 calories today, but my macros were great! [emoji23] I could never get in 500 calories right now. The last week I only had Water and Powerade, so zero calories. I'm not concerned because I'm following the plan my doctor set for me, once I heal, I'll worry about increasing. Right now I'm trying to hydrate. As someone who is medicated for OCD, I understand what you are saying though. Find a balance and not let this control you.

Sent from my SM-G973U using BariatricPal mobile app

[WishMeSmaller 1,274]

I had bypass, but the first two weeks my kcals/day ranged from 50-500. 500 per day at two weeks is great! Some of us WLS folks struggle with 300 kcals at week two. I have also seen a good number of folks on here that stay at 500 kcals until they reach goal.

You are doing awesome! 💕

Edited December 5, 2020 by WishMeSmaller

[Arabesque 7,605]

In my first two weeks I was consuming way less than 500calories. I wasn’t even hitting 300 calories. I wasn’t hungry & had issues with swallowing post surgery because of surgical swelling.

By soft foods I was eating more but still not 500 calories. Once on solid foods, I started eating to a schedule to ensure I ate & to increase my calories to about 500. My surgeon & dietician was fine with this.

At almost 19 months out & I still eat to a schedule & am pretty routine in what I eat too. I still have days I’m just not hungry & I struggle to maintain my weight so the food routine is important for me. I can be flexible because I accept some things are out of my control, but I am concerned about how I’ll manage going back to work. Can’t take an hour to eat & take regular breaks to snack especially in retail. Sigh.

You have to discover what works for you & your medical team is happy with as well. I understand your husband’s concern because of your history so while your surgeon & dietician can oversee your food consumption & physical health, conversations with a therapist may be necessary to support you with your control issues.

Good luck.

[catwoman7 11,284]

I was probably where you are (500 kcal/day) the first month or so. Then I was in the 600-800 range for several months. I didn't consistently go over 1000 kcal a day until I was around a year out. At that point, I was at 1000-1200 or so from one year out until my weight loss stopped around month 20.

I can maintain my current weight if I stay in the 1500-1700 kcal range - although that's going to vary for everyone. Some women can eat 2000 and maintain; others can only eat 1200. Depends on age, metabolic level, activity level, height, how muscular you are, etc. Once you hit maintenance, the best way to find your ideal range is just trial and error - you'll figure it out pretty quickly.

[summerset 5,265]

9 hours ago, Betty1971 said:

What is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to lose weight at? Protein and carb numbers as well

what is your calorie intake that you feel comfortable to maintain at? protein and carb numbers as well

There are no fixed numbers. I know patients want to know exactly and with 110% certainty what and how much to eat and what and how much exercise to do etc. - but fact is: it's highly individual. I ingested way more calories from the beginning on as it seems.

As long as your weight goes into the desired direction and you're feeling fine, things are ok.

[GradyCat 3,697]

There's nothing wrong with being at 500 calories right now. He's just not used to seeing that low of a number and thinks it's weird. It's not. It's perfectly normal. Just stick with the Protein and Water and you'll be fine.

[Mr Alley Gator 263]

14 hours ago, WishMeSmaller said:

I have also seen a good number of folks on here that stay at 500 kcals until they reach goal.

I stayed at 500 till I was close to the goal even now I am never hungry and force myself to eat and get calories - Just make sure you are getting all your vits and minerals in that was my issue at low calories

[ms.sss 15,837]

@Betty1971:

After reading hundreds of posts about people’s experiences the first couple weeks, there is a really a huge difference in calorie consumption across the board. In time though, we all pretty much get to the same levels eventually. Some take longer than others.

You and I have basically the same starting stats...and if ur username is reflective of ur birth year, then we are similar age as well (I’m 5’2”, started at 235lbs at the 2 week pre-op diet, 49yrs old).

Those first couple weeks I was less than 500 cals a WEEK. My doc just said do the best you can. I got to 500 cals a day by the 3 month mark-ish. I ended weight loss phase at around 750-ish cals a day. My labs came back (and continue to come back) with no worrying issues.

Like most, you and your stomach will slowly be able to take in more and more. Im not sure you want to force it so soon. But im not a nutrition expert nor your doctor. Your own doc/nutritionist will give you a more reliable response.

As for the “control” issues, I suppose as long as its not negatively affecting your health/mental health nor well-being/quality of life, then there ain’t nothing wrong with being a little anal, lol.

Sincerely,

A fellow anal-type person ❤️

Edited December 6, 2020 by ms.sss

[Deb9386 110]

I had RNY bypass so not sure if it varies according to procedure but at 2 weeks I was struggling to get 500 calories per day in, but always managed the 60g Protein & 2 litres Water specified. As I went on from 2 weeks to 5 weeks my calorie intake was about 600-700 calories (still doing 60g protein) and now that I'm 6 weeks out I'm taking in between 800-900 calories per day and still losing weight e.g. lost 3lbs in the last week. I'm eating some carbs (they're on my diet plan) but haven't been counting them as such, just sticking with what's on the plan. I don't want to eat less and lose more quickly - my skin is already looking rather saggy tbh and I think rapid weight loss would make this worse.

[catwoman7 11,284]

7 minutes ago, Deb9386 said:

I don't want to eat less and lose more quickly - my skin is already looking rather saggy tbh and I think rapid weight loss would make this worse.

I don't think it's going to make much, if any, difference. The sagginess is due to overly stretched out, damaged skin that isn't likely to bounce back. But it depends somewhat on how long you've been overweight, too - I knew there was no hope for mine bouncing back regardless of how fast or slow I lost weight. I just wanted to lose as much weight as I possibly could during the "honeymoon" period, since I knew it would get harder after that (and it does...)