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Newbie on my Journey ... did you keep your journey a secret



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I kept it private that is different than A Secret 5 years and 7 people know

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i only told my mom dad and boyfriend and his family about it but my boyfriend family doesnt think i can do the diet witch i am putting my mind to it

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Hey Nikki! I absolutely feel this. I had surgery on 7/1 and I’ve been very selective about who I told. My daughter and she didn’t tell her siblings, husband, sister and 3 close friends. However, I told my mom afterwards. I knew she wouldn’t understand. She never understands. 🤦🏾‍♀️ But she was supportive. People are mean. And honestly, it’s just none of their business. I told everyone of them, if I could lose 100lbs on my own, I would’ve. It wasn’t because I didn’t try! It wasn’t because I was inactive. It was because I couldn’t and it was getting the best of me.

It is a tool. It helps. You work hard even with surgery! And no one should judge or discredit that. ❤️

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I am fixing to start the journey into revision surgery, so to be honest, I’m kinda ashamed. After my sleeve (2011) I did lose a lot of weight, but have gained most back. So, long story short, my husband is the ONLY one who knows. I just don’t want to deal with the comments from anyone. I already feel like a complete failure, I don’t need anyone’s help with beating myself up.

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I had a sleeve done 10 years ago. I lost over 140 pounds.

At the outset, I only told my closest friends and family. Maybe 8 people - my dad, and brother knew ( but both have passed away since then ). My then 17 year old daughter and her best friend who was HER support person, and 3 friends. I was in my mid 50's - I am now 64 years old. I regained 40 pounds in 9 years. Spent the last year losing those 40 pounds.

Who knows now ? My daughter and her best friend, and 3 friends. It does not come up in conversation - people who knew me when I as over 300 pounds assume that it was my divorce - which did coincide with about when I had WLS.

I am not skinny by any means, I am now considered overweight by my age adjusted BMI - but I am comfortable in my own loose skin. People who knew me when I was morbidly obese and meet me again now, ask me WHAT HAPPENED ? I tell them the truth " I lost weight".

I also do not tell them that I had a hysterectomy and any other medical issues that I have had in 10 years either.

Eating less, eating mindfully, and intentionally - along with my sleeve that still does work, if I let it.... is what helped me to lose weight again 10 years later.

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I’m three years out. One out of my two parents know and two out of my four siblings. I had to lie (or at least make a lot of omissions) around the time of surgery, but less so now. Your waiter might ask if you didn’t like the food, because you didn’t eat much. Your hairdresser might notice your thinning hair. Your friends will notice you eat far less. Everyone in your life will notice the weight loss. It comes up a lot in the first year. I don’t feel bad about the range of lies I told. Mostly I was just vague.

You do you. Whatever works for you. Some people need support and encouragement from their loved ones and colleagues and the world at large through Instagram, others feel more private and don’t want to deal with questions. It might depend on whether you know anyone else who has been through it or if it’s something your friends and colleagues would have no idea how to relate to. I talk about it with my therapists and doctors. I’m not ashamed, I made peace with the fact that I had to get to the “last resort” of surgery but it’s better for my mental health to not feel like everyone knows. For other people, it’s really exciting to share and open up. I don’t believe there’s a “correct way” to decide how you will do this. Just options and choices.

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I told fewer than 10 close friends & family, and no co-workers. I didn’t even tell my teen who lives with me. She obviously knows I had surgery, but not the details. She sees my weight loss and notices I eat less, but none of it has “clicked” for her. I think it’s funny. One day when she is more mature I will tell her. I’ve been working from home since March, and one colleagues commented that my face looks slimmer on a video call. Explaining that I have more time to focus on nutrition, and fitness since I don’t commute 2-3 hours per day seems to satisfy any curiosity. I’ll save the comments specific to my surgery for the people whose opinions I value. I have to say, though... the people I have told have been supportive.

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I only told my brother who will be taking me to the airport, everyone can just get "keto diet" but I don't like when people have wls and go on social media platforms and act like they did it without wls. Don't promote shakes, teas, etc if u r lying.

Sent from my SM-N970U using BariatricPal mobile app

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10 minutes ago, anniedebbie said:

I don't like when people have wls and go on social media platforms and act like they did it without wls. Don't promote shakes, teas, etc if u r lying.

I agree... I don't think it's anyone's business how you lose weight, unless you choose to publicize it. If you're going to use your weight loss to promote products or get followers, you should be honest about how you lost weight. Some of the stigma of weight loss surgery is because people think it's so easy to lose weight through diet and exercise (and shady weight-loss products). It doesn't help anybody to lead them to believe they will get the same results without WLS.

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I agree. Don’t lie and promote false hope in a product or service that you know doesn’t help just because you are uncomfortable talking about WLS. You never know who your weight loss inspires, and sending someone down the wrong path intentionally is just wrong! I also feel that not everyone is entitled to know all details about my personal journey, so I am at peace with leaving it at, “I’m focusing more on my nutrition and fitness”. I know I inspired someone that I do not want to share with. I am sending her a food diary and teaching her how to log her intake.

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I started my journey in May. Down to my last two requirements and then submission to insurance. Hoping for Sept surgery. As of now, only my husband, my mom and 3 of my best friends know. Already with one of them I’ve gotten backlash and it’s making me rethink this friendship. Totally the reason I haven’t told many people. Negativity is something I don’t need right now. There is nothing wrong with keeping this low. It’s YOUR journey. Something YOU are doing for the better of YOU. I need this to be about me, for me, not about what other people think of something they know nothing about.
😊 Good luck y’all!

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On 7/9/2020 at 2:14 PM, Suzi_the_Q said:

If you DO run into your SIL, remind her of her HIPAA responsibilities, that she can't disclose medical information without your permission. It's your business, no one else's.

Hippa is staff not family 😂 though maybe she will buy it

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I told everyone right the start, screw it they don’t understand or if they pick on me or whatever, this is for me aNd it doesn’t matter what they think, my time and my journey, almost everyone had someone they knew who did it or had a story and most were either cool with it or interested themselves, share it, what harm is there?

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