Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone!

I had my sleeve 6 weeks ago and have lost 17kg... i'm currently in a stall but that's another matter, it'll fix itself i'm sure :)

I was just wondering if anyone here has someone they're close too who has been unsupportive of their WLS? What did you do about it? Have you lost any friends?

I have a friend who has had nothing positive to say about the surgery at all, just talks about how i will never be able to eat anything and i'll be vomiting all the time after my 2 teaspoons (which is completely untrue).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Surprisingly, my youngest sister was unsupportive. I stopped talking to her about the WLS. She didn't even know the date of my surgery. I figured, this was one decision about my life she did not agree with and I am totally okay with her opinion; because it's just that, an opinion. Now, if your friend is constantly making negative comments about your surgery, you might have to reevaluate if she is a genuine friend. No real friend wants you to fail.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pre-WLS I had ZERO support. None. Not one person. Sisters, mother, friends, loved ones -- everyone did NOT want me to get it. My brother was okay about it, but not what I would call supportive.

I got lectured. My mom told me she did NOT want to hear about it - if I was going to do it ...and she told me NOT tell her about it. I had to have my brother tell her when I finally did it, then she waited an entire day before calling me. ( I have a great mother.. I would not trade her for the world. She was just very worried about me having surgery, so I understand her reaction... she's my MOM.)

I was so lonely and sad.

I finally told everyone via email that if they did not want to be supportive, then let's not talk about it, because I had decided it is what I wanted to do... and what I was going to do. And there was no changing my mind.

Since the surgery -- everyone has been nice about it. Not one negative comment.

If I were you - I would put my foot down with your friend and tell her that you need support at this time as you are still healing and adjusting... and for your own mental health, happiness and success - you only want to hear positive things.. and if that is not possible, then she should not discuss with you.

If that doesn't work - I would take a "break" from the friendship. You are going through so much already and don't need that negativity in your life!

PS~ I am 5 1/2 weeks out (will be 6 weeks on Thursday), so we're very close in the healing process! Congratulations!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins :)

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me :) :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

36 minutes ago, Sassafras1 said:

I am 6 weeks on thursday too! We're sleeve twins :)

Thank you, I thought this might be the case. It just surprised me since everyone else who knew i was having it done was really supportive, even my brothers who have never said a kind word to me :) :)

Oh yay!! So glad I met someone who had it done on the same day! Sorry that your brothers haven't been kind to you. 🙁

I stalled for almost 3 weeks! Just started losing again. I had to google KG into LBs.. 😂 The US is one of the few countries that use the metric system, even our neighbors (Canada) don't use it. What a PITA we are!

Anyway, you're doing way better than I am! You are doing fantastic!

I am doing everything by the book but just slowly losing.... Hopefully since I got through the stall -- things will progress a bit quicker.

If you ever need an ear - you can DM me on here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, JRT Mom said:

People use the word "friend" to describe a relationship with another person too handily. A true friend will support you even if they don't totally understand everything you do. We need a new term for those people who like spending time with you but disappear when the going gets tough....maybe "Social buddies"? Sounds like your "friend" is a social buddy instead. A true friend wouldn't worry about what you can and cannot eat, instead they should be proud of you that you are trying to take control of your life and health! Good luck and remember you have true friends to commiserate with here!

Thank you! Yes, i agree.. she's never really been one to rely on. Onward and upward :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×