Don't toot in Bed

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know

And I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of tooting

Loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes Water

And make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because

It was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was

Perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that

One day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for

dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where

She had put the! Turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the

Spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep

And, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic

Waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into

His shorts

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting

Which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic

Footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor

Laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

Bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her

Lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, 'Honey, you were right.' 'All these years you have warned me

And I didn't listen to you.'

'What do you mean?' asked his wife.

'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up tooting my guts

Out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got

Most of them back in.'

:clap2::whoo::clap2::whoo:

GROSS GROSS GROSS!!! And sooooo hilarious! Thanks for that - I needed a good laugh. On clear liquids for 48 hours after 1st fill and feeling super grouchy. Thanks!!!

Ha! That's great! :heh: And sick, at the same time! :speechles

That was hilarious. I can sooooo relate.

TOO funny!!!:biggrin1:

I just thought i would share that. It brighten my day and sickened me a little. LMAO!