delted-i decided that it shouldn't be posted here.

Yikes....sorry. He doesn't seem to have very much respect for you and it just doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship for you. I wish you the best.

Staying with him for the sake of a child is unfair to that child. I'm not saying that you need to leave him, or anything like that. What I AM saying is that IF IT IS time to leave him, you need to recognize that it is, and GO. The sooner the better.

If he's worth having around, though, he will stop belittling you and treating you like a servant.

i feel that i should defend him. and of course, even battered women defend their man.

he did insult me, and he really hurt my feelings, but it is not a habit of his to say things like this to me. i think that is why it is hurtful. i know that my weight is an issue for him, as far as attractiveness, but he has not ever been one to say anything. he has even told me before that he is afraid he will miss me big because it "feels so good to lay with me skin to skin (no bones)".

he tells me that i am beautiful and that he loves me. he is an absolute wonderful father. i cannot agree that in our relationship it would be better to leave. my dh makes it a point to lie in bed with our son for about 15 minutes and read or tell stories and talk about their day (sometimes i like to stand in the hall while the door is open and listen). they always play together. my son absolutely adores his dad.

in my opinion, our argument had several ingredients that are not always there, i had SEVERE pms, and i had been being a total bitch, i am being honest. he had a few beer before bed, and we are both stressed about money right now.

i feel bad for posting this now, as i realize how it may look. this is just one day among many. i'm sure some of you women out there have had your guy be a total jerk a time or two, but not all of the time, no one should have to put up with that. sometimes, i think they just say the dumbest things, without thinking about how we will take it.

anyways, i think my dh just talks. and then i take it a certain way and talk and talk and talk, and i hold grudges, and i do not easily forgive. he on the other hand, blows it off as no big deal, and starts trying to make me laugh.

i don't know, i opened this can, so i welcome all of your posts, but he's really not this ugly all of the time. we are just having a bad couple of weeks. (we have done this before about 2 years ago..weird, it was around the same time of year...huh, maybe it is the holidays).

Defend him if you must, but why hasn't he asked you to marry him? And him thinking that you don't "deserve" to be satisfied?

Whatever. You already have my .02 worth. My DH says and does stupid stuff, too, once in a while, and hurts my feelings when he does them, but he's a good man, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. So I guess what I'm STILL saying is that IF it's time to go, recognize it as such and go. If it's not, slap him upside the head and tell him to go blow himself! You'll feel better.

It sounds like emotional abuse to me, but you've already said your peace. DH would never say anything like that - in fact, he was appalled. Some people can deal with being talked to like that, some can't. I wouldn't. Everybody has different relationships, I guess.

Bandit, I was banded by Dr. Wellborn in Little Rock also. Small world.

Oh gosh, this made me laugh really hard. I'm not laughing at your problem but because I think so many women can relate to at least "part" of your problem. An old comedienne said, "You gotta give them head or some other bitch will!" I personally would never stay in a relationship where "he" didn't please me orally on a regular basis but my guy isn't perfect in other areas. I think most people will tell you to leave him but it's a lonely world out there so I can see both sides. Ask yourself a simple question; can you see yourself in the exact same spot in 5 years? If you can accept it then stay around otherwise run for the hills. Your problems are more than just physical because you don't even communicate. You don't seem to care about his hunting so why should he care about your Band? Maybe show his hobbies some interest to see if he'll come around. Meanwhile, shave your cooter and tell him to GET BUSY!

I, for one, am no prude, but I have got to say that I can't believe you posted what you did on this board. It basically gives us intimate details and very graphic ones at that about your sexual relationship with your husband, but really has nothing to do with the band or your band experience. Is there a "playground" part to this site that would maybe be more appropriate for you post.

Personally, I am really blown away by how graphic your story was.

Marieze

Okay, take or leave what I say but:

I was SHOCKED when I read that. That's the kind of crap you say around your low-class guy friends when you're obliterated in some dive bar in po-dunk town, US. Maybe you should rethink this...

What an arrogant, self-righteous ass. Seriously. Any guy who says that should get a backhand and swift kick in the rear.

On the top of reciprocation, the guy should have no problem returning the favor. Plus, what's the worst that could happen? He gets a bit more skilled? God forbid. *pun sort of intended* ha.

I'm gonna have to agree with what just about everyone else has said. Your hubby was being more than a little bit of an ass. Seems to me like he's trying to drive you away, maybe because he doesn't have the balls to end the relationship himself.

I, for one, am no prude, but I have got to say that I can't believe you posted what you did on this board. It basically gives us intimate details and very graphic ones at that about your sexual relationship with your husband, but really has nothing to do with the band or your band experience. Is there a "playground" part to this site that would maybe be more appropriate for you post.

Personally, I am really blown away by how graphic your story was.

Marieze

No offense meant, but it was clearly warned in the title that the thread was sex related. If you couldn't handle the very real possibility of some details that you think are TMI, you shouldn't have come in.

I, for one, am no prude, but I have got to say that I can't believe you posted what you did on this board. It basically gives us intimate details and very graphic ones at that about your sexual relationship with your husband, but really has nothing to do with the band or your band experience. Is there a "playground" part to this site that would maybe be more appropriate for you post.

Personally, I am really blown away by how graphic your story was.

Marieze

I actually think this is very band related as body image is very much tied up in the band and that is really what this post is really about. I agree with laurend the title warned everyone before they got any further.

Back to OP - This is a form of emotional and verbal abuse - nobody has the right to talk to you that way!! And don't get me started on what a selfish shite he appears to be!! Ask yourself could you spend the rest of your life being talked to in this way and would you be okay with your child to be in a relationship when they are older with a person who treated them in this way. Girl, kick him out of the bed - go out and enjoy your newly banded body, I am sure there are many men out there who will be more than willing to *please you* and have the time of your life - you deserve it!!!!

What an arrogant, self-righteous ass. Seriously. Any guy who says that should get a backhand and swift kick in the rear.

On the top of reciprocation, the guy should have no problem returning the favor. Plus, what's the worst that could happen? He gets a bit more skilled? God forbid. *pun sort of intended* ha.

:clap2::whoo:

Marieze, would you mind emailing me personally. I have something I want to tell you and I do not know how to send a message to just you.

OK not going to judge your relationship on this instance because I cant tell by a story on an internet forum. Just going to say it sounds like he is being a bit selfish in this story. I don't think he is intentionally doing this but now he is just used to it. Just brake him of the attitude. I don't think he intentionally does this but when he gets upset dumb shit comes out. Give him this excuse he is a guy and we say dumb hurtful shit sometimes. From what I gather from your story he is one of the guys guy kind of guy with all the hunting and stuff. So that gives him that me man you woman attitude. Just talk to him and explain yourself. I am sure he loves you or he would not be with you. Maybe he is just nervous because he thinks if you lose the weight you will leave him? My GF of 4 years (soon to be wife , not engaged yet :nervous I am in the same boat as you guys) was nervous about me losing weight. She felt I would leave her when I was thinner. After some time and a lot of talks things are better now and she is loving life. Sex is better :biggrin1: now !

i am so sorry that DH (and i dont mean 'dear') did that. he sounds incredibly selfish to 'expect' you to perform for him since he looks good. oh puhleeze.

No offense meant, but it was clearly warned in the title that the thread was sex related. If you couldn't handle the very real possibility of some details that you think are TMI, you shouldn't have come in.

you took the words out of my mouth.