Husband is stressing me out pre-op

[momof3_angels 465]

Vent warning! So, yesterday I worked my last shift at work, I have the weekend and the holiday off normally, then Tuesday I am off for another doctors appointment (unrelated). Surgery is Wednesday. I am ready. A little nervous, but mostly excited and anxious to get this done. Hubby is home for his normal day off. All he is doing is giving me crap about the unnecessary surgery and how I can lose all the weight if I just diet more and walk at least 5 miles a day. He conveniently has forgotten that I gained all the weight when I hit 40 and was doing EVERYTHING RIGHT! Including also walking EVERYWHERE. He also conveniently forgets all my failed diet and exercise attempts and how my health has been steadily going down hill with the weight gain. Or how many times he has helped to sabotage me. He is TRYING to be supportive, but he is berating and mocking me at every chance he gets. I know this is his stress talking. He is so afraid of surgery and he thinks of this as an elective/unnecessary procedure. HIS surgeries have complications. Mine are always fine thus far. I see it as a necessary procedure to help me regain my health. Anyhow... he was awful this morning. I finally got angry and nearly broke down in tears. When that happened he finally got his **** together and said he is supporting me. If he wasn't supporting me he would now have gotten time off of work to help me or drive me to/from the hospital. But that doesn't change what a jerk he is being. Just so frustrated! And of course, time feels slower now that I am so close. Need to move the clock forward. I desperately want to get past the surgery so he can stop freaking out and I can start recovering!

[PeachPerfect 13]

I don't know how you and your husband usually interact, but I'm glad you were able to tell him his berating was hurting and that his response was to apologize. You should always let him know when his words hurt you. That is not something to deal with, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you to.

There is nothing easy about this surgery. This is absolutely not the easy way out, this is life changing, and you're doing it to change your life for the better. Rooting for you!

[momof3_angels 465]

Thanks. He gets this way when he is stressed out. I have known this about him for our entire 23 year marriage. He can totally be an a*****e, but I know when to just ignore him most of the time. I just don't need this right now. This is about me, not him. And you just said it: "Not the easy way out". I think he and my daughter both think I am taking the easy way out. I am just sad to be reminded that I get more support from my co-worker who has been through this than my husband/daughter. He is trying. I know he is. And I know he will take care of me in the hospital and when I get home. But I could really use their support emotionally.

Anyhow, thanks for the encouragement!

[Cheeseburgh 3,084]

You don’t need the additional stress, I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

The surgeon in this video does a really good job explaining weight loss/gain and surgery. I learned a lot by watching it, if you think it would help ask your daughter and husband to watch it with you.

Dr Weiner metabolic

Dr. Weiner has a lot of good videos abut bariatric surgery.

Best of luck to you.

[momof3_angels 465]

4 hours ago, Cheeseburgh said:

The surgeon in this video does a really good job explaining weight loss/gain and surgery. I learned a lot by watching it, if you think it would help ask your daughter and husband to watch it with you.

Dr Weiner metabolic

Dr. Weiner has a lot of good videos abut bariatric surgery.

Thanks! It looks like I started to watch that video once before, but it lost me when it was talking about blood pressure instead of weight (not an issue for me, so I moved on). Now I watched it through... and need to find the next video lol. It is pretty good. Won't do hubby any good, but maybe my daughter.

[momof3_angels 465]

Just noticed... Dr. Weiner is from my neck of the woods!