To Tell or NOT to Tell

[Jemma23 29]

Has anyone kept your surgery a secret? I am pre-op and at this point, I don't want to have to explain WHY to everyone. I am also scared of being judged every time I eat in a social setting. What if I fail and have a regain, I can only imagine the judgment there. If you had it to do over again, would you tell people about the surgery, or not?

[LaShunn 24]

Well,well,welll.. .I decided to tell EVERYONE that I was having the gastric sleeve surgery & every single day someone ask -- how much I've loss or have smart comments like-- well if you would have exercised first, then you wouldn't have needed the surgery. Every day I want to tell someone to mind the business that pays them. Lol

I've only loss 15lbs

SW 259

CW 244

Surgery date April 25th

[Carrot64 214]

I’ve always been an open book and that certainly was the case with my surgery.. there have been a few naysayers and some great supporters. In the end I have never been one to be successful or enjoy keeping things secret.. it’s hard to keep up just like a lie and it kind of feels like lying.. I also feel that telling those around me now gave me the extra incentive to prove em all wrong . That accountability will help me I believe whole heartedly.. So, do I wish everyone thought I did it without surgery, sure, but I feel I can be an example of how surgery can work and I’m proud of my choice.. with this said , I TOTALLY understand anyone who chooses to keep it to themselves. In some way i wish I was more of a private person .. it is what it is!!!

Edited June 4, 2019 by Carrot64

[ChocoTaco 37]

I saw someone post once, "No one asked me the details about my weight gain or how I got there, so they don't need to know the details of my weight loss or how I'm getting there" LOL!

For me only my immediate family know as well as 3 close friends.

[apiane 174]

I've told my husband (obviously) and my sister. I will tell my Grandma when I get approved. That's all I'm planning to tell.

[renjenn 41]

I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want it to be the topic of all my conversations. I don't want anyone to think they have to do anything different for me because my requirements are different. And I didn't want anyone to try to talk me out of it or say derogatory things about it. It was already bad enough that people would tell me I was fat and needed to lose weight- as if I didn't know. That would have given them an excuse o bring it up.

Eventually, I had to tell my sister-in-law because we couldn't care for my mother-in-law that weekend so I thought she needed to know. When I told her she said, "I know. my husband told me. and my mother-in-law told him. " Turns out my husband had already blabbed it to his mother who can't keep a secret or even remember that something is secret. My husband just said, oh I didn't know you didn't want anyone to know.

after surgery, my M-I-L kept asking "can you eat this?" several times a day. that got old fast.

I still haven't told any of my friends except for one because we've been through a lot together.

if people ask, I say I'm seeing a nutritionist (which they seem to accept) and if they keep asking I say its similar to keto- because it sort of is.

[Jemma23 29]

LaShunn, I am not sleeved yet, but I would be tickled to death to lose 15 pounds in 2 months. Do not get down or discouraged. I have read so many posts of people that got so discouraged and then overnight lost 5-6 lbs. I have heard if you lose slower you have less risk of losing your hair, so that's a plus, lol. The main reason I don't want to tell are my mom and my kids. My mom is in very poor health.. she would discourage me from doing this and I don't want to worry her. My two older kids are both overweight and can't afford the surgery, so I want to be a good role model for them by eating healthy in hopes that they will see my progress and follow. My daughter is 21, has PCOS and Psoriatic arthritis. She tries so hard to lose weight but just hasn't been successful. I definitely don't like lying. I talked about this on my psych visit and he said, You aren't lying! You tell them you are doing it for your health. You are eating healthy, low carb and exercising which all will be the truth. But, I would also love to share this wealth of knowledge I have learned with overweight friends that would benefit greatly from the surgery, so I have mixed feelings. I already had two people yesterday at the heart clinic that asked why I was getting the surgery. I was not expecting it there for sure.

[Jemma23 29]

LOL Ren, I have only told my husband, because I need him to go with me. We shall see if he can keep it quiet....he BETTER!

[MaggieMae's 3]

Hi everyone, new here. My surgery was on 5-9-19 and I didn’t want many people to know because I got a lot of “you don’t need the surgery” so I only told a few close family & friends and my boss. But I complications during my surgery and they had to go back into emergency surgery on me and my friend that went with me told our other friends and when I got back I it seemed like everyone knew lol

[Healthy_life2 8,330]

1 hour ago, Jemma23 said:

Has anyone kept your surgery a secret? I am pre-op and at this point, I don't want to have to explain WHY to everyone. I am also scared of being judged every time I eat in a social setting. What if I fail and have a regain, I can only imagine the judgment there. If you had it to do over again, would you tell people about the surgery, or not?

Choose who you disclose your medical information with. You know who is supportive and respectful. It’s a choice to tell people that are genuinely interested. Skip telling judmental people.

Can you keep it a secret? You can’t hide rapid weight loss. People will talk behind your back, ask blunt questions and speculate surgery. Don’t invest your time trying to educate people that are negative about your choices in life. You owe no one an explanation.

After goal, conversations no longer revolve around your weight loss. It’s a fantastic feeling

[Midnightsun 129]

I am suppose to have surgery 7/8/19 I only told my husband. Maybe after surgery I will let my sister and close friends know? Idk, but I made up my mind and don’t want anyone talking me out of it. Do what you feel is best for you. Not anyone’s business about your personal doctor appts.

[VIKING 0424 1,107]

this is a personnel choice tell or not your choice i did after it was done before i told only my immediate family no one else knew not even work tell it was done

[Amelia2019 22]

So far I’ve decided not to tell I was approved twice and they were canceled because I had a seizure the week before 😞! The one person I did bring it up to said surgery is not the answer just eat better and exercise..... she doesn’t have 210 lbs to lose ☹️

[Jemma23 29]

Maggie, how do you feel about having the surgery after having complications? Any regrets? I hope all is better now.

[MaggieMae's 3]

Yes ma’am, every thing is good now. I feel fine, they took very good care of me! No regrets, I just wish they would of told me my hemoglobin was low before they did the surgery and I would of thinks them to hold off on the surgery and let me get cleared by my dr again.