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Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food Celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-

Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?

realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?

Edited by JRM2
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Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food Celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-
Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?
realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?
I just had surgery 4/22. My husband came to seminar with me and I asked him his opinion but in reality I was doing it no matter what haha. Our stats are very similar [emoji4]

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My husband supported and encouraged me throughout the whole process and helped me make the best decision.

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Yes, ultimately the decision is yours. This is YOUR body...YOUR life...YOUR health.

That said, it is really good to have your spouse on board if you can as you will need the support. WLS affects relationships (especially marriages) in many ways, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Try to get on the same team.

Good luck on your journey!

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58 minutes ago, Vivian1023 said:

I just had surgery 4/22. My husband came to seminar with me and I asked him his opinion but in reality I was doing it no matter what haha. Our stats are very similar

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1 hour ago, JRM2 said:

Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food Celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-

Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?

realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?

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My spouse didn't know enough about the WLS process in order to know about supporting the idea when it came up. Fortunately, it was not originated by me, it was by my PCP, but there was still a lot of hesitation. I actually had to play it cool for a few months until the idea gained traction.

She would ask me if I had thought about the decision and I would be like, "I"m just going to go to the nutrition sessions and learn more, you're welcome to come along" and any possible moment that I could get her there, I would always make it feel like her decision. After a few months of this, I finally saw my moment and took it. She was totally on board by then, but had I not been patient through the whole process, pardon the pun, I don't think I would have gained the support I received and still have to this day 7 weeks post-op.

I hope this helps, good luck.

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My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.

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Today was my first consult with the surgeon. My husband was very "ok" with it prior to the appointment. At the appointment the surgeon was very honest about the surgery benefits and such, and he became very supportive and involved. He wants to go to the nutritionist appointment and the fitness consult. Maybe your's needs to go to the appointment and hear from an outside person why you need the surgery?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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