Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-

Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?

realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?

Edited May 14, 20197 yr by JRM2
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Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food Celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-
Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?
realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?

I just had surgery 4/22. My husband came to seminar with me and I asked him his opinion but in reality I was doing it no matter what haha. Our stats are very similar [emoji4]

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My husband supported and encouraged me throughout the whole process and helped me make the best decision.

Yes, ultimately the decision is yours. This is YOUR body...YOUR life...YOUR health.

That said, it is really good to have your spouse on board if you can as you will need the support. WLS affects relationships (especially marriages) in many ways, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Try to get on the same team.

Good luck on your journey!

58 minutes ago, Vivian1023 said:

I just had surgery 4/22. My husband came to seminar with me and I asked him his opinion but in reality I was doing it no matter what haha. Our stats are very similar

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

1 hour ago, JRM2 said:

Going for a seminar- I’m 263 and 5’5 - I love food Celebrate with it, sad with it- food food food- I was once a runner so I know what thinner is - I’m almost 40 headed down a bad road - I get concerned when I kiss my kids goodnight that my body may fail - besides all that - My question-

Has anyone had a spouse say, we will make a decision together about weight loss surgery?

realistic isn’t the one with problem really The control of the decision?

Thank you everyone- I guess time will tell with what lies ahead- I’ve realized can’t be in healthy marriage if one’s not healthy

My spouse didn't know enough about the WLS process in order to know about supporting the idea when it came up. Fortunately, it was not originated by me, it was by my PCP, but there was still a lot of hesitation. I actually had to play it cool for a few months until the idea gained traction.

She would ask me if I had thought about the decision and I would be like, "I"m just going to go to the nutrition sessions and learn more, you're welcome to come along" and any possible moment that I could get her there, I would always make it feel like her decision. After a few months of this, I finally saw my moment and took it. She was totally on board by then, but had I not been patient through the whole process, pardon the pun, I don't think I would have gained the support I received and still have to this day 7 weeks post-op.

I hope this helps, good luck.

My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.

Today was my first consult with the surgeon. My husband was very "ok" with it prior to the appointment. At the appointment the surgeon was very honest about the surgery benefits and such, and he became very supportive and involved. He wants to go to the nutritionist appointment and the fitness consult. Maybe your's needs to go to the appointment and hear from an outside person why you need the surgery?