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help with husband



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My hubby was against it at first. Mostly because he feared the unknown and electing surgery just seemed crazy to him. He made a couple of stupid comments like just diet and exercise. I did restrain from hitting him :D

Once I started researching the lap-band and giving him all the details and stats, he started doing his own research. He was actually the one who located my doctor. By this time he was completely on board and we just needed financing.

He's not worried that I will leave him or he hasn't expressed it. I am down 3 sizes (sometimes 4 sizes) and he is appreciating the new view ;) I am only on 2 medications now that I will take for life - weight loss can't cure everything :Banane11:

Good luck to you!! {{hugs}}

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I was afraid to talk to my husband about the surgery and so I didn't discuss it with him until I had ALL the facts. I even had to pick up insurance at my job bc his wouldn't cover it. But when I told him this is what I'm going to do he was ok with it. He knew I hated being fat and he saw my family having heart attacks and other health problems so when I said this is what I'm going to do, he just shrugged his shoulders and said ok. I agree with the others who said its your body and your health but I understand you wanting his blessing.

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Nah, that's just what he says. Does he drive for you so you don't have to take the risk? Does he pump your fuel, climb all ladders, deice every step you take?

He's afraid alright, but not risks and complications. He's afraid if you step up to the plate to be a better person..he will have to as well.

Oh, people are always afraid of change.

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My husband was against me having the surgery as well only because he was a very domineering person and while I am big he can control me knowing I wont leave the house for embarrassment of my size.

however I had to do this for my health's sake as I also had family members die young with heart problems and wanted to be around for my children

Even though it was against his wishes I told him" I'm going ahead with it you can either support me or not" with this he said he was leaving and who wanted to be married to a fat slob any way ,mind you he is 30 kilos overweight.

I had my surgery on 28th November 2007 and have never felt happier or better.:)

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Yes he left and ran home to mummy.She can have him as no one else will want him with the attitude he has.

I have never felt happier and I am on my way to my healthier life losing 10.5 kilo since the Optifast diet and my surgery.

good luck every one in journey ahead

Deb

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what it is is hes afraid that if you lose the weight hell lose that control over you when it comes to maybe other men being attracted to you. and hes afraid that if you do it youll leave him for someone better. my old man did the same thing. i still went thru with it though whether it made him happy or not cause i was doing it not for that reason but for my health. hes a man. what do you expect hell get over it once he sees the results of it later on down the road. and when he sees your happy and healthy . hell accept it more. but hell eventually accept it. just tell him accept what i am doing or dont but im still doing it. dont let him be in control of you!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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