Failed EVERYTHING, need to know I'm not alone.

[polly... 70]

Has ANYONE had WLS, and failed it?

I need support, 3 years out RNY.

[GreenTealael 24,850]

27 minutes ago, Heidihoo said:

Has ANYONE had WLS, and failed it?

I need support, 3 years out RNY.

Join us here for support and motivation

Edited April 14, 2019 by GreenTealael

[FluffyChix 17,409]

[Frustr8 7,886]

Nobody is a failure and if you have made it past Surgery and are still alive after 3 years, you are still better than you might have been, being alive beats being dead and buried everytime! Hey buck up Heidihoo, you still got ne, the over 70 wouldn't give up person- ME- I started fighting to get my surgery on a Sunny August 2015 day. I was too old, Too much a surgical risk, I would never survive the surgery, I would just die on the table, one actually had someone tell me he wouldn't do it, even advise it because I would screw up his lovely Surgery Record. But I am a red-headed stubborn broad, I had had enough putdowns in my lifetime, lived so long for others to my detriment, This Was My Life, This Was My Day, walk with Me or stand to one side please, I HAVE BEEN BLOCKED ENOUGH. heard enough B.S. to fertilize an acre-and-half garden space, now let me through! If I die, no big thing, you never cared That Much for ME in the first place! And 7 months ago, Ms Frustr8 also called "Brunhilda the BullHead" by some behind my back or even to my face. received. my RnY surgery. They did warn me it might not be a textbook, pretty recovery path, because of my AGE. People usually raise their lip, put a snear on their face like "Age" is something dirty and vile. Hey I honestly don't think my continued existance is going to deplete the world's food reserves or affect the ozone layer. And like my totem animal, the bumblebee🐝who keeps flying although he is aerodynamically impossible because his wings are too short to hold up his fat little body, he just keeps flying and flying. We were going strong long before the Energizer battery bunny! Perhaps we knew no better, perhaps survival of the best? And every pound lost is a gain for ME , I started out a 28-30 Woman size, now solidly in a 20 and smaller sizes ahead! My Nurse Practitioner Valerie would be satisfied with anything below 200 pounds, said more might be straining it, my dream? 175 pounds and in a 15? Junior size. Why a Junior instead of a Missed size? Because for a Biggish girl, I am not busty! Many my weight are a D, DD or above- ME- I'm a C cup and might go down to a B before it's loss segueing into maintainable. I am truly an over- inflated sport or tomboy body, ortho who is also a sports medicine specialist says that is not logical, well I'm my case it is true. Even if you didn't set the universe on fire with weight loss, you are still 3 years older and better off!😝📝📆🍀

[polly... 70]

Good Lord, thank you. I'm gonna have to reread this just to digest it, pun intended. 🤣 Bless you for living and defying, you're an inspiration. 💜

[summerset 5,261]

2 hours ago, Heidihoo said:

Has ANYONE had WLS, and failed it?

Please ditch the thought that you "failed your WLS" immediately. WLS is not a person you can disappoint.

[Stella S 612]

To fail something means you have played. Every sports team has not won a particular play a particular game or even a particular season. Yet they are still playing. We are playing this thing called life. If you are reading this then you are breathing living and winning. Still in the game. No one medical procedure defines ones whole existence. I am not a failure because I needed a filling in the tooth or a root canal or even a crown I have had cavities that crumbled. Intern I am not a success because of a root canal or WLS. It is way more complicated than that. Now broaden your sense of who you are - you are more than just WLS person and take a long hard look at who is on your team. Do you have a supportive coach? Do you have cheerleaders who Celebrate each tiny success? Do you have a mentor or someone who’s been there done that? The sports teams practice all the time change the players all the time the coaches all the time and sometimes sit out a game or season. If your negative self talk and head trip is to nasty another player or the referee may call it. And yeah the egos are bigger and taller than the Empire State Building. Get a game plan and keep on playing. The fact that you are here says your playing.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Speaking of Sports teams: Anybody who has some time free a little prayer🙏 for my Columbus Blue Jackets. The Puck drops at 7 PM. EST. They are currently up 3 games to none over the Tampa Bay Lightning. This may just be the year we make it to the🏆 Stanley Cup! We are doing better than all our franchise history! And I am a smooth excited by the prospect. I like hockey, Late Lamented did not so I have yet to attend a game And but I can watch them on cable. They also do a lot of nice things for the Columbus Ohio community, in and Out of season.

[Danny Paul 761]

On 4/14/2019 at 10:44 AM, Heidihoo said:

I need support, 3 years out RNY.

I'm nearly 19 months out and I need support EVERY day. There isn't a day that I don't call someone just to talk and help me work through my maintenance. I go to support groups a therapist and Over Eaters Anonymous. For so many years I Failed at weight loss and I Failed at maintaining what weight I did lose. Today, I ask for and I receive the help I need. It isn't easy, I attend meetings, I call people, I meet with healthcare professionals and I ask for help. You will get support here but you will also probably need to surround yourself with others who can help you on a daily basis. Don't be afraid to seek help or ask for it, you'd be surprised at the amount of help there is to be had.

[NYJenn 1,461]

What makes you think you have “failed”?

[polly... 70]

5 hours ago, NYJenn said:

What makes you think you have “failed”?

Well, I'm 3 years out RNY. I got down from surgery weight of 335 to 265, gained back to 300, there since then. I do not follow the rules at all. My fault. I was not a good candidate for WLS, but I slipped through. My surgeon, last I saw him, was very crass and kinda cruel so I wont go back. I have to make peace with that and go back but I'm deathly afraid. In therapy working on it. I failed because I knew what I was getting into and couldn't/wouldn't go with the program. I'm in a much better place now, and am reading for the umpteenth time the Agaston South Beach Diet that my surgeon puts all his patients on. I'm quite amazed at the damage I've done and am doing to my body and heart, etc. I've started cleaning my house of toxic foods and am trying to budget a proper shopping list. It's not easy, never expected it to be. I just didn't know I'd go so far from the right direction. I'm mad at myself. But I'm learning in therapy how to turn that into good energy and productive power. It's all up to me. It's all in my hands and that horrifies the crap out of me. But the facts I'm reading about proper diet/nutrition are scaring me into compliance. I'm excited but terrified to jump back on board. I've forgotten a lot. I hope this all makes sense.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Oh darlin' it makes all the sense in the world. One of my heros, Well properly a heroine, reminded me when I admired things about her smoother weight journey , She has feet of clay just cause she's human too. Some of the things you can rectify, some you can't. But be glad you recognised some of the things you can fix. Why am I awake at 1:31AM? Because I woke up and made a snack for my son " Tomkitten" so named because I have Gmail that alluded to cats. I made bean Soup with Turkey Ham in it earlier today. He announced it was edible but not HIS thing. Made me feel guilty so I went on strike for a few hours, then finally the guilt got to me. Made him small portion hash browns, sausage and eggs. See I still am not to the point we eat the same diet, the mashed up Beans and soup broth satisfied me enough. Last time I tried eggs, even lightly scrambled, they came back up. Potatoes except for in thinner potato soup, don't do those anymore. So sometimes I growl I'm running a short order low- grade coffee Shoppe around here.
It isn't that you didn't know,better, just got complacent and slid back into bad ways. Surgeons can give us our surgeries, we have to make them work. And like any addict, And that is what we all were, food Addicts, it is so so easy to go back to where we once were.
So decide to now do better this night or day, depending on whichever it is for you. Can you fix it all? Gee that remains to be seen, doesn't it? All you can is your own personal best yours may differ from mine, but you know what I mean.
And remember we're still here for you, no matter what!, most of us have walked that path, one way or another. So buck up, buckaroo, do all you can to rectify your mess you are yourself into, sadder but wiser now.
Once 2;30 comes I can take my bedtime meds as well as making sure Tomkitten has his. Some you can't take for an hour after eating, and maybe I'll take my liquid Calcium, hard to space between Vitamins and Iron, mostly everything I take in except Water has some Vitamin content.. But I make it through, so will,you too. Ta Ta#

[Danny Paul 761]

On 4/22/2019 at 2:17 AM, Frustr8 said:

Surgeons can give us our surgeries, we have to make them work. And like any addict, And that is what we all were, food Addicts, it is so so easy to go back to where we once were.

So true.

[polly... 70]

On 4/22/2019 at 2:17 AM, Frustr8 said:

Oh darlin' it makes all the sense in the world. One of my heros, Well properly a heroine, reminded me when I admired things about her smoother weight journey , She has feet of clay just cause she's human too. Some of the things you can rectify, some you can't. But be glad you recognised some of the things you can fix. Why am I awake at 1:31AM? Because I woke up and made a snack for my son " Tomkitten" so named because I have Gmail that alluded to cats. I made bean Soup with Turkey Ham in it earlier today. He announced it was edible but not HIS thing. Made me feel guilty so I went on strike for a few hours, then finally the guilt got to me. Made him small portion hash browns, sausage and eggs. See I still am not to the point we eat the same diet, the mashed up Beans and Soup broth satisfied me enough. Last time I tried eggs, even lightly scrambled, they came back up. Potatoes except for in thinner potato soup, don't do those anymore. So sometimes I growl I'm running a short order low- grade coffee Shoppe around here.
It isn't that you didn't know,better, just got complacent and slid back into bad ways. Surgeons can give us our surgeries, we have to make them work. And like any addict, And that is what we all were, food Addicts, it is so so easy to go back to where we once were.
So decide to now do better this night or day, depending on whichever it is for you. Can you fix it all? Gee that remains to be seen, doesn't it? All you can is your own personal best yours may differ from mine, but you know what I mean.
And remember we're still here for you, no matter what!, most of us have walked that path, one way or another. So buck up, buckaroo, do all you can to rectify your mess you are yourself into, sadder but wiser now.
Once 2;30 comes I can take my bedtime meds as well as making sure Tomkitten has his. Some you can't take for an hour after eating, and maybe I'll take my liquid Calcium, hard to space between Vitamins and Iron, mostly everything I take in except Water has some Vitamin content.. But I make it through, so will,you too. Ta Ta#

Frustr8, thank you so much for your share! I dont know why "it" makes sense, maybe I do. IDK. I so deeply believed I could be compliant. With WLS I wanted to be an all or nothing girl. Seems I defied myself and went "nothing". Im mad at myself because I know very well WLS as well as reality is full of greys. I wanted to be the Conqueror of food addiction, wls, etc. Whrn I couldn't be perfect I got mad and gave up. I still battle with that thinking. I imagine many of us do. I've been and and am still in a VERY intense, long time "relationship " with the best therapist on Earth. Unfortunately I've had to focus on other iminant issues and had little time and/or desire to truly attack the food addiction and other traumas related to it. I'm very, very complicated, 🤣🤣 lol. But I've overcome A LOT so that is why I chose now to "go there". So....I'm there, in the here and now.

My husband is newly diabetic so he has to eat properly/well now to so were doing it together. I feel for you when you mentioned feeding Tomkitten! It was SO hard when hubby, who used to be a chef, would make s@#t food all the time. I cant cook for squat, and currently cant stand or walk, so he does the cooking. Luckily hes a good boy with his food choices and cooking techniques. ❤ So were doing it Together! I know I am very blessed in this regard, many are not.

Frustr8, when was your surgery, and how well are you doing now? It certainly sounds like you are doing your best. Are you having a hard time keeping food down? A soup you could try is homemade egg drop. Easy peasy! I do know that Soups, when eaten in certain patterns, is a slider food. I tend to stay away from those unless I balance it with the rest of my food. See? I'm trying. Just not enough for my taste. Get it? Taste? LOL.

One last thing in this novel. I cannot find, hard as I may try, seem to find anyone who got WLS and failed to follow the rules and lost very little weight. Especially years out. I've seen people who slid backwards and gained some weight, but they all lost most of their weight and got close to or at their target weight. It would make me feel a whole lot better if I knew I wasn't the only one. Not better for that person, just better knowing I'm not alone in my specific situation. I need to hear more stories like mine, it would help me not to punish myself so much knowing I'm not alone.

Thank you very, very much for conversing with me, you've made me feel that much better. Really. ❤

[Frustr8 7,886]

oh you're not the only one, look at some of the other threads. There's one fairly recent about being years out and weight is starting to creep back in. Foget the exact title , just saw it a moment ago.