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Sorry, the sex is bad!



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So, after a seven month dry spell, I decided its time for me to date. I'm 40 pounds skinnier, feelin' good, why not try!? Right?

I met a guy, we dated for about 5-6 weeks, and started having sex around week 4. Guess what, he broke up with me because he said we were not sexually compatable. He would not give details, but I can tell you that I did a hell of a lot more FOR HIM in bed than he did for me, if you catch my drift...?

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that its because I am a 200 pound woman. He told me that he is use to size 2, 3, 4 women. I am not that.

Ya know, after losing 40 pounds, going through surgery to lose weight and then putting myself out there... I am so frustrated!

I am still dealing with the fat issues... I have 50 more pounds to lose. Am I every gonna get over it? Or what????

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Girlie- you should just be happy that one did leave. He doesn't sound like someone you want to be with anyways. You want someone that loves you for you and that can resipricate the attention if you know what I mean. :biggrin1:

Don't let this stop you from dating. Get back out there and find you a great guy who treats you like the queen you are!

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Definitely sounds like HE has a problem, not you. Do NOT get discouraged!!

I still have about 90lbs to lose.. and my husband says the sex is better already. My tummy isn't in the way so much. If you have 50lbs more to lose, you're ahead of the game. Now time to find the right man ;D

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Rule one: You never date, or sex anyone that has never dated a big woman before(try not to be their experiment)

..besides we have the same parts a size 2 have,...ours are just in 3D!

Rule two: (most important) Love and be happy with the person you are..sometimes it shows in every little thing we do...

Rule three: Screw him..If you had to do A LOT for him..without him giving it back ten-fold, then he is selfish...Your satisfaction should have been priority number 1!

Rule four: Never give your all or try so hard the first few times...ration it out a little...:omg:

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SSDiva ~ I love the part about us being in 3D! That is so great!!!!!! I'm barrowing that one!

Thx to all of you for responding to this post. It's so frustrating... He didn't have a problem dating a 'big' girl, but sex was a different story I guess. And I guess he wasn't willing to wait around for the other fifty pounds to drop either.

You're right, I'm glad he's gone... better sooner than later too.

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Aww I'm so sorry he did that to you. He's a Shallow Hal for sure, what a jerk. What ever you do, don't let that ass destroy your efforts and your selfesteem.

You will get over it (fat issue), as soon as you meet a guy who loves you for YOU, fat, thin, what ever...and you will meet him. Don't give up and remember, you too can be picky :)

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So, after a seven month dry spell, I decided its time for me to date. I'm 40 pounds skinnier, feelin' good, why not try!? Right?

I met a guy, we dated for about 5-6 weeks, and started having sex around week 4. Guess what, he broke up with me because he said we were not sexually compatable. He would not give details, but I can tell you that I did a hell of a lot more FOR HIM in bed than he did for me, if you catch my drift...?

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that its because I am a 200 pound woman. He told me that he is use to size 2, 3, 4 women. I am not that.

Ya know, after losing 40 pounds, going through surgery to lose weight and then putting myself out there... I am so frustrated!

I am still dealing with the fat issues... I have 50 more pounds to lose. Am I every gonna get over it? Or what????

Dear strong and amazing woman~ This isn't about you it's about him. The guy has issues. What? he could not see you were no size 2 by looking at you? Did he have to actually strip down, get naked, slide between the sheets with you just to make sure???? It's so disappointing to click with someone only to find when you finally get down to it they are lousy lovers.

I'm guessing like most of us you were reflecting upon a really great memory of better times in the sack that made you yearn for that once again...atleast I've learned that about me... and I learned too that sex starts before the act. A great guy will sex you up long before you connect.

There are better times on the horizon. Chalk this one up to lesson learned.

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There are so many jerks out there. Don't let any of them make you feel bad about yourself. You are a beautiful woman and you have come so far to let one asshole bring you down. As much as it hurts to be treated that way, you need to be positive and move on -- the only men worth feeling sad about are the good ones. This guy clearly wasn't. Sending you a virtual hug.:)

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hmm where shall i start he sounds like a total dickhead :) and a lot more things [but if i type them i would get thrown out] hold your head up high girlfriend and get back out there and have fun dont let this put you off dating :kiss2::)

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what the hell!! sex is like pizza, even when its bad it still pretty good. This guy has problems...

Derick???lol!! did you really SAY that!!! you are so funny..

guys are assholes..thats all i have to say

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There are men that like skinny gals and men called "chubby chasers" that like only fat ones. The DJs on a rock station were admitting they've had the best sex ever with chubby girls but only in secret since they were embarassed to be seen in public with a fat girl. They believe big girls are better in bed than skinny women due to our "desperation". Avoid all these assholes & you'll eventually meet a guy who'll chase you around naked no matter how much you weigh and love every minute of it.

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Did I meantion he isn't skinny? 5'11" 215lbs. Because he plays soccer, he thinks he's physically fit. I'm getting over him slowly, but surely.... thx...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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