Are you sure you want to do this?

[Everythinganna 232]

I am 5 feet tall and low BMI. I have chronic back pain and need a breast reduction. (but hey -That’s between you and I. Oh, And my doctor).

When I was admitted into the hospital on Wednesday, the nurse started conversing with me. First she had me weigh on a scale and I was surprised to have lost 9 pounds on the pre-op diet. I made a remark about how much weight I had lost. That really opened up the gates. She asked me if I was sure I wanted to do the surgery (As I was standing there in a yellow backless hospital gown. AND $10,000 poorer than I was a month ago). Then she went on to say that if I could lose 10 pounds that easily maybe I should reconsider.

Just wondering how you would have responded to this situation. It caught me off guard and I eventually starting disclosing all the health issues I had and reasons I was doing it. I should NOT feel Iike should need to do that (I didn’t need her validation) and I don’t know why I did.

Did I just become a victim of “low BMI discrimination”? Sounds silly but maybe it’s a thing?!?

Am I not entitled to have a surgical procedure that my doctor and I have decided would be the best thing to improve my overall health? I expected questions from friends and family (though they were actually all supportive) but not a professional.

Has this ever happened to anyone?

What would you have done? Any good comebacks?

Edited February 23 by Everythinganna

[Hop_Scotch 617]

Aside from telling her that it was none of her business...I may have said that WLS is a last resort option, and if I had have been able to lose weight and successfully maintained the weight loss without WLS I wouldn't be here.

The nurse has no right to ask such questions, I would inform the hospital of the unprofessionalism of the nurse. She shouldn't be second guessing patients or their doctors.

[SusieQ2019 562]

I would have said, thank you for your input but my medical decision is made between me and my doctor and we both know what is best for me.

[Boldilocks 286]

I probably wouldn;t have said much as I avoid confrontation like the plague - but would have felt plenty.

Was she a nurse affiliated with your surgeon's office, or does she work in the bariatric ward at the hospital? I'm hoping that maybe she was a general ward nurse and just really doesn't get it. Patients lose weight on the pre-op diet because they have a clear goal in sight, and know that it is very short term. It is rather idiotic to be surprised at someone who has lost weight on an extremely low calorie diet. Duh. But it could not be sustained in any viable or healthy way.

I was considered low BMI for this surgery too - I just about squeaked through qualification with my co-morbidities. Yes, I did get people who were surprised at what I was doing and told me that I didn't need it. Oh, but I really did. 20 years of health problems that started as low-key but became harder to ignore with every passing year dictated that I do this now, or do it later when I am even heavier and more at risk. It really isn't up to a nurse to be gossipy and nosy about your health situation and the private battles you have fought. Hugs to you.

[Cher in NYC 21]

That was very unprofessional of the nurse. That has not happened to me, but if it did, I would respond that I can easily lose 10 pounds in a week and I have done it many times before. The problem is that next month I will be up 25 pounds. Every non-surgical weight loss endeavor has yielded a significant net gain which is why I'm resorting to surgical intervention.

[wjgo 253]

Stay the course

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[Stella84 29]

Sadly this same thing happened to me at the same hospital. I was also low BMI. The intake nurse did say something about my “Low” weight. I was annoyed but shrugged it off, BUT THEN....the Anesthesiologist came and and rudely asked me why I was doing the surgery with such a low BMI...I stuttered, lapband..complication..unfill...rapid weight regain etc. but yes NOT his business especially not 5 minutes before major surgery.
It gets worse. He then starts lecturing me and tells me the success is up here (touching my head!) and not here (touching my stomach!)
Now I was angry. But what to do? Ask for another anesthesiologist? Walk out?
Luckily? The surgeon came in moments later and we went off to surgery.

I made a formal complaint to the hospital.

[Frustr8 7,677]

As well you should, you know whether it will be of benefit to you now and in the future, I'm sure you did your preparation , studied the different alternatives, spoke at length to your surgeon about this procedure . You were relaxed and ready and then this person tried to mind your business. I'm sure you didn't request her interferance, did you? And your BMI is between God, your surgeon and YOU, and really should not be Her business. JHer job should have been to help you with your final preparations and that's All.

[Everythinganna 232]

On 6/2/2019 at 8:23 PM, Stella84 said:

Sadly this same thing happened to me at the same hospital. I was also low BMI. The intake nurse did say something about my “Low” weight. I was annoyed but shrugged it off, BUT THEN....the Anesthesiologist came and and rudely asked me why I was doing the surgery with such a low BMI...I stuttered, lapband..complication..unfill...rapid weight regain etc. but yes NOT his business especially not 5 minutes before major surgery.
It gets worse. He then starts lecturing me and tells me the success is up here (touching my head!) and not here (touching my stomach!)
Now I was angry. But what to do? Ask for another anesthesiologist? Walk out?
Luckily? The surgeon came in moments later and we went off to surgery.

I made a formal complaint to the hospital.

SAME GUY!!! Has to be - he lectured me too! Said something about long term success... I found it a little irritating but I was nervous about the surgery so I blew it off. I was wondering why an anesthesiologist would even care/be involved with discussing my weight. Not his department. When was your surgery? Maybe he had already been in trouble by the time I was in.

[Krimsonbutterflies 135]

On 2/22/2019 at 9:37 PM, Boldilocks said:

I probably wouldn;t have said much as I avoid confrontation like the plague - but would have felt plenty.

Was she a nurse affiliated with your surgeon's office, or does she work in the bariatric ward at the hospital? I'm hoping that maybe she was a general ward nurse and just really doesn't get it. Patients lose weight on the pre-op diet because they have a clear goal in sight, and know that it is very short term. It is rather idiotic to be surprised at someone who has lost weight on an extremely low calorie diet. Duh. But it could not be sustained in any viable or healthy way.

I was considered low BMI for this surgery too - I just about squeaked through qualification with my co-morbidities. Yes, I did get people who were surprised at what I was doing and told me that I didn't need it. Oh, but I really did. 20 years of health problems that started as low-key but became harder to ignore with every passing year dictated that I do this now, or do it later when I am even heavier and more at risk. It really isn't up to a nurse to be gossipy and nosy about your health situation and the private battles you have fought. Hugs to you.

Perfectly spoken...that weight loss can not be sustained long term in a healthy manner. She was beyond unprofessional and a liability to her employer, the patient prior to surgery and their own career.

[Akeem 36]

She said that when you were drinking liquid before? She should lose her job.

[Frustr8 7,677]

I am not a mean and nasty person, but in her case, I would make an exception! I am sure all the nurses now active on Bariatric. Pal are ashamed she was a blot on a normally stellar profession. I know I would be, like my assesment " Did you find yourself missing a nose? If so I just found it, it was located right in the middle of My Business!"

[debra102364 146]

I am 5 feet tall and low BMI. I have chronic back pain and need a breast reduction. (but hey -That’s between you and I. Oh, And my doctor).
When I was admitted into the hospital on Wednesday, the nurse started conversing with me. First she had me weigh on a scale and I was surprised to have lost 9 pounds on the pre-op diet. I made a remark about how much weight I had lost. That really opened up the gates. She asked me if I was sure I wanted to do the surgery (As I was standing there in a yellow backless hospital gown. AND $10,000 poorer than I was a month ago). Then she went on to say that if I could lose 10 pounds that easily maybe I should reconsider.
Just wondering how you would have responded to this situation. It caught me off guard and I eventually starting disclosing all the health issues I had and reasons I was doing it. I should NOT feel Iike should need to do that (I didn’t need her validation) and I don’t know why I did.
Did I just become a victim of “low BMI discrimination”? Sounds silly but maybe it’s a thing?!?
Am I not entitled to have a surgical procedure that my doctor and I have decided would be the best thing to improve my overall health? I expected questions from friends and family (though they were actually all supportive) but not a professional.
Has this ever happened to anyone?
What would you have done? Any good comebacks?

You would think they would encourage it, knowing it is money in the doctors hand. I would had to say. I may not be as other pat9 you might see but my health is at stake and I am excited that I lost 10 and if I could lose weight on my own I would have already accomplished that. I think if the Surgeon knew she would be fired.

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[Coleslaw 22]

The same thing happened to me. I went in for my EGD about a month before the surgery and the anesthesiologist came in, introduced herself, looked at my chart and said, "You're too skinny for this surgery!" I was a 36 BMI with one co-morbidity.

I was already super stressed out about the EGD (but not the surgery itself). A childhood friend of mine had an EGD prior to WLS three years ago, something went horribly wrong and she lost oxygen for 6+ minutes. She is now in a persistent vegetative state. I told my surgeon and the nurses about stress as a result of this story, and they were very comforting and supportive. Then in walks the anesthesiologist...!

I was pissed, but didn't feel like I was in a position to complain at that moment, since the procedure was starting in 5 mins. But after the fact, I told my surgeon about it. He was truly shocked and apologetic, and promised to say something to her directly. I did not follow up with him, but now I plan to when I see him for my 6-week post-op visit.

[KarenLR75 368]

On 6/8/2019 at 6:35 PM, Frustr8 said:

Did you find yourself missing a nose? If so I just found it, it was located right in the middle of My Business!"

Oh Frustr8, was sitting here mopey with a bad headache...and you just had my whole face light up with a smile...I have never heard it stated that way before but I LOVE IT!! LOL..thank you so much!!