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Surgery In 2.5 Weeks and I Haven't Told Husband Yet...



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Do what’s best for your health & happiness, good luck during surgery & recovery. Once weight starts coming off your happiness will start to return, we if us have been there this surgery sounds like what you need do go for it & im praying your spouse understands it’s about you & your future healthy life , being that he’s so much older just tell him not only did you make this decision for you but for your children’s future. At his age anything is possible & your children need a healthy parent around & if he doesn’t see it that way maybe he needs counseling on several levels... keep us posted

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Hey Girl, I've read your story and fully understand. My husband is similar in that he would be scared of something happening to me. So we would have a huge argument, and I'd go anyway feeling bad. However, my advice, not that you asked. Do Not tell him. I know the letter came and all that, he cant stop that part of it, but you should not go into surgery after a huge confrontation with him. Do yourself a favor and go through the surgery with happy thoughts.
My vsg date is April 30, 2019. I will not be telling my husband for just that reason. No arguments, pleasant procedure. It's all about Me! I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

Sent from my LM-X210(G) using BariatricPal mobile app

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Proud of you regardless. You made this decision for you, and only you! You seem strong, and can manage. When the weight starts falling off, your confidence will be sky high and you will be on a high.

Thinking of you!

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Just wanted to update:

It's the night before - still haven't told him.

I might try before I go to bed, but if I don't my plan is all in place.

I printed out a whole packet for him - a letter from me with my reasons for doing it and not telling him, a NY Times article stating all the health benefits, an article from the American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric surgery citing the safety statistics, a blog article from someone about the process of deciding to get it and how we want family members to react, a graphic showing all the health benefits, and a short article about this surgery and its benefits for PCOS specifically.

I will leave the packert for him to see when he gets home from work tomorrow, and I will write a text beforehand to him, and schedule it to send during surgery to briefly say I'm there, what I had done, could he read the stuff I left him and bring the kids to see me.

The kids are ready to kick up a stink if he won't bring them. The eldest says she's going to tell him that she'll have to see the school counsellor about it because she's so upset, and tell her that her dad won't take her to see her mum in hospital, LOL. I should clarify - my husband is a therapist himself (I know, I know - huge LOL), so he hates the idea of them talking to other therapists and making him look bad.

My best friend messaged me yesterday and told me that she has taken the day off work and would be here at 5.30am to take me to the hospital. I am very blessed in my friends and my kids.

I'm a bag of nerves now. Have my bag all packed and am about to take a shower.

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Just wanted to update:
It's the night before - still haven't told him.
I might try before I go to bed, but if I don't my plan is all in place.
I printed out a whole packet for him - a letter from me with my reasons for doing it and not telling him, a NY Times article stating all the health benefits, an article from the American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric surgery citing the safety statistics, a blog article from someone about the process of deciding to get it and how we want family members to react, a graphic showing all the health benefits, and a short article about this surgery and its benefits for PCOS specifically.
I will leave the packert for him to see when he gets home from work tomorrow, and I will write a text beforehand to him, and schedule it to send during surgery to briefly say I'm there, what I had done, could he read the stuff I left him and bring the kids to see me.
The kids are ready to kick up a stink if he won't bring them. The eldest says she's going to tell him that she'll have to see the school counsellor about it because she's so upset, and tell her that her dad won't take her to see her mum in hospital, LOL. I should clarify - my husband is a therapist himself (I know, I know - huge LOL), so he hates the idea of them talking to other therapists and making him look bad.
My best friend messaged me yesterday and told me that she has taken the day off work and would be here at 5.30am to take me to the hospital. I am very blessed in my friends and my kids.
I'm a bag of nerves now. Have my bag all packed and am about to take a shower.
You will be fine. He will too. I wish you the best. I'm looking forward to hearing form you when you return. Happy Surgery Day!

Sent from my LM-X210(G) using BariatricPal mobile app

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Good luck tomorrow, it’s what’s best for your long term health & children but do it for you mainly.im glad ur friend is helping you. Also hoping your husband doesn’t work at same hospital & try stopping surgery..everything will work out & get surgery done & within several days you’ll notice a difference..

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Oh my God, I don't know you and I want to be your best friend. I want to drive to NY and bring you home!!

I remember 10 years ago getting up the nerve to tell my husband I wanted a lap band. It was terrifying and I had none of the relationship issues y'all have.

Please post often and let us know how you are doing, and if there's anything I can do to help.

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Prayers for you today.

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Thank you all so much. I feel very supported here.

Am at the hospital now - just getting ready to do my IV.

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Congrats on being on the losers bench.

Sent from my SM-G965U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Prayers for you today! Keep us updated!

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Prayers for you today. YOU GOT THIS!

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