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I just stayed with very good friends for ten days (because we have already sold our house in preparation for our move to Australia). The wife basically harangued me non-stop for the entire ten days about the fact that I'm getting way too thin and am endangering my health, that I'm on a starvation diet and not eating enough to "sustain life" (her words), that I'm too weak to be able to live a normal life (completely untrue--I'm more active than ever), etc. She started monitoring my food intake and brought me food throughout the day that I didn't want or need. It got so bad that I left their home and moved into a hotel. Nobody has attacked me like this since my surgery. I'm in shock and suspect the friendship can't be repaired. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

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52 minutes ago, Recidivist said:

I just stayed with very good friends for ten days (because we have already sold our house in preparation for our move to Australia). The wife basically harangued me non-stop for the entire ten days about the fact that I'm getting way too thin and am endangering my health, that I'm on a starvation diet and not eating enough to "sustain life" (her words), that I'm too weak to be able to live a normal life (completely untrue--I'm more active than ever), etc. She started monitoring my food intake and brought me food throughout the day that I didn't want or need. It got so bad that I left their home and moved into a hotel. Nobody has attacked me like this since my surgery. I'm in shock and suspect the friendship can't be repaired. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

WOW! That’s extreme behavior! I’ve had comments, but nothing like that. I’m sorry but you “friend” doesn’t seem to be very considerate- that’s downright RUDE. Good for you going to the hotel! What’s this persons deal???

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On 08/06/2019 at 19:38, Recidivist said:



I just stayed with very good friends for ten days (because we have already sold our house in preparation for our move to Australia). The wife basically harangued me non-stop for the entire ten days about the fact that I'm getting way too thin and am endangering my health, that I'm on a starvation diet and not eating enough to "sustain life" (her words), that I'm too weak to be able to live a normal life (completely untrue--I'm more active than ever), etc. She started monitoring my food intake and brought me food throughout the day that I didn't want or need. It got so bad that I left their home and moved into a hotel. Nobody has attacked me like this since my surgery. I'm in shock and suspect the friendship can't be repaired. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?


Very odd. I can’t really say much without knowing more background, but it sounds as if the wife has some serious control issues.
Secondly, she could sure use some dang education on nutrition and fitness before spouting wrong advice to others.
Jeez, not only was she rude, she was wrong.

As time goes by, I’m thinking all of us are going to experience this kind of thing (although maybe not quite as dramatically as your friends wife voiced it)

Just yesterday morning I went in for a haircut. It had been since the end of May since my last one any my stylist is one of my besties.
I’ve known her since 1999, but here’s the deal..... I’ve been obese/morbidly obese the whole time she’s known me.
One would think that since she had done my color in May, that my appearance now wouldn’t be as shocking, but apparently it was.
When I showed up yesterday she took one look at me and congratulated me for being “finished”

Um........ nope! I’m still 8-10 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant with my daughter (the main catalyst for my metabolic syndrome) and 30-35 pounds heavier than when I graduated college.
Okay, so I’m not saying that hitting 135 pounds and staying there is feasible, but sitting here at 174, I know I have a LOT of weight that can still be lost.

When I told her thanks for the compliments, but I’m still a few months from being done, she started lecturing me on how I didn’t need to try to lose all my curves.
Lol, I explained that I’m sure I’ll still have curves even when I’m a normal weight and that I was actually still “overweight” according to BMI charts.

For the record, my friend is 5’1” and has probably never weighed over 110 pounds ever in her life—she barely even gained weight when she was pregnant. She means well, but I think it’s a bit scary to see someone who you’ve only ever known as extremely overweight suddenly NOT overweight.
So many times, we equate that with poor health

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On ‎8‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 8:38 PM, Recidivist said:

I just stayed with very good friends for ten days (because we have already sold our house in preparation for our move to Australia). The wife basically harangued me non-stop for the entire ten days about the fact that I'm getting way too thin and am endangering my health, that I'm on a starvation diet and not eating enough to "sustain life" (her words), that I'm too weak to be able to live a normal life (completely untrue--I'm more active than ever), etc. She started monitoring my food intake and brought me food throughout the day that I didn't want or need. It got so bad that I left their home and moved into a hotel. Nobody has attacked me like this since my surgery. I'm in shock and suspect the friendship can't be repaired. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Wow. That is crazy. I am sorry you are going thru this. I have had coworkers (that don't know about surgery) say I needed to eat more carbs etc.

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On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 8:31 AM, Everythinganna said:

Well congratulations to everybody! On the progress!!

Interesting comment about picking up weight equivalent to your lost body fat. I am now 50 pounds down and couldn’t imagine picking it up. I am actually forbidden by my doctor to lift - and to think, I was carrying around that much weight. My hip pain is gone in my ankle pain- GONE. The epidurals I’ve been getting on my back for working and I feel good for the first time since the accident that started all this. This is the first morning I have not woken up and taken an opioid to get started.

My motivation for doing this was primarily related to aches and pains and back pains I was having. So while I got “skinny” a little faster, the real goal - pain relief, just hit!!!

I will say I would categorize myself as “skinny fat” now. I’m 5’-0” tall and clocking in around 110-111. I did not work out during my losing streak and now I feel like I have lost a lot of muscle mass. My husband says my legs are getting too skinny! (He likes muscular legs on women) My thighs don’t even touch when I walk now! I’m going to add some weight training to try to get some muscle tone going. I’m also been working hard on Vitamins, Calcium and Water. Time to fine tune my “sexy” new bod! Haha!

CFF77564-158A-4DEA-B179-1907EC6EE8CB.jpeg

I am curious since we are similar heights and surgery dates. Has your weight loss stalled or slowed yet? I started at 195 and am now 133. Increased calories to 1000 but still losing 2-3#/week. You look great by the way.

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13 hours ago, 2Bsmaller18 said:

Wow. That is crazy. I am sorry you are going thru this. I have had coworkers (that don't know about surgery) say I needed to eat more carbs etc.

Did she know you had surgery? Either way, I am shocked that a friend would act this way. No one should force food on another person. Sorry you had to endure this.

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21 minutes ago, Gottajustdoit said:

Did she know you had surgery? Either way, I am shocked that a friend would act this way. No one should force food on another person. Sorry you had to endure this.

Yes, she knew I had surgery, and had originally thought it was a very good idea. I don't know where things changed, but I'm staying away from her.

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08/09/2019 10:07 PM, Recidivist said:





Yes, she knew I had surgery, and had originally thought it was a very good idea. I don't know where things changed, but I'm staying away from her.


Very sound plan, IMO.

Hope all of us February peeps are doing well as we all transition from newbies to Sophmores.

Congrats to all of us for hitting 6 months PO!!!!

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On 8/9/2019 at 9:17 AM, 2Bsmaller18 said:

I am curious since we are similar heights and surgery dates. Has your weight loss stalled or slowed yet? I started at 195 and am now 133. Increased calories to 1000 but still losing 2-3#/week. You look great by the way.

If you are losing 2 to 3 pounds a week you are definitely losing much much quicker than I am. I may be losing a half a pound a week some weeks nothing some weeks 1 pound. The last time I weighed I was at 109 but yesterday I weighed 112. Hoping it was a scale misread because the batteries fell out of the scale and for some reason it always reads high when I change the batteries.... Either way I’m cool with 100, 109, 112. I’m happy with the way I look right now. I guess I could continue to lose which would be OK too. I believe my BMI is 21 right now.

Oh and I guess I’m a late bloomer because my hair is falling out falling out falling out now. I am scared to wash it or touch it. No visible bald spots just thinning all over.

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OK just kidding scale just read 113. I really don’t want to gain any more than that! I feel my period coming on so hopefully that is where that is coming from. Probably need to tighten up on the eating regime at this point. I am just eating haphazardly.... The restriction has been so great that I have struggled to eat at times. I also seem to be dehydrated.

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I guess my last comment is this. In addition to all the other stuff you go through with weight loss surgery I am on a pretty heavy diet of pills from a back injury I sustained. So I take opioids, muscle relaxers and various other non-NSAID pills. They upset my stomach and give me nausea further reducing my will or interest in eating. I think some of the weight loss I have experience as a result of the pills I’ve taken. It has been a very rough experience dealing with both pain, headaches, and healing from the weight-loss surgery.

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I go to costco about once a month and I usually grab some Snacks. These are their prepared meal items. If you avoid the corn tortillas this is an awesome little go to. I also grab the shrimp salad as is one of my favorites. Low carb high Protein choices !

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Thanks for the food recommendations! I have surely come across a big change in what I can eat and tolerate at the 6-month post-surgery point. I just got back from a wonderful vacation in the mountains of Wyoming and Montana and even though I was ECSTATIC that I had more energy to do things like hiking and whitewater rafting, I also seemed to have much more energy to eat! My biggest downfall was ice cream. I always enjoyed going out for ice cream during the summer and realized I can eat a baby cone with no issues. In fact, at this point I'm wondering if dumping syndrome is still possible. Have any of you suffered dumping syndrome after eating high-fat or sweet foods at this point in our journey? I have not had any problems I maintained my same weight while on vacation, so disappointed I did not lose anything despite the athletic nature of the trip, but not surprised given the four or five ice cream splurges. Also, I've had some apple pie! I never liked pie before but now if you put a piece near me I want it. I was hoping my sweet tooth would be gone (given my love for salty foods), but it is has returned. Thankfully, my portions are still small, but my cravings are not. Are any of you also experiencing this at the 6-month point? Am I just adjusting to eating less or do I need to need to buckle down and stop eating sweets every now and then? What are you all thinking/feeling about this?

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1 hour ago, Gottajustdoit said:

Thanks for the food recommendations! I have surely come across a big change in what I can eat and tolerate at the 6-month post-surgery point. I just got back from a wonderful vacation in the mountains of Wyoming and Montana and even though I was ECSTATIC that I had more energy to do things like hiking and whitewater rafting, I also seemed to have much more energy to eat! My biggest downfall was ice cream. I always enjoyed going out for ice cream during the summer and realized I can eat a baby cone with no issues. In fact, at this point I'm wondering if dumping syndrome is still possible. Have any of you suffered dumping syndrome after eating high-fat or sweet foods at this point in our journey? I have not had any problems I maintained my same weight while on vacation, so disappointed I did not lose anything despite the athletic nature of the trip, but not surprised given the four or five ice cream splurges. Also, I've had some apple pie! I never liked pie before but now if you put a piece near me I want it. I was hoping my sweet tooth would be gone (given my love for salty foods), but it is has returned. Thankfully, my portions are still small, but my cravings are not. Are any of you also experiencing this at the 6-month point? Am I just adjusting to eating less or do I need to need to buckle down and stop eating sweets every now and then? What are you all thinking/feeling about this?

I had dumping twice early on. Once from eating refried Beans to quickly. The other was from taking a quick gulp of flavored MOM which must of had sugars in the flavoring. Ever since I have been too scared to try sweets. I have had a few crackers or low carb crackers a few times, or one regular chip etc. but that's maybe 1-2x week. I have eaten literally 1 piece of Pasta a few times to check if it was done when I was cooking it but otherwise I am way to scared to try.

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I am guessing a lot of us are dealing with Hair loss at this point. It happened to me in June suddenly and I don't think it has slowed done at all yet. However I noticed something weird today. I have gray roots and normally color my hair every 4-5 weeks. I colored my hair literally 2 1/2 weeks ago and suddenly I have a ton of half inch roots all over. So on closer inspection I noticed that I have a ton of baby hairs growing too. I think my hair may be growing in quicker now and that the roots are showing so much sooner. I am trying to focus on that instead of freaking out about the clump on the shower floor or in my brush. I also tried Toppik and like it better than sprays I have tried before. I have Biotin in my Multivitamin that I have been taking form day 1 and started using Nioxin Shampoo a few weeks ago. Maybe it is helping.

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