In general, I have been very honest with people about my surgery. I didn't broadcast it on social media but if anyone asked me, I answered truthfully. That way I didn't need to keep track of who I told what, kwim? (My choice, you can all choose for yourselves.) However, now that I am close to goal weight, people have started asking if I intend to lose any more weight, and then promptly tell me not to. Believe me, I am nowhere near anorexic. I'm still a solid size 14 in most clothes. I think their perception is the "difference" in my weight, not in the physical reality of what I weigh now.

Anyway, my truthful time is over. When they ask, I'm just going to say "Nope, I think I'm good." Then I'll proceed to do whatever the heck I want to do anyway. Sort of like being a teenager again. I doubt anyone but me (and probably hubby) will actually notice if I lose another 5-10 pounds but the subject is not up for public debate, especially with people who want to tell me how bad I'll look.

/Rant Over/

56 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

I agree O&D, just smile and lie, not like they'll be able to tell a 10 lb difference!

Families are funny. At Thanksgiving a cousin's wife who I hadn't seen in 6 months, walks in the door and says "You ....................... cut your hair!" Lol, yeah, that's the big difference in my appearance ! (I mean she obviously knew it wasn't my hair but was thought I might be offended if she mentioned my weight loss, I guess). I have an aunt whom I told early on, when my losses started showing. She just keeps asking how much I have lost. I've shared that with only a small group of people, and don't intend on telling her. I just keep dodging the question, but she's not deterred, she keeps asking me and my mom as well.

Yeah, that haircut is reallllly flattering! Who knew that the right cut could make you look 100 pounds lighter?

17 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

Yeah, that haircut is reallllly flattering! Who knew that the right cut could make you look 100 pounds lighter?

Should have gotten my hair cut short years ago. Wouldn't have needed WLS!

On 12/24/2018 at 14:52, sillykitty said:

I agree O&D, just smile and lie, not like they'll be able to tell a 10 lb difference!

Families are funny. At Thanksgiving a cousin's wife who I hadn't seen in 6 months, walks in the door and says "You ....................... cut your hair!" Lol, yeah, that's the big difference in my appearance ! (I mean she obviously knew it wasn't my hair but was thought I might be offended if she mentioned my weight loss, I guess). I have an aunt whom I told early on, when my losses started showing. She just keeps asking how much I have lost. I've shared that with only a small group of people, and don't intend on telling her. I just keep dodging the question, but she's not deterred, she keeps asking me and my mom as well.

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

8 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

I know, right?!

8 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

YES .... exactly!

I hate when people use the term, skeletal, to refer to one’s appearance. The only people who do that have body image issues themselves, imo, so their opinion is clouded and should not be considered.

My experience is that people who have met me since I lost all my weight think I look great, but some people that knew me when I was obese think I’ve gotten too thin. They’re wrong. They’re just used to me as the fat lady and don’t want to change their image of me.

Don’t let anyone other than a trusted doctor (if warranted) influence how much weight you lose or what your goal weight should be. To be frank, wearing a size 14 is not indicative of someone that is skeletal or too skinny. Only you can decide what is the healthiest weight for you. It may be in the normal BMI range (low, mid, high), or it may not be. Your body, your decision.

2 hours ago, NYJenn said:

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

One of my favorite anecdotes is when a a good looking colleague of mine says in a great southern drawl .... "Girl, you look amazing, you must have lost 30 lbs!" I said, "Yeah, something like that" It was actually 75 lbs at that point

Most people have no idea how much others really weigh!

Edited December 24, 20187 yr by sillykitty

I've decided that when I get the "OMG you look great did you lose weight" question, my answer is going to be "Possibly" [emoji57]

-AtA

I feel you. I’m 230lbs, about 50lbs from my surgeons goal and about 60lbs from my own goal. I’ve had a couple of people ask if I was at my goal and tell me I shouldn’t lose more that 20 or so more pounds or I “wouldn’t look right”... Seriously? I think it’s just I would no longer look like they think I should. I don’t think people realize how odd and out of line such comments are. I always respond with, “well- I’m just following my doctor’s program and they think xxx is a healthy goal for me.”

This is a great thread!! I’m experiencing the same, when people ask me how much more weight do I plan to lose I say “ I’ll know when I get there” ?? that seems to stop them in their tracks and then they look dumbfounded...I knew questions like this would be coming as I started losing weight and I’ve thought about it long and hard about it so I don’t have a problem telling people that I’m not looking for unsolicited advice regarding my weight.

One lady at work constantly has to check me out everyday, one day I was so cold at work so I was wrapped up in my throw for most of the day, she asked me to take my throw off so she could see how much more weight I had lost....lol just nuts.

We all know when we are where we want to be in this journey!! You all inspire me ?

7 hours ago, NYJenn said:

8 hours ago, sillykitty said:

I agree O&D, just smile and lie, not like they'll be able to tell a 10 lb difference!

Families are funny. At Thanksgiving a cousin's wife who I hadn't seen in 6 months, walks in the door and says "You ....................... cut your hair!" Lol, yeah, that's the big difference in my appearance ! (I mean she obviously knew it wasn't my hair but was thought I might be offended if she mentioned my weight loss, I guess). I have an aunt whom I told early on, when my losses started showing. She just keeps asking how much I have lost. I've shared that with only a small group of people, and don't intend on telling her. I just keep dodging the question, but she's not deterred, she keeps asking me and my mom as well.

I HATE the question “how much have you lost?” I’m so proud of my 91 lbs but I feel like when I say the number people turn into a deer in the headlights trying to calculate “god how fat did she used to be???”

I end up scaling it back so it doesn't seem so drastic... ?

On 12/23/2018 at 3:31 PM, t1018ross said:

I had this exact situation happen to me just last night. A friend said you look so good followed with I hope you're not planning on losing more. I just smiled and said no even though I plan on losing another 18 or so. Nobody's damn business is my opinion!

I started out weighing almost exactly where you started, and we seem to have lost the same amount. i'm also 5'4". I've had a few people ask me how much I've lost total, but I never tell them because I don't want them getting suspicious about how I lost it. Most people don't lose 80 pounds on their own. I've never had anyone tell me to stop losing, and I've maintained for the past 6 months. I think my inherited thicker legs must be the reason no one tells me to stop losing. They're a family heirloom (not one I cherish). I wear a size 8 pants and a medium top. Since losing the weight, my skin has tightened up considerably on my arms, butt, and under my chin. I feel I look normal and healthy now, not too skinny, so maybe that's why no one is alarmed I've lost 80 pounds. I don't look underweight, just normal. However, I do plan on losing another 10-15 before my tummy tuck this summer.

Edited December 25, 20187 yr by Strivingforbetter

Seriously? I think it’s just I would no longer look like they think I should. I don’t think people realize how odd and out of line such comments are. I always respond with, “well- I’m just following my doctor’s program and they think xxx is a healthy goal for me.”

I think the face changes especially weird people out. *I'm* weirded out by my changing face. It's bizarre though how people feel they can give you their uninformed opinion of what's healthy for you though.

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I no longer look like me, I no longervrecognize myself, I look like my Mama and my Aunt Grace, both long dead. When do I get to the stage where I look like a younger cuter sister? I'm waiting, I'm waiting!

I'm looking more like my father and I'm not happy about it (sorry dad)

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