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Surgery and Divorce - Advice!?



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39 minutes ago, jesseycakes said:

Freeze a Protein Shake and pretend it's ice cream!!! You don't need that jerk, you are going to move on and find someone who loves the whole package. 😍 My ex told me I was getting too fat (right after having a baby!) and he left me. Best damn thing that could have ever happened!

4 hours ago, Skc150 said:

6 months ago I decided with the support of my husband to start the long insurance approval process for gastric sleeve surgery.

5 months so my husband of 12 years informed me he was no longer attracted to me didn't think the surgery would work, and wanted a divorce so he could "live his true life."

The last few months have been unreal but I decided to go forward with the surgery even though most everyone recommended postponing it. I had the surgery last Tuesday (12/11) and my divorce was finalized today (12/17).

All I want to do is eat ice cream and drink wine, but since that is obviously no longer on the menu, does anyone have some advice for how I can get through the next 24 hours? Drowning my sorrows in Gatorade and chicken broth is not cutting it!

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

I'm so tired of jerks...

2g2zcr.jpg

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1 hour ago, GreenTealael said:

I'm so tired of jerks...

2g2zcr.jpg

NOT gonna lie... I was thinking along this line. F him and his horse. I'd use it as motivation to get even hotter and watch him choke on his tongue. And sleep with his friend. Cuz yeah.

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26 minutes ago, Kay07 said:

NOT gonna lie... I was thinking along this line. F him and his horse. I'd use it as motivation to get even hotter and watch him choke on his tongue. And sleep with his friend. Cuz yeah.

So we are forming a Justice League,

I heard...

Edited by GreenTealael

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I don't know how much he weighed sis but it sounds to me you've just dropped a **** ton of excess weight in only 7 days after surgery! Time to celebrate!

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Oh cripes. I'm sorry to hear, what a sucky thing to do. But this gives you a chance to concentrate on your own health and wellbeing, rather than putting energy into a soured relationship.
I hope every pound you lose feels like an even bigger victory.
Here's to much better things for you about to come into your life!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

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20 hours ago, jesseycakes said:

Freeze a Protein Shake and pretend it's ice cream!!! You don't need that jerk, you are going to move on and find someone who loves the whole package. 😍 My ex told me I was getting too fat (right after having a baby!) and he left me. Best damn thing that could have ever happened!

Love the ice cream idea and I so needed to hear this right now - thank you!

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You ladies are the best - thank you so much! Reading your replies have lifted my spirits more than you know. I now know to freeze Protein Shakes for ice cream, practice what to say when he comes crawling back after seeing that this WILL work damn it!, and pick one of his friends to sleep with! :)

Edited by Skc150

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Well that sucks! And is clearly his loss, as you are also CLEARLY a strong, kick-ass woman who just scoffed at him trying to emotionally undermine you and went for it anyway. This way, the next guy gets fresh, gorgeous you!!!!

Seriously tho - not to make light of a horrible situation, but I hope you can see who the winning, beautiful soul in this scenario is!!!!!!!

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23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs
Today 205lbs

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23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs
Today 205lbs
That sounds like she had some issues. Nothing you could have done. If you weren't skinny it wouldhave been because you were big. I hope you know that you deserve better, too!

Sent from my LGL59BL using BariatricPal mobile app

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23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs
Today 205lbs
Oh dude, I'm sorry. You must be feeling all the feels. May you receive better!!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

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9 minutes ago, frankt04 said:

23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs
Today 205lbs

There is a certain point in the relationship when the thing that should attract a partner most is their personality and mind not their looks. We all age, get wrinkles, saggy bits etc. Some of us gain weight, others lose but inside it is still the person that you loved.

It's sad when a person forgets that

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57 minutes ago, frankt04 said:

23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs

Now I'm mad.

giphy (1).gif

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Knit

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12 hours ago, frankt04 said:

23yr relationship. Im now 42, i cook every night, flowers weekly, love and adore my wife more every day. Found out she has had multiple online affairs and now wants a divorce, “I’m just not attracted to skinny guys” she said. Ouch. So its a human thing not just a man thing.

We have a 9 and 2 year old.

Biggest 440lbs
Day of surgery 404lbs
Today 205lbs

Ugh. What a crock of crap. As if attraction is all there is at this age!

Can I just tell you that if I had a man that paid as much attention to me as you seem to do for your wife, I'd be so freaking in love and happy I'd never leave? You could look like a troll and have 16 toes and I would love you from my soul. THAT is love. Look for it next time!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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