Why isn't anyone talking about having no support system? Because I sure dont

[Toya6 2]

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids

[Healthy_life 1,437]

It's talked about. Here are a few threads about lack or no support

https://www.bariatricpal.com/search/?&q=unsupportive&search_and_or=or&sortby=relevancy

The members here share similar experiences with weight loss surgery. Ask us anything.

Edited November 15, 2018 by skinnylife

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

30 minutes ago, Toya6 said:

no support system

@Toya6

welcome to the group - we keep getting "smaller" and "smaller"😉

sorry you are lacking support🙁

don't dismay - OP here love to help others w/info - support and sympathy ,

most of us have good ears, and wide arms - waiting for newbies like you.

can you check with your doc/NUT if they have a support group - or can send

you in the right direction. continue posting on U tube, doing your journal.

keep a record of all your NSV's - you will hear that word a lot. It means

NonSleeve/Surgery/Victories - ie the first day you can cross your legs. Many
clothes NSV's like getting into a smaller size. Being able to wrap a bath towel

around you (that was a huge one for me)

Take pictures of yourself now, and periodically - take your measurements

too. If you don't see the scale move - the tape measure will be a good

indicator to your success.

bummer that you had to leave hospital early to care for your kids. hopefully

you are still able to take care of yourself-you are the important one now!!

good luck - i know you will do great - you are aces!!!🤗

kathy

[Wanda247 908]

@Toya6 Honey sometimes you have to make your own sunshine and do not let anyone get in the way of that.

I know quite a few people who have had either gastric bypass or some other type of weight loss surgery but they either gained all of the weight back or working on gaining it back so I do not want to go to them for support.

Support is so important and like you, I talked to total strangers from this very site that answered my questions, cheered me on, encouraged me you name it...I am so thankful that my nutritionist told me about this app because I had so many questions...I kept reading the questions that were posted and answers that were given. It has helped me so much! so you are not alone, there are folks here willing and ready to be a support system for you.

Yes I had family to come visit me in the hospital, pick me up and listened to me but they really don't understand the emotional aspect of my journey like people that have been and going through this process.

So I said all that to say, if you want this can be your support system...each person are at different levels and stages here but you will always get a response back from someone.

You made one of the best decisions to have WLS so if you have to get support from total strangers so be it, they won't seem like strangers after a while.

I wish you nothing but the best on your journey. We are here for you 😉

PS: Also you can check with your Team to see if they have a support group. My group does have a support group that meets once a month, I went but wasn't impressed.

Edited November 15, 2018 by wanda247

[GreenTealael 25,610]

Hi, sorry you are experiencing this, I also had very little support. But you can make it through and still come out on top. Fight for yourself, support yourself, win for yourself, never disappointed yourself.

[FluffyChix 17,418]

Sorry you are struggling!

In the end, this is about us, and for us, and it can be so consuming. I second and third the need to get recs to hook-up with a good real life support group. My RD hooked me up with 3 groups and I found a 4th on my own. I ended up liking the one group led by my RD the best, so I make sure to go to that monthly. It's invaluable to me.

Then the online supports both here at BP, and on FB, and also on MFP are fabulous and are very important to my success and motivation! I feel connected daily with people who are in a similar situation and can offer advice and support.

Hope you find that!!!

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Sorry no one is in your corner for this battle! It is really hard for non-bariatric people to really understand this journey, they can give you a hug sure, but we really have to put in the time, and do all the work ourselves in the end. Celebrate all your little goals along the way - get a blank notebook or even just a steno pad from the dollar store and write all your feelings down and all your accomplishments. You can refer to them on days when you need a little boost. Good luck.

[J San 1,072]

You came across a great site if you are in need of support. There are plenty of folks here that will love you like family even though they may never meet you in person. Stick around, ask questions, post your concerns and you will for sure get feedback.

Congrats on your surgery and Best to you on your journey.

[Joe78260 16]

I am sorry you do not feel you have support. My wife went through the same 10 years ago. Today this site Facebook and MFP all have support groups and people like myself who had RNY in July who are here for you,

Check the following web site https://www.obesityaction.org/community/find-support-connect/find-a-support-group/

the site has some bariatric support groups

Also have you done a google search for support

I a, on MFP my profile is josephskop You can friend me and I will try to provide support

Joe

[mousecat88 2,281]

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids

My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Hop_Scotch 1,634]

8 minutes ago, mousecat88 said:

My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Me to, I am a member of this site and some FB groups, and other than that only one friend knows, and if I didn't have to have someone with me for a couple of days after the procedure (my doctor insisted, though with the benefit of hindsight he wouldn't have known either way), no one would have known.

I am fairly independent and private with family and friends when it comes to medical issues and health, if I am sick, I prefer to be left alone, don't bother me type of thing, I am not dying, I will be fine tomorrow.

[paulec74 13]

My only support system is this forum and a FB group. My mother is adamantly against this surgery (which I recently went through with) and my now ex bf wasnt understanding. I kicked him out last week, one week postop, yay. I live alone. It's me, myself, and I. And I've had complications, so I am coping alone. It is what it is. Didn't do this for anyone but me so... I don't need anyone else but me.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

Well we are here for you whatever you need ! I am also newly sleeved and ir is a tough path we chose! Good luck and ask if you need anything,

PaulE

[J San 1,072]

I salute you that are doing this solo. I don't know if I would have had the strength both physically or mentally to go through with it. Although I cannot offer an physical assistance I will offer any support otherwise that I can. I wish the best to you all!!!

[NIKKIBEVERLY 57]

Hey everybody look I've watched dozens of YouTube vids for months made a few of mon y own documenting my journey but what I havent seen alot of is lack of and no support system through this trying blessful time I've had fake support and I'm 6 days post op and had to discharge myself out ur the hospital way before I was supposed to leave cause I had noone to be with my children this is making my motivation and determination alot better it still sucks at the end of the day because I wanted a hug from people who claim to love me but I've had a enormous amount of support from the Facebook bariatric groups my God strangers who've become my friends worldwide ....I live in nyc I dont know 1 person who've had vsg so I didnt have noone to talk to other than make YouTube vids

What's your YouTube link. I'll subscribe. Good luck on your journey. Sometimes family and friends don't understand this process so the lack of support is unfortunate. Just keep being great and living your best life. We are our biggest cheerleaders..as long as YOU love yourself nothing else matters.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Frustr8 7,886]

And NIKKIBEVERLY. And Toya6. you'll always have a friend in me, if you like. Some things are different , I am a 72 year old widow in Central Ohio who had a RyN bypass September 5th, but like you there is not another RnY in my town, the few times I have been to my local hospital, a community one, not the one in Columbus , Ohio State University, where i had my surgery, the nursing staff acts like I am a purple spotted giraffe that parachuted in, oh they may have treated lap-bands, one or 2 sleeves,but never nothing like ME!
And I know how a lack of support hurts, I do have Tomkitten,my son, my friends on here, but hardly anyone else. My PCP told me last Friday, after 11 weeks of silence on the subject, that he was very proud of me. This is after seeing him for other things, and like an invisible elephant in the room, he just ignored it. Even he is finally seeing my weight loss, Good news I have lost 60+ pounds since July 31st Bad News I was such a Big Girl it takes a while for it to become apparent and I am not healing perfect, I have a stricture, My surgeons partner has tried 3 times, every 2 weeks, to stretch it, another attempt this coming Friday, and I have 5 post-surgery gastric and intestinal ulcers, not yet bleeding, not ready to perforated although there is always that risk. So since little gets through the narrowed opening, I can't eat much and vomit a lot. Wish I was young enough to be preggers , I would get a cute little baby out of the vomiting deal!😷👶! But life is still in a way good, beats death all hollow. And Dr Noria swears I am still fixable, smart lady, guess I choose to believe her!🌈