Dating

[sgc 538]

On 3/16/2019 at 11:24 AM, FluffyChix said:

Ok, so it's official. You have issues you need to work on. They live INSIDE your head, not in reality. You likely have body dysmorphia.

You are a handsome guy! Seriously. I've never seen you before. And if I was young and single, I'd date ya at least once based solely on your looks. Now go. Run. Do. Work on your self-esteem and getting rid of that horribly unattractive chip on your shoulder!

Thanks for sharing.

I've done the photofeeler thing. I know where I stand. The picture doesn't show the mess underneath. It's even worse. I guess I never thought I was that bad that women wouldn't even talk to me much less go on a date.

Bumble may not be a good option either. Women are definitely out of my league there. Lots of doctors and lawyers. Only one so far has swiped right and she was a transsexual.

[sideeye 1,440]

Vacation dating check-in: awesome. I landed and had about four hours to kill before getting the apartment keys, and because this side of the world is only just starting autumn, I went to a department store and stocked up on linen dresses on sale. (Again, I can’t emphasize enough how insane it is that I go shopping voluntarily and spontaneously now.)

Am meeting all fitness goals through rigorous cardio schedule. He’s a lovely man but this guy is also a huge ego boost - very expressive and appreciative and so body-unconscious himself that it doesn’t even occur to me to be self-conscious. He’s made it very clear that he likes my body exactly the way it is, that none of the stretch marks or loose skin even cross his radar, and that everything I wear looks great. Very tactile guy.

And also REAL cardio - this is a hilly city, and at one point we went out to pick up dinner and groceries and as we’re going down the 200+ steep steps I go “oh, right, I remember this part now” because of course we also have to go back UP those steps on the return. A decade ago I did those sorts of climbs all the time, basically because you have no choice here, it’s the shortest travel between two points, but I also worked up to that level of constant stair-climbing over a few weeks. But the way back was no problem! I was about as out of breath as he was, we took a couple breaks but could still carry on a conversation, I didn’t even turn red.

Also VacayBoo wants me to meet his family (and by that I mean kids and ex-wife). Today. Hunh.

[GreenTealael 24,955]

51 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Vacation dating check-in: awesome. I landed and had about four hours to kill before getting the apartment keys, and because this side of the world is only just starting autumn, I went to a department store and stocked up on linen dresses on sale. (Again, I can’t emphasize enough how insane it is that I go shopping voluntarily and spontaneously now.)

Am meeting all fitness goals through rigorous cardio schedule. He’s a lovely man but this guy is also a huge ego boost - very expressive and appreciative and so body-unconscious himself that it doesn’t even occur to me to be self-conscious. He’s made it very clear that he likes my body exactly the way it is, that none of the stretch marks or loose skin even cross his radar, and that everything I wear looks great. Very tactile guy.

And also REAL cardio - this is a hilly city, and at one point we went out to pick up dinner and groceries and as we’re going down the 200+ steep steps I go “oh, right, I remember this part now” because of course we also have to go back UP those steps on the return. A decade ago I did those sorts of climbs all the time, basically because you have no choice here, it’s the shortest travel between two points, but I also worked up to that level of constant stair-climbing over a few weeks. But the way back was no problem! I was about as out of breath as he was, we took a couple breaks but could still carry on a conversation, I didn’t even turn red.

Also VacayBoo wants me to meet his family (and by that I mean kids and ex-wife). Today. Hunh.

Girllllllllllllll

[sideeye 1,440]

Oh, it gets so much weirder. I am not even going to get into it, but trust me that all sorts of new things are happening all at once in terms of how this particular game is working.

But for the purposes of this discussion: dating is good, so is cardio, so is confidence, so is vacationing. Everyone should have more fun in life all the time, even if it’s slightly different from what you thought it would be, and when you’re not hung up on your weight or appearance as much anymore you can be a little less protective/defensive about romance. Broaden your horizons a bit, do what works for you.

As a friend recently put it: “what used to be a dealbreaker is now just the fine print”, which I actually thought a really good way to view it. Doesn’t mean lower your standards; just take a good hard look at what your personal standards actually ARE, and how those apply practically in the real world.

Edited March 26, 2019 by sideeye

[Frustr8 7,886]

Look for someone that makes you mess up your lipstick instead of your mascara.

[GreenTealael 24,955]

3 hours ago, sideeye said:

Oh, it gets so much weirder. I am not even going to get into it, but trust me that all sorts of new things are happening all at once in terms of how this particular game is working.

But for the purposes of this discussion: dating is good, so is cardio, so is confidence, so is vacationing. Everyone should have more fun in life all the time, even if it’s slightly different from what you thought it would be, and when you’re not hung up on your weight or appearance as much anymore you can be a little less protective/defensive about romance. Broaden your horizons a bit, do what works for you.

As a friend recently put it: “what used to be a dealbreaker is now just the fine print”, which I actually thought a really good way to view it. Doesn’t mean lower your standards; just take a good hard look at what your personal standards actually ARE, and how those apply practically in the real world.

I agree... Im just nosey at this point 😂😂😂😂

[sideeye 1,440]

Never before have I been at Breakfast with a guy I’m sleeping with and had his ex-wife text us from the same restaurant where she is ALSO unexpectedly on a date, saying she’s glad that it looks like we’re having a really nice time.

That category of weird.

[GreenTealael 24,955]

17 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Never before have I been at Breakfast with a guy I’m sleeping with and had his ex-wife text us from the same restaurant where she is ALSO unexpectedly on a date, saying she’s glad that it looks like we’re having a really nice time.

That category of weird.

#Adulting problems...

You're doing great !

[VIKING 0424 1,105]

sound like someone is having the time of her life i hope you enjoy you new found friend (lover) good for you girl i hope all works out the way you need it to be for your happiness and a heathy bond is formed

[sideeye 1,440]

Vacation over, bond reestablished, endorphins boosted and 8lbs lost (I attribute this to all the mountain-climbing, not alternative cardio, though a good effort was made)! Good decision all round, and bonus: I have returned feeling serene and confident without a shred of heartbreak. Ball is in his court for next country-hopping visit, but no matter what I had a much better vacation doing touristy holiday stuff with him than I would have alone, so victory all round!

Now back to Bumble. It’s been pointed out to me that I only really snap with Commonwealth guys. I always thought my lack of connection with Americans was due to my weight, or maybe could be spending most of my formative years outside the US, but hmmmm. It’s kind of proving out. Not drawing any red lines obviously, but I may just not culturally click as well (or as quickly) with Yanks? Mysterious.

[GreenTealael 24,955]

4 hours ago, sideeye said:

Vacation over, bond reestablished, endorphins boosted and 8lbs lost (I attribute this to all the mountain-climbing, not alternative cardio, though a good effort was made)! Good decision all round, and bonus: I have returned feeling serene and confident without a shred of heartbreak. Ball is in his court for next country-hopping visit, but no matter what I had a much better vacation doing touristy holiday stuff with him than I would have alone, so victory all round!

Now back to Bumble. It’s been pointed out to me that I only really snap with Commonwealth guys. I always thought my lack of connection with Americans was due to my weight, or maybe could be spending most of my formative years outside the US, but hmmmm. It’s kind of proving out. Not drawing any red lines obviously, but I may just not culturally click as well (or as quickly) with Yanks? Mysterious.

Ooooooh interesting !!!!

[GreenTealael 24,955]

Things are going very smoothly with Bumble Bae... I'm surprised. I can't remember who suggested the Site but thank you 💜

I was only on for less than a day when i began chatting him up and cancelled immediately.

Kismet? Maybe...

How is everyone else doing?

[somegal 15]

KimTriesRny. You could try Geocaching. It’s an outside treasure hunt where you use your iPhone or gps unit and you walk. Hike. Etc. they have events anywhere and everywhere and it’s mostly free. ( you can go premium for 30.00 a year ). I am dropping weight all the time ( before surgery) yeah me. By geocaching. Just an option for meeting people.
Www.geocaching.com

[sideeye 1,440]

7 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

How is everyone else doing?

Only been back on and looking for a few days, but am feeling a strong urge to lay off online for a while and see who I can fish in person. (I already have the ongoing long-distance texting relationship, I don’t think I have the energy currently to do that on multiple fronts.)

That means going to events a hell of a lot more and generally getting out there, but I am surprisingly into that right now, so okay. It’s summer, let’s see who chats me up at riverside cocktails. If there’s no action, I’ll go back online.

I got my dopamine fix in spades last month, so I can be a little patient.

Anyone else having any luck, online or off?

Edited April 13, 2019 by sideeye

[GreenTealael 24,955]

Updates:

Relationship with Bumble Bae was going great then hit a weird patch where communication broke down and I was very annoyed with his personality.

I'm sure he was less than thrilled with mine too. But I had a real honest conversation with him and we resolved the issue.

(His job is terrible and stressful/hates it. But he formulated a plan his attitude improved and recently resigned)

But now he is moving out of the state 😳 so now we must try our hand at a long distance relationship