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Should weight matter in a relationship?



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Thank all of you for sharing these brave details, and the honesty.

My hubby is 6ft and 168 soaking wet. Second marriage for both married 21+ yrs to each other and each 18 yrs previously - I know he appreciates me as i was/am but I also know that physical attraction is part of it always.

He has never seen me at a normal weight, he is my total cheerleader, cabana-boy, and all around exceptionally decent man. I expect he will find new joy in the skinnier me because I will be enjoying it myself too - especially after plastics and i get new 'fun bags'....lol

I hope all of you get to goal, find good relationships with love and have a blast finding it all out....

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On 7/27/2018 at 10:32 PM, sillykitty said:

BIG CONFESSION TIME

I had a boyfriend of 7 years, who left me over my weight.

When we got together I was probably around 170-180. When he left me I was about 230.

We had no other major issues. We got along extremely well. We had only a few fights during our entire relationship. Despite my weight I was more physical active, and active in general (more social, traveled frequently), and also took a lot of pride in my appearance. He was slightly overweight when we met, gained some weight, and then lost weight to end up just very slightly overweight.

I noticed he started to not invite me to things with his family or friends. I didn't think too much about it. Holidays were off the table with him having 2 sets of kids, and me with my family, so we never did those together. Otherwise he was pretty much a homebody, so other social events for him were few and far between, made it easy to ignore. We both had demanding and social jobs, so staying in and me cooking was the norm. I barely noticed the decline in going out.

I knew from the beginning I wasn't his physical type. But I figured it wasn't a big deal, because we had a great sex life. There were things about him that weren't ideal, but all the good stuff made up for, I thought it was the same for him.

He began to get more distant. So we finally sat down and talked and he said he wanted to break up. He wouldn't give me an answer why really. I finally asked him if it was my weight. He was surprised I knew it was an issue for him. He told he was embarrassed to bring me around his family and friends or to be seen in public with me. He was still sexually attracted to me, but too embarrassed to be seen with me.

That was four years ago. I only told one person the real reason we broke up, and I did it when I was drunk, lol.

Give me his current address...

I'll fix this

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I'm going to get,it umbrella out☔for when Green. Tealael clouds up and rains,on him!

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When my husband and I met, we were working for the same company. Before we started dating, he had seen me lose around 30 pounds. I got down to about 150. He was 6'1", 145 pounds. When we started dating, he had said how impressed he was that I had lost the weight and how he hadn't "noticed" me before that. (Yeah, I knew how to interpret that one.) At that point, we had maybe been going out for a few weeks. I told him then that if my weight was a big deal to him, he needed to move along right now. I couldn't promise that I would never regain the weight. He decided to stay.

In the 29 years that we've been married, I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds. He has always been there for me, regardless. He's my biggest cheerleader now. I am blessed.

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I bet Mr Dragon feels equally blessed with His Orchid Lady.

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55 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Give me his current address...

I'll fix this

The absolute best revenge would be sending him pics of my current hotness (and future hotter-ness :P). That would hit him where it hurts. Because I know I was the best sex he'd ever had, and I doubt he's found better in the last 4 years :lol:

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4 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

The absolute best revenge would be sending him pics of my current hotness (and future hotter-ness :P). That would hit him where it hurts. Because I know I was the best sex he'd ever had, and I doubt he's found better in the last 4 years :lol:

Oh well you're a better person then me I was going to "Help" him with chocolate pie...

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My husband recently told me that he is starting to find me attractive again. I am almost to the weight I was when we married (11 lbs to go). I am sure there are other factors in here, but this is the one that I chose to hear during the conversation. Let's just say physical intimacy was down to nothing the past few years...

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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