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What to tell coworkers?



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I am only in the approval phase for VSG. I hope to have surgery in Dec. I know I will have to tell my supervisor, HR, and coworkers something since I plan on taking 2 weeks off. I have been going back and forth about tell the truth, only telling the truth to my supervisor and HR, and then just tell everyone a lie, like I am having my gallbladder out. I've been at my job for only 5 months, and I know my supervisor and some coworkers will be judgmental. I defiantly won't say anything until closer to time though. How did you handle this?

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nothing

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You owe them nothing but y h ey owe you respect for your Privacy.

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I think it is a very personal choice as far as whether or not you want to tell anyone, and your feelings may differ on it over the coming months as you get closer and go through the process. You can simply say that you have to take time for medical reasons, or that you have to have surgery, and leave it at that. I wouldn't make up a story and say you have to have your gallbladder out (unless they are doing that at the same time) because what if you have gallbladder problems later and really have to have it taken out, that may be hard to explain, lol.

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You could tell them that you’re having a hiatal hernia repaired.

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you shouldnt have to tell them anything. Just say surgery .... I like Chunkysoup's answer of hernia. I never told anyone other than my husband. Weight loss- I said I switched my diet to low carb high Protein months before and added in a lot of exercise etc

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I'll be watching your responses as I am worried about telling my supervisor as well. I think she'll be negative and judgmental. I don't plan to tell coworkers but that could change after the surgery.

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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I chose to say gallbladder because I have already had that removed lol. The hernia is a good idea too. The only reason I would make something up is because I know my supervisor will want an explanation. I know that is not professional, but my supervisor isn't professional lol. She is very nosy, negative, and judgmental. I feel like if I give a reason besides just saying surgery, it might stop some rumors that I know will start spreading through my office full of gossiping people. After surgery, I do plan on just saying that I am working hard to loose weight buy eating better and exercise. Which is totally true! :D

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I am just in the approval phase too. I already had my gallbladder out so I know that excuse is out - except I did have to have bile duct surgery the year after gallbladder removal because the duct had scarred over and was not draining properly. I am considering saying that, or that I have unmanageable stomach acid issues that were solved by removing part of my stomach. You literally don't HAVE to explain yourself, you could just say "I am having surgery, it is a sensitive topic and I would rather not discuss it". That way people will think it is something worse than a voluntary surgery and maybe not dig too much, and just gossip among themselves because they will anyways.

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1 hour ago, chelsey211 said:

I am only in the approval phase for VSG. I hope to have surgery in Dec. I know I will have to tell my supervisor, HR, and coworkers something since I plan on taking 2 weeks off. I have been going back and forth about tell the truth, only telling the truth to my supervisor and HR, and then just tell everyone a lie, like I am having my gallbladder out. I've been at my job for only 5 months, and I know my supervisor and some coworkers will be judgmental. I defiantly won't say anything until closer to time though. How did you handle this?

Why do you have to say anything? Keep it to yourself.

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7 minutes ago, Bootscraper said:

Yes, you are right. They will talk no matter what. I know I don't HAVE to explain myself. I am just one of those people that feel that need to explain everything and do my best to get approval from everyone (it's something I am working on)

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1 minute ago, apositivelife4me said:

Why do you have to say anything? Keep it to yourself.

I am a social worker so everyone in my office works closely. I will have to have coworks cover my case while I am out. I feel like I have to say something since people will be pulling my weight for a couple weeks.

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Repeat after me:

I have to have a medical procedure and the doctor says I must be out of work for x time.

To your supervisor - I will bring in the medical note as soon as I have it, but wanted to let you know for scheduling purposes.

To your coworkers - I'm having a medical procedure and I will be out for x time. Thank you so much for your concern and asking about it, but I don't want to discuss my medical issues with anyone other than my doctor.

Assuming you are in the US and you work for an employer of more than 50 people, they cannot force you to say anything else. If co-worker's push, say - did you have sex last night? When they are shocked explain that you feel the same way about your medical issues - they are private and no one else's business. I only had to do that once. It worked.

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1 minute ago, apositivelife4me said:

Why 2 weeks? I recovered in 3 days.

That's just what the surgeon recommended.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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