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Stigma with WLS

Tracy1978

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Sleeved36    356

Sleeved36
Posted

How you doing?

Hope everything goes well today!

The hardest part of this journey is deciding to do it, then the first 2 weeks after surgery. Almost there!

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looly    361

looly
Posted

Tracy - I hope your op went well!

As regards you original post, I told my long-term friends and family and just one work colleague.

My two best friends expressed concerns about the seriousness of the surgery and the risks, but were very supportive when I explained my reasons and how it was relatively safe compared to other major surgery I've had. I reckon that's a measure of how much they love me - they just wanted to make sure I would be safe. But there are some other people I know who would most certainly be b*tchy if they knew, so I'm not telling anyone who has contact with them.

Unfortunately, my mother has taken it upon herself to tell two of her friends (who she swears are trustworthy). I've tried to explain that it should be my choice who knows, but she thinks I'm being unnecessarily secretive. (Sigh) Mothers eh?! Well, she's kind and thoughtful in lots of other ways...

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Lyngolean    81

Lyngolean
Posted

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!

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GreenTealael    25,598

GreenTealael
Posted

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!
My one supporter said the same thing like 2 days before my surgery!
I.LOST.MY.MIND.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

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looly    361

looly
Posted

15 hours ago, Lyngolean said:

An infuriating comment someone said to me was, "Why don't you just eat like that and skip the surgery?" Talk about ignorance... Hopefully those closest to you are supportive and helpful!!!

Yup...because that never occurred to you before, did it? :rolleyes:

That's got to be up there with "You just need to eat less and move more."

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Frustr8    7,886

Frustr8
Posted

Add You're Not Trying, You're not commuted to dieting enough, and one,of my personal favorites You are only doing this to Get Attention. Hnnnh?

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looly    361

looly
Posted

Well, you've go to feel sorry for people who are plonkers...After all, we had an operation to help fix our all-too-obvious flaw, but what can they do? - Have a personality transplant?;)

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Frustr8    7,886

Frustr8
Posted

Hard to have a personality transplant, where do you find a mind that narrow to fit it?

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Tracy1978    113

Tracy1978
Posted

I am on the mend now. I've learned a lot about myself and those close to me since the surgery; both before and after.

I'm grateful for the community through the journey. The scariest part was feeling alone in this...and I am most certainly not. Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I appreciate it!

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Gundy    139

Gundy
Posted

Dear Tracy,

All the well wishers with idiotic comments are exactly the reason I only told my husband, mom, and two close family friends since they would notice when eating meals.

That being said, if we could have lost the weight under less severe measures, why would we have surgery!?! Silly question.

The pre-op diet was the hardest part for me, and I ended up just doing Keto.

Trust that it gets better, and a few months down the road, the hard part will be behind you.

How are you doing?

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Screwballski    540

Screwballski
Posted

Best thing about being over 40 (in my case, 50)? Giving zero f@cks what others think about my decisions. 😀

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insta_adventurer    1,046

insta_adventurer
Posted

On 07/23/2018 at 20:19, Screwballski said:

Best thing about being over 40 (in my case, 50)? Giving zero f@cks what others think about my decisions. 😀
I’m 34, but yeah- basically this. I have a secret surgery buddy that I did this with that wants no one to know they did it, but I’m the exact opposite! I will tell anyone I did it and really don’t care if they have anything but positivity to bring to my life.... 😂. I did this for me.

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patriot70    3

patriot70
Posted

I agree we all should do what is right for us. My fiancé has told me that I’m taking the easy way out & why don’t I just go to the gym and get a trainer or that I’m making the biggest mistake of my life but I said I have a total peace about it & I’m not letting anyone steal my joy.

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums

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    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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