Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Trying to find love while on weight loss journey



Recommended Posts

*Posted this in a different forum before I saw this one, oops*

Hey everyone! Hope you guys are all doing well with your weight loss journeys! So I began mine this February to get the sleeve, July will be the last of 6 months of doctor visits- per insurance, then I’ll FINALLY be able to schedule surgery. I CAN’T WAIT! I’m also turning 29 this October and have decided that I would like to put myself back on the dating market after taking a break from all that. I’m obviously going to be meeting guys that are going to be attracted to the way I look now, but what happens when my look changes?

My question is, how do you guys approach telling someone about your surgery? Do I tell everyone I go on more than 1 date with? Do I wait until after surgery to tell someone? If I’m just casually seeing someone around the time I’m scheduled for surgery should I end it and resume afterwards?

Dating already sucks so much for everyone, but I feel like this is just an added layer of awkwardness. Are there any other young adults currently on the dating market who are either pre or post op? How did you/are you handling the whole surgery topic?

-Awkward AF from Michigan 🙋🏻‍♀️-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl... when your look changes it changed. If the guy is with you he should be cool what whatever you look like. He should love you for you not for what you look like. I think that telling someone that you aren’t completely sure of is not the move. If I’m telling someone about my surgery I’m going to at least make sure they actually mean something to me. I wouldn’t tell anyone on a first or second date. There’s so many other topics to explore on those dates. Girllll you better stop it. How would that look to end a a relationship just to have surgery and then try to pick it back up. No girl. What if he moves on? If you’re still with him after a few good healthy weeks of dating and you feel like you can be vulnerable around him without judgement then tell him. Hopefully he will be supportive and at that point in your relationship he should only want the best for you.

As for me in pre-op and I’m single. If meet someone I don’t plan on sharing what I’m doing immediately. I don’t know that I can trust the person. I just take it one day at a time and go with the flow. Don’t over think it. And don’t think it’s awkward because if you think this was it reallllllly becomes awkward. You’re a normal person who is just living a normal life. Things happen, events happen, life changes, nothings wrong with that. So If I’m seeing someone before I get surgery I’ll see how comfortable I feel with that person and if he has in fact earned my trust. I’ll tell him. Girl.. don’t over think this. Just chill. 😉

I’m also not re reading what I wrote. Sorry if there are mistakes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl... when your look changes it changed. If the guy is with you he should be cool what whatever you look like. He should love you for you not for what you look like. I think that telling someone that you aren’t completely sure of is not the move. If I’m telling someone about my surgery I’m going to at least make sure they actually mean something to me. I wouldn’t tell anyone on a first or second date. There’s so many other topics to explore on those dates. Girllll you better stop it. How would that look to end a a relationship just to have surgery and then try to pick it back up. No girl. What if he moves on? If you’re still with him after a few good healthy weeks of dating and you feel like you can be vulnerable around him without judgement then tell him. Hopefully he will be supportive and at that point in your relationship he should only want the best for you.
As for me in pre-op and I’m single. If meet someone I don’t plan on sharing what I’m doing immediately. I don’t know that I can trust the person. I just take it one day at a time and go with the flow. Don’t over think it. And don’t think it’s awkward because if you think this was it reallllllly becomes awkward. You’re a normal person who is just living a normal life. Things happen, events happen, life changes, nothings wrong with that. So If I’m seeing someone before I get surgery I’ll see how comfortable I feel with that person and if he has in fact earned my trust. I’ll tell him. Girl.. don’t over think this. Just chill. [emoji6]
I’m also not re reading what I wrote. Sorry if there are mistakes.
Your right, can't tell everyone everything, even friends and family, at least until u feel they earn your trust

Sent from my SM-N950F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And how is the Journey to Live doing? Any happy updates as yet? Remember to be true to you, you have undertaken a trek few start at let alone finish, you are a fine good-looking lady ,so don't settle for pond scum,or bottom feeders,in the search, you deserve the best so never settle for less!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×