Hey everybody,

I'm still pre-op, but my surgery is June 20th, so we're getting pretty close now. I started dieting last October, just before Halloween (I remember because of all that candy I miraculously chose not to eat) and I've managed to lose just about forty pounds so far, and gone down one pant size, though not a shirt size, weirdly... But anyway, at work and at home, my friends/co-workers/family have all started talking to me about how I look. They say it's clear I've lost some weight, that I'm looking really good, aren't I excited for the surgery... One co-worker even has this thing she says all the time about me coming back after the summer (I work in a school) as a "whole new person".

I know these sound like compliments, but I hate them. I don't know how to respond, or act, and it makes me feel really awkward and embarrassed when people start talking about me and my weight loss -- even though they're actually being nice! Complimenting me! Supporting my efforts! Am I being a jerk for wanting to tell them to buzz off and mind their own business? I did come out and tell everyone about my weight loss surgery, but I did so because I didn't want to answer questions down the line about why I was refusing to eat/drink anything other than Premier Protein and tiny little half-cup portions of veggies and fruit.

I have a co-worker who actually went out of her way to research the surgery I'm having, and came back asking me questions about how I plan to deal with the loose skin afterward. I think it was out of genuine curiosity but I was so shocked by the question that I answered kind of snottily and she hasn't brought it up again, but jfc, I hate my weight being a topic of conversation so much.

I've mentioned this to my co-workers, and I've asked my family not to discuss it with other people without asking me first, but I guess it's too exciting for them to remember, because my mother can't go five minutes without bringing it up to random strangers at Wal-Mart, and my co-workers bring it up so often... well, at least now summer has started, but I'm cringing at the thought of losing more weight before the school year begins in September. Or worse -- not losing very much weight and completely disappointing everybody around me. I'm feeling resentful of all these people, despite their well-wishes and support, and it's driving me a little crazy to feel like this on top of the constant starvation of a liquid-diet and the anxiety of the major surgery I'm about to have.

It kind of feels like... like I'm excited, but I'm not as excited as the people around me, and I'm not sure what to do with that. Am I already failing mentally as a WLS patient? Does/did anyone else feel like this?

Sorry for the essay, ugh.

This is a hard one for me to understand! I wish people would notice that I’ve lost weight. I feel so much better about myself, but wondering if any improvements are even noticeable. On the other hand, it is hard to care since I truly feel so much better!

I refused to tell anyone about my surgery except my husband and mother prior to surgery and one couple after surgery who were restaurant and eating buddies since we didn’t want them to feel like they were being ignored. I asked that they honor my need for privacy which they have.

When people notice or comment about eating less, I tell them that I was told I was pre-diabetic and decided to change my life. It is the truth. It is honestly none of their business what tools or strategies are used.

My advice is to error on the side of caution when telling others about your surgery. One day, I may be willing to be more open if my story can help another person who suffers with weight, but for now, it is my own journey.