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problems with eating out



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Hi, after a difficult time and several band adjusts I am now very slowly loosing and happy with my band. :clap2:I eat a healthy diet, similar to before banding, just less of it. I would like to ask other banders how they cope with eating out. I enjoy my meals but eat them a lot more slowly than my family. I don't have a problem with this but waiters in restuarants do. Recently every member of staff in the place came and asked me if there was anything wrong with my food. I had already swopped with my husband cos his looked smaller. I found this very stressful and as we all know when we are stressed it's harder to get the food down. I feel very uncomfortable if the rest of the plates are removed whilst I am still eating, and have even had a tug of war with a waiter trying to remove my plate when I was still eating.:confused: Any suggestions?

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I recently had an experience like this. I just told the waitress that I eat slower than most to enjoy the taste and she left me alone. I have found that if the place is really crowded, they like to move you in and out as quick as possible, but I still eat at my slow speed.

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Hi Dave, thanks for your reply. I don't think they wanted us out, the place was nearly empty. If you are not actively eating they think you have finished and are not doing their job if they leave the plates on the table. We are off to the US soon. I remember the waiters there being very quick to whisk things away. Here in the UK they often wait until the whole table has finished which feels more comfortable for me. Any suggestions anyone? I just don't want every meal to be a battle, it's been hard enough to get used to the band as it is.

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I've found that if I ask them in the beginning to bring a take home box (whether I really want to take it home or not) and put half of the meal in it, it doesn't seem like there is as much left. That seems to get them to stop asking me when I'm full but still have a lot on my plate. And honestly, the portions here are huge so I'm not going to eat all of that in one sitting anyway.

Have fun coming here!

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Hi!

I often order an appetizer and ask for a box for the leftovers up front. My doctor's office gave me a card explaining that I had surgery and cannot eat large portions. I actually haven't had to present it to anyone yet. When I ask for the box, they usually get the idea that I don't plan to eat a ton. No one has given me a hard time about it yet.

Waiters and waitresses also think I'm weird because I won't get anything to drink (I can't eat and drink at the same time with the band, so what's the point of getting a drink?).

Hope this helps!

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I would ask for the box when they bring your meal. I would pack up whatever you do not think you will eat and set it aside. I try to order things that are on the soft side when I eat out. I like fish alot and I know I am less likely to have a problem with that. A chunky hearty Soup, like some kind of chowder is a good idea too. The waiters are there to serve you so don't worry about what they think.

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Hi guys thanks for your suggestions. In the UK we really don't have take home boxes and I don't want to take it home I just want to be left in peace to eat it. Saying I have not finished does not seem to work. If I am not actively eating the waiters hover... I know it sounds daft but I wondered about putting a notice on the table saying

"We have not finished".

If this worked it would save me having to get into all the stuff interacting with the staff that I find so stressful.

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I'm a server, we like to be called servers today:) and it's true. Our bosses do expect us to turn our tables as soon as possible. It's something to do with the ticket times and the check being closed out. Trust me, we do not like it either. We have to do what they expect us to do. I was banded on 9/25/07 and am getting my first fill on wed. I can't wait to not be able to eat alot and having to eat slow. I really wouldn't care about what any server thinks. I paid alot of money for this solution and I have gone through alot. I'm going to take my time and enjoy the food. My guy eats slow anyway, so now maybe we'll match in that area. As far as not being able to eat and drink at the same time, I plan on ordering a glass of Water or unsweet tea just because I'm afraid of choking. Enjoy your meal and if you feel bad about taking a long time while eating, leave a little more of a tip (if you can afford it) Also, get to know the person waiting on you and ask for them next time you go in. They'll get to know you and they'll get used to you taking a longer time to eat. Believe me, servers love to be asked for by name. I hope you take some of this advice and I hope you enjoy your meals from now on.

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Thanks for your response cj. It's good to get feedback from the other side. You might be interested in something I read in the paper yesterday. When servers repeated back to their customers word for word the order they had just taken it improved their tips by up to 70%! It's to do with the customer feeling listened to ... and they like it. Hope it works for you. :D}

Penni

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Thanks for the info Penni, I'm going to try it. I'll let you know how it turns out.

i'm so excited that I get my first fill tomm ( if all goes well) I had trouble with the port incision so I'll let you know how that goes too. Write back soon

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One of the things that will work in my favour (hopefully) is that I have always been a very very slow eater! When going out to restaurants or peoples houses for dinner I will generally be the last person to finish their meal and often my friends would have even finished their Desserts and I am still on my main meal. To stop the wait staff trying to clear my plate before I am finished I will often hold my fork so that they know I haven't finished.

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Hi mss thanks for your suggestion. I did this in Greece recently and in turn every member of staff came up to me and asked if there was anything wrong with my meal. I had already swopped with my huband cos his looked smaller. In the end I told the waiter to take it away when I hadn't finished and I was still hungry cos they just wouldn't leave me alone to eat it in peace. I was in tears by this point.

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that actually sounds quite rude what the waiters were doing. I went for a mea last night with my parents, both finished before me but we were left alone till i had finished mine. Don't have take home boxes here either but i find if you hold your knife and fork the whole time they get the point your still eating. as for ordering a drink with my meal i always do.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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