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Hi Ladies,

I haven't had any surgery yet but I am wanting peoples opinions or experiences if that's okay. I am a 35 year old single Mum, I'm about 70kg overweight, my daughter is 8 years old and is over weight for her age group.

I am in the process of being referred to a specialist to discuss weight loss surgery but I am really stuck in my thinking on how this will effect my daughter. On the positive side if I had the surgery and lost weight I would be active, healthier and more outgoing and be a healthier example to my daughter (food/weight/exercise wise). But I'm also thinking if I have the surgery and my daughter then sees the tiny portions that I could eat afterwards it may have a negative impact on her and her eating? Tell me if I'm overthinking this - cause I know I could be for sure lol.

I'm so stuck thinking I should try and lose the weight naturally again - (I have been overweight most of my life and dieted most of my life too). Or I should bite the bullet and go for surgery. I'm unsure if one sets a better example than the other?

Please don't anyone be offended by my post. I'm not wanting to sound like im judging ladies on here because I truely am not.. I just want your opinions please if that's okay.

Thanks Everyone,

Kim x

Edited by kime316
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What a great post.

Your daughter is a bit overweight - this surgery, and the way it forces you to eat healthily, might just do her the world of good. You”ll be low carbs for a while (and maybe forever if you like that eating style), and you’ll get good at meals with healthy Protein and veggies, with treats of fruit, and a huge drop in processed food - you might just see her weight slide towards normal. And set her on good eating habits for life, if you make it all positive for you both.

My partner wasn’t chubby, but has lost 10lbs and dropped a clothes size because we are both eating healthily - and liking it!!

PS my sister in law did this before me. Lost stacks - and her kids loved the delights of suddenly having her to walk with, cycle with, play ball with...

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You are over thinking. I've got 2 kids myself, I started my WLS back in 2011 when they were in their early teen years, I can say that they both benefited greatly from my WLS.

You didn't specify which WLS you were going for. When I was banded back in 2011, really the only thing the band did was reduce my quantity, this helped my kids even still, people tend to overeat and not realize it. When I was revised to Bypass this past March, I had to greatly reduce my sugar and fat intake, this has already had a positive impact on my whole family, less sweets, fattening foods, etc and more healthy options has already started to show on my family. Honestly best thing I ever did and I truly wish I had done it sooner. Just be open and honest with your little one, even at 8, they understand things better than you'd think.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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