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So i was sleeved in december of 2016, and i'm very very private about my journey. (For all kinds of reasons i want credit for all the work i'm putting in and i just don't want negativity or judgement around me.)

But i'm in multiple groups online because i genuinely like helping other people through their journey.

So a former friend found me in one of those groups and outed me, and now i'm humiliated. I'm not at all ashamed of my surgery, but i just feel like it's my business to tell and she's honestly the last person i would ever trust anyway. (She's known for doing horrible a*****e-ish things lol)

So now what do i do? How did you handle that if someone has ever done that to you?

I'm honestly trying to just get over it, but it's easier said than done.

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I got outed at work in an interdepartmental meeting. It sucks, but other than telling the person (and anyone else who asks) that you prefer not to disclose your personal medical information, there's not much you can do. Hopefully, she'll honor your request and not discuss it further. It's a shame that people can't mind their own business.

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I agree with Orchards & Dragons. I would ask her to please not speak further about your personal medical business & that it isn’t her place to tell people.

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I am sorry you have to deal with this.

The other advice is Good, but from what you said this person is not that respectful. You should still tell her to mind her business.

Don't be ashamed that you took control of your life and health. Haters gonna hate. Just keep being your beautiful self.

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2 hours ago, xoxococojay said:

So i was sleeved in december of 2016, and i'm very very private about my journey. (For all kinds of reasons i want credit for all the work i'm putting in and i just don't want negativity or judgement around me.)

But i'm in multiple groups online because i genuinely like helping other people through their journey.

So a former friend found me in one of those groups and outed me, and now i'm humiliated. I'm not at all ashamed of my surgery, but i just feel like it's my business to tell and she's honestly the last person i would ever trust anyway. (She's known for doing horrible a*****e-ish things lol)

So now what do i do? How did you handle that if someone has ever done that to you?

I'm honestly trying to just get over it, but it's easier said than done.

People can be crappy and judgmental. You did the right thing by making this person a former friend...lol Let them be a miserable negative person. Enjoy the conversations with positive people. Keep them around you.... ignore the haters.

An option to think about if you get outed.

Be proud and blunt! post: I make no apologies for living an amazing healthy life. :-)

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I don’t have any advice but I’m so sorry this happened to you! It’s no one’s business! People can be so terrible. Sending you big hugs!

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Me too. You are awesome and don’t let that “low life person “ bother you. Big hugs too :)

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xoxococojay when you send that false friend to that condo Satan has ready in Hades, I have her a room-mate. I was recently,told By now you should have to terms with the way you are. Now stop trying to rock the boat!" ,Maybe I misunderstood but I think she,just told me to "Sit Down, Shut Up and Die!" Thiscwasvsomeone I had known for years but I never realized till now how she really felt about me. I believe I shall remove her from my life.👎😓

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13 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

xoxococojay when you send that false friend to that condo Satan has ready in Hades, I have her a room-mate. I was recently,told By now you should have to terms with the way you are. Now stop trying to rock the boat!" ,Maybe I misunderstood but I think she,just told me to "Sit Down, Shut Up and Die!" Thiscwasvsomeone I had known for years but I never realized till now how she really felt about me. I believe I shall remove her from my life.👎😓

OMG! That is a horrible thing to say to anyone! No matter our age, I believe we should always strive for growth and certainly health! Def remove her from your life!

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I hope everyone that commented see's this. Thank you all so much for making me feel better. You all gave great advice.

I really love this group, it's one of the few places where i feel safe to discuss my journey and all the stuff that comes along with it. Thank you all, you're awesome! [emoji847][emoji847][emoji847]


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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