Good Morning!

I am hoping I could get some advice from this group. My surgery is scheduled for May 14th. I am 30 years old, and have a BMI of 43.6. I have no co-morbidities. I have had one previous abdominal surgery (gall bladder) and the recovery from that was very easy for me. I was back at work 2 days after surgery.

Now, the reason I am telling you this is because my husband had a heart attack last week and is in the hospital waiting for a bypass. Heart Disease runs strong in his family. His surgery is scheduled for Monday, April 30th. The recovery for it is pretty freaking intense. As a result, I am considering pushing my surgery back a few weeks. My husband and family are adamantly against it. My mom works part time as a school bus driver, and my sister is on Maternity Leave, so they said they will take care of the kids (8 and soon to be 5) and us for the first week after my surgery.

My main concern is this: My husband can't drive for at least the first 6 weeks to allow the sternum to heal. I won't be able to drive right after surgery (according to my paperwork at least). Does anyone know how long that is for? How soon were you driving? I just feel that with him only being 2 weeks post op, it seems insane to go in for another surgery!

My concern with pushing the surgery back is work and insurance. For work, I've already got the leave approved, the STD in place, and have started to train my coverage while I am out. I took 3 weeks off post-surgery since I have a 1.5 - 2 hour commute each way and my thought was seatbelt + incisions = not fun. For insurance, my insurance came out with that pesky 6-month clause right at the end of my time that said any approvals submitted after 4/13 for approval needed to include 6 months of supervised weightloss. The original approval is good for within 30 days of the originally specified surgery date (They originally approved for April 16-20, and my surgery is May 14 so if falls within that 30 days). So I am afraid that if I request to push it out to say June, they may decline and make me continue with the 6 month and not have my surgery until August/September, which is the start to my busiest months at work (Not to mention the 2,000 person 4 day conference I am hosting the first week of September, AND the first week of October).

In truth, I probably won't be able to make a decision about this until my husband is post-op and I can see how he is healing. Due to his age and general health, they consider it to be an extremely easy recovery but one can never tell. However, I would welcome your thoughts especially as it pertains to recovery from VSG while caring for another post-op person or if you had more insight into the recovery of bypass (Doctors can tell us what they expect, but I find people who live through it usually have more insight into the actual day to day).

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.

Kind regards,

Kay

P.S. One last tidbit I forgot to mention, I have no issues with making dinners and such for my family while post-op. I don't have uncontrollable food cravings, nor do I have binging issues with food so am not concerned with feeling stress about being surrounded by food I cannot eat.

Edited April 29, 20188 yr by Kay07

I drove two days after surgery. I’m the only one in my household that drives and softball season began! I never took any of the pain killers, Tylenol or the OxyContin. The pain for me wasnt that bad. That being said dizziness and light headed ness due to dehydration sneaks up on you! It’s also a bit uncomfortable to sit up and potholes in the road are the worse!

5 hours ago, Kay07 said:

Hi everyone,

Once again, please accept my heartfelt thanks for your well wishes and responses. I will wait until the end of this week to make a decision on whether or not to pursue my own surgery. I agree that my husband's care certainly trumps my surgery at this point, but at the same time do not want to cause undue hardship on my employer after having paid for the coverage.

In regards to support, I have multiple family members that are close by to offer assistance, but for me the deciding factor will ultimately be my husband's comfort level on having my family step in and assist. I purchased multiple products on Amazon (this morning as I am still hanging in the waiting room) to make bathing and sleeping easier on my husband. Despite this, I want to make sure that my husband is fully comfortable with the assistance before I confirm my surgery.

On the most important note, my husband made it through surgery and is now recuperating in the ICU. I was able to see him for a minute, but they were trying to regulate his pain so I couldn't stay. I am still hanging out in the waiting room. Surgeon said he did great! We also learned that she is the Chief of Cardiac Surgery, so that made me feel pretty good

Again, thank you kindly for your words of encouragement and support.

Kind regards,

Kay

So glad to hear his surgery went smoothly.

Prayers the recovery goes just as well!

8 hours ago, Kay07 said:

Surgeon said he did great! We also learned that she is the Chief of Cardiac Surgery, so that made me feel pretty good

So happy to read this!

Best wishes to you and your family.

Yay!!! I'm so glad that your husband had a successful surgery and with the head of cardiac surgery, too! Yippee!!!! Hang in there girl and try to rest as much as you can during this stressful time!!!

Yippee Yay Hoo! Step#1:Done! A smooth healing, a rehab that that will benefit him? and lot less worry and stress for you.?
I hope you and your doctor'? will think it's okay to go forth with your surgery as well.
Don't wait until you're old as the hills before you venture forward again. I got a beautiful letter from OSU yesterday confirming my next very important day, the trifecta appointment with 3 different people, the nurse-practioner, dietician, and my case manager so my,own of care can be formulated, but I have yet to have a face-to-face with the surgeon. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm too old, too broken down, too worn out to take the risk? I know I can handle it emotionally. mentally because Dr Kramer the staff psychologist said so, but physically? My record of selling refrigerators to Eskimos isn't that good. I should have the skills of my generation-mate Donald J Trump,he convinced a majority of the voting public he would make a good President. Now that was quite a Salesman!
My love to you, the hubs and all the little mini-Kay07 at your house?

Hello! I just wanted to pop in with a few updates. My husband is doing very well! They had him up and walking today, and he managed to do a full lap around the floor (a total of about 150ft) 3 times, which is apparently a big deal. In addition, they were able to take all drainage tubes out so he is feeling MUCH better. There is a possibility he may even get to come home on Friday! He is already getting up from the bed/chair with minimal assistance, and using the rest room on his own. It truly is a wonder how far we have come in medical field.

My mom has decided to basically move in next week and the week after to help. I have to work next week to train my coverage for my own surgery, which at this point I am proceeding with. If he struggles this weekend, I will definitely push it out.

Now for the not so great news... living off hospital food has caused me to gain 4lbs. They had very little gluten free options (unless I wanted wilted salad) and so in addition to the weight gain I have stomach pain too. Joy. Thankfully I have at most 2 days left, then I am putting myself on a liquid diet next week in hopes of losing those 4lbs I just put on

Once again, I wish to thank you all for your kindness and support. It has been an immense help to me by keeping me distracted during this chaotic time.

Kind regards,

Kay

Hello! I just wanted to pop in with a few updates. My husband is doing very well! They had him up and walking today, and he managed to do a full lap around the floor (a total of about 150ft) 3 times, which is apparently a big deal. In addition, they were able to take all drainage tubes out so he is feeling MUCH better. There is a possibility he may even get to come home on Friday! He is already getting up from the bed/chair with minimal assistance, and using the rest room on his own. It truly is a wonder how far we have come in medical field.
My mom has decided to basically move in next week and the week after to help. I have to work next week to train my coverage for my own surgery, which at this point I am proceeding with. If he struggles this weekend, I will definitely push it out.
Now for the not so great news... living off hospital food has caused me to gain 4lbs. They had very little gluten free options (unless I wanted wilted salad) and so in addition to the weight gain I have stomach pain too. Joy. Thankfully I have at most 2 days left, then I am putting myself on a liquid diet next week in hopes of losing those 4lbs I just put on [emoji20]
Once again, I wish to thank you all for your kindness and support. It has been an immense help to me by keeping me distracted during this chaotic time.
Kind regards,
Kay

I have a lot of experience in hospital stays! 2 brain surgeries and 2 c sections! You have just salad to choose from. Ugh no gluten free options. Ughhh sorry your going through all this! Best wishes!

Another update: He is being discharged tomorrow morning! Since they took out the drainage tubes, he has been doing worlds better. He can get up/down on his own, and is walking about 500 steps per walk (according to fitbit). The doctors are thrilled with his progress

Feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am so ready for him to come home!

6 minutes ago, Kay07 said:

Another update: He is being discharged tomorrow morning! Since they took out the drainage tubes, he has been doing worlds better. He can get up/down on his own, and is walking about 500 steps per walk (according to fitbit). The doctors are thrilled with his progress

Feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am so ready for him to come home!

Wonderful news! Thanks for the update!

Hip Hurrah my Bari-Bud Kay07! This is so much better than expected, The 07 Family ? is going for the Gold here? You both are going to. be winners in Life's Race.
Keep those happy updates coming??

Sorry to hear of your family’s troubles. Thankful for a good surgical outcome! As far as your surgery goes, there will always be things that happen or get in the way. If you have support, take advantage of it and get your surgery done. You are important too. Prayers for rapid healing for your husband and prayers for an easy preop, and surgery for you!

On 5/3/2018 at 8:12 PM, Kay07 said:

Another update: He is being discharged tomorrow morning! Since they took out the drainage tubes, he has been doing worlds better. He can get up/down on his own, and is walking about 500 steps per walk (according to fitbit). The doctors are thrilled with his progress

Feels like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am so ready for him to come home!

Just wanted to check in and see how everything is going? Hope your husband is doing well and you're still on track. Please keep us updated.

Any updates Kay07? Is surgery still a GO,for May 14th, how is your hubby healing? And also important, how are you yourself feeling??We all miss hearing from you!

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for checking in! My hubs is doing GREAT! Well, he's getting on my nerves because he is home and bored and whining. LOL. His recovery has actually been easy. The first few days were chaotic as he needed help with a lot of things, but he is completely independent minus the driving. He feels much better and is not handling the "being cooped up at home unable to drive anywhere" stage of this recovery very well. I think its actually a good thing I will be going for my surgery since it will mean I am off for the next few weeks with him and he won't be as lonely.

So yes, my surgery is still a GO! I go in at 2pm on Monday

4 minutes ago, Kay07 said:

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for checking in! My hubs is doing GREAT! Well, he's getting on my nerves because he is home and bored and whining. LOL. His recovery has actually been easy. The first few days were chaotic as he needed help with a lot of things, but he is completely independent minus the driving. He feels much better and is not handling the "being cooped up at home unable to drive anywhere" stage of this recovery very well. I think its actually a good thing I will be going for my surgery since it will mean I am off for the next few weeks with him and he won't be as lonely.

So yes, my surgery is still a GO! I go in at 2pm on Monday

So glad to hear it! Boredom is a good sign Best of luck with your surgery!