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Head Hunger is Real!



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Pre surgery I didn't have a good understanding of the difference between head hunger and physical hunger. I knew that sometimes I was snack-y, but not hungry. But now I don't have any physical hunger, I've begun to understand the power of head hunger.

Head hunger feels the same as physical hunger to me. The only way I can tell the difference is when I realize I'm feeling hungry because I've had a food trigger (pizza commercial for instance), or when I realize I am only craving a certain type of food (starches usually for me), and healthy Snacks aren't appealing.

This has been a difficult week for head hunger. I am working on plans for a vacation to Italy this fall. So doing lots of research and reading. Italy's food is so intertwined with the culture, everything you read about Italy is at least somewhat food related. Looking up Airbnb's, the reviews mention the restaurants nearby, and how delicious certain dishes were. Looking for tours, so many food tours, even nonfood tour mention the starting or stopping place is near a cafe, or have a food stop built in. Reading travel forums, so many threads about where and what to eat.

I'm not complaining about Italian food culture. I love it, this will be my 4th trip to Italy. But doing this research has made making good food choices this week a real struggle!

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This week I made such a ridiculous, rookie mistake - I went out to a business lunch with a colleague and was so focused on other things that I ordered as I would have months ago. He noticed the prix fixe menu and said he was going to get it, and I looked and saw it was within reason for the price of a business lunch. I saw I could get chicken Soup (I can eat that!), I could get a veggie dish (can eat some!), and I planned to get the dessert boxed and give it to someone in the office.

And then the soup arrived, I took five mouthfuls and remembered: forget what sort of food I can eat, I CAN'T EAT THIS MUCH.

Completely ridiculous. Luckily the coworker was completely unobservant, but how stupid. I ended up boxing up the veggie course too and now I've been eating it for a week. It was head hunger plus habit, but it's insane that after weeks of being hyper-alert to food issues it was so easy to backslide.

Good luck with Italy (and Italian portions)!

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This week I made such a ridiculous, rookie mistake - I went out to a business lunch with a colleague and was so focused on other things that I ordered as I would have months ago. He noticed the prix fixe menu and said he was going to get it, and I looked and saw it was within reason for the price of a business lunch. I saw I could get chicken Soup (I can eat that!), I could get a veggie dish (can eat some!), and I planned to get the dessert boxed and give it to someone in the office.
And then the Soup arrived, I took five mouthfuls and remembered: forget what sort of food I can eat, I CAN'T EAT THIS MUCH.
Completely ridiculous. Luckily the coworker was completely unobservant, but how stupid. I ended up boxing up the veggie course too and now I've been eating it for a week. It was head hunger plus habit, but it's insane that after weeks of being hyper-alert to food issues it was so easy to backslide.
Good luck with Italy (and Italian portions)!

Kudos for not forcing it in and making yourself ill! I like to see the silver lining! Look at how far you’ve come! Congratulations!


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3 hours ago, sideeye said:

This week I made such a ridiculous, rookie mistake - I went out to a business lunch with a colleague and was so focused on other things that I ordered as I would have months ago. He noticed the prix fixe menu and said he was going to get it, and I looked and saw it was within reason for the price of a business lunch. I saw I could get chicken Soup (I can eat that!), I could get a veggie dish (can eat some!), and I planned to get the dessert boxed and give it to someone in the office.

And then the Soup arrived, I took five mouthfuls and remembered: forget what sort of food I can eat, I CAN'T EAT THIS MUCH.

Completely ridiculous. Luckily the coworker was completely unobservant, but how stupid. I ended up boxing up the veggie course too and now I've been eating it for a week. It was head hunger plus habit, but it's insane that after weeks of being hyper-alert to food issues it was so easy to backslide.

Good luck with Italy (and Italian portions)!

It's great though you were comfortable enough to get distracted! I am hyper self conscious dining out w colleagues or clients.

I'm anxious about dining in Italy w my new stomach. There are a lot of food related rules in Italy vs. here. It's kinda not appropriate to just order one course. The friend I'm going with has a lap band (years before we met), so she isn't a big eater either. Most places we could just split a course, but that certainly won't fly. First world problem, I know, lol!

I'd ask for advice on here. But I'm afraid I'll get people chiming in and said they only ate Protein Shakes and Jerky on vacation. I'll have to ask on a travel forum, but I need an alias. My travel forum postings are followed by some of my friends and family who don't know about my surgery.

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Do not go to Italy and only eat shakes and Jerky, that would be heartbreaking and tragic. I say just order whatever you want and then eat whatever portion you feel like eating. The good thing about vacationing is that nobody knows you, so who cares if the waiter is horrified there's food left on the table? Tell every single one of them that you're both just getting over a stomach bug but HAD to try their food because you'd heard it was so good. And if you go somewhere and eat at the bar, they're less likely to flinch at small orders.

Client meals are a minefield. There's only so long I can con people into going to tapas joints. I'm finding I have more success with Soups than anything else, because the plate at least looks big most of the time. And I've also been known to say "I'm just ordering something light because I might have to get back to the office for a call" which is a filthy lie but takes the spotlight off.

Basically I'm saying bariatric surgery has made me into an unabashed, gleeful liar.

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16 hours ago, sideeye said:

Do not go to Italy and only eat shakes and Jerky, that would be heartbreaking and tragic. I say just order whatever you want and then eat whatever portion you feel like eating. The good thing about vacationing is that nobody knows you, so who cares if the waiter is horrified there's food left on the table? Tell every single one of them that you're both just getting over a stomach bug but HAD to try their food because you'd heard it was so good. And if you go somewhere and eat at the bar, they're less likely to flinch at small orders.

Client meals are a minefield. There's only so long I can con people into going to tapas joints. I'm finding I have more success with Soups than anything else, because the plate at least looks big most of the time. And I've also been known to say "I'm just ordering something light because I might have to get back to the office for a call" which is a filthy lie but takes the spotlight off.

Basically I'm saying bariatric surgery has made me into an unabashed, gleeful liar.

Oh, yeah no way would I deprive myself of delicious Italian food! You're right, I shouldn't worry about what a random waiter thinks, and good idea about the bar.

I'm totally with you on the being a big liar! For the associates and clients I see infrequently, I just say my stomach's been bothering me lately. I see them like 1-2 per year, so whatever. But I traveled w my boss 3 weeks post op, for an entire week, 3 meals a day! It was a big wine and dine event, ugh! I had to give an elaborate yet vague story. I hate having to lie like that, but I would definitely be judged for having WLS. In a couple of weeks we have our quarterly sales meeting. Meals are stressful enough, but my company has a drinking culture, so not drinking will be a BIG DEAL. I have a reputation that I won't be able to uphold, lol! I'm sure more than a few people will be convinced I'm pregnant.

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Carry around a Water with a lime in it and tell them it’s a gin and tonic. If rumbled, tell them you just read the huge article in Mother Jones about the links between alcohol and breast cancer and are abstaining. Then stare at them with a haunted expression.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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