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Keeping Surgery Secret



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This is one of those times where I'm happy to have both a very small family and live in a big area full of strangers. I'm not in regular contact with anyone on my side of the family and there's no need to tell anyone on my wife's side, so it's only my wife and two college age kids plus two close friends who'll know. My wife may tell some of her friends and co-workers but their opinions and input mean absolutely nothing to me. If she puts it on Facebook though, there will be consequences.

The actual fun I'm going to have is trying to keep it from my co-workers, not because I don't want them to know but just to see how long it'll take until they figure it out on their own. They're a smart bunch and since I won't be having the surgery until late May or early June, I've just been telling them that I'm on a medically supervised diet due to stomach issues, which is technically accurate. When I have the surgery I'll just say that I'm having a surgical procedure to fix some stomach issue but I'd rather not go into specifics so as not to disgust anyone.

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I haven't had mine yet, but I only plan on telling a select few. My husband and kids know as well as my parents. I'll tell my brother as I get closer to the date. I have one friend that I know has considered the surgery so I'll probably tell her. Otherwise it's no one's business. I'm a very private person as well and share things on a need to know basis.

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I am debating on whether or not to tell my co workers. I feel like they will figure it out anyways as they will notice the liquid diet as well as the smaller portions as we typically eat lunch together every day. I don't plan on telling any of my friends before the surgery and after the surgery I will gauge how I feel about it. I am typically an open person so I have a inkling that I will tell them.

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Tell them you've been having a little trouble with your tummy and you're on a special diet for a while. My gastroenterologist has had me cut out things, let them think you might have an ulcer(I do) for some reason,ulcers cause less questions than weight loss surgery. That's how society works. 😁

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I would love to keep it a secret if I can. My husband knows that I plan to get it. I really hate to keep it from my family but I feel like I will be criticized by some and my mother would be worried sick if she knew. BUT, I'm probably going to end up needing her help watching my toddler overnight for the hospital stay so I'm going to have to tell her. There is a week in the summer that I have to be off work due to my babysitter going on vacation so I already have that time scheduled off and was hoping to be able to use that week to have surgery.

I am hoping people aren't too suspicious of the weight loss because I've already lost over 40 pounds in the last 6 months. I've already had the "how are you doing it" questions so maybe they'll just see it as a continuation of the weight loss.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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