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Keeping Surgery Secret



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I was sleeved 8 weeks ago and I have chosen to keep my surgery a secret. Only a couple of immediate family members know, and they’re very trustworthy. I have chosen this because I live in a small town where people gossip and I don’t want to be the subject of gossip. I’m also naturally a very private person and always found my weight to be a very personal topic that I didn’t enjoy discussing. So far it’s been fine, but from forums, I feel most everyone is public about theirs. Is there anyone else who kept theirs private? How has that been for you? Any regrets about staying private? Thanks!

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I have kept mine a secret as well and I’m almost 5 months post-op. My parents and 2 very close friends that have also had the surgery are the only ones that know.. people have noticed my weight loss.. and that I have been eating better and exercising more. I have no regrets about keeping my decision private.. I am like you, from a small town and people talk too much..

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I kept it to just my boyfriend and parents for a month or two... then realized people basically already knew. You don’t typically lose 65lbs in 4 months 😂 so I started telling anyone who was brave enough to ask me what I was doing.

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My family and some very close coworkers know. But my friends don’t. My family, because I needed their help, because I tell my mom everything and because i trust them. Coworkers because I left for a while and they knew it wasn’t a vacation and because I drank Protein Shakes daily for weeks; so it would have been an awful lie to tell. But my friends, now that we are grown and have families see each other only occasionally and I’ve never felt the need to discuss my weight with them. I’ve lost over 100 pounds three times in my life (obviously part of my issues) so fast weight loss is not unusual for me. They are probably thinking “here she goes again”. But I’m happy it’s not the topic of conversation or that I’m not a focal point of gossip. So I’m glad I’ve kept it somewhat secret.


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Hi hazthain. I've also kept mine secret (just told family and some of my closest friends). I felt like people scrutinized what I ate before surgery and would do even more so after to make sure I wasn't "cheating" or something. I've had a couple of coworkers comment on my weight loss and loose fitting clothes, but I just tell them that it took a medical scare to set me straight on eating right and exercising. You're not alone in keeping it a secret and I don't see anything wrong with it. Best of luck to you!

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I was looking through some papers and I found this.
You have to reach out to your family-Put your hand out- If they slap it back-Reach out again if you care enough. I know I wrote this,down from a book, I think the author was Rebecca West.

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I kept mine a secret except for my husband and a few friends. I've been on so many crazy diets over the years that no one has blinked an eye over what they perceive as another crazy diet. I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation.

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I haven’t had surgery yet, my paperwork will be submitted next month but I haven’t really told my family. My mom, 2 close cousins, and an aunt who had surgery knows. And also a friend who was sleeved, a friend who was denied the sleeve, and 2 other friends know. I only told people that I trusted. It’s weird, 3 people in my family have had weight loss surgery, the females are always scrutinized, the male, no one batted an eye about him having it. So to avoid the negativity, I’ve been pretty private. When they ask about the random appointments I have been doing I just tell them I’m trying to make sure my health is in order


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I told my husband and older kids, my sister, and my Mom (who in turn told my step father, but so far, so good!) And one close friend. If someone messaged me begging to know (like I did to my cousin!) I would share it.

Sent from my SM-G935V using BariatricPal mobile app

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Only my husband, son and 3 close friends know. If I told my mother EVERYBODY would know. There are too many people that have negative opinions about weight loss surgery and I don't need that in my life. I'm going on 5 months post op and people think I lost the 81 pounds by walking and watching what I ate which is how I lost the 37 pounds before surgery. It's a personal thing and my husband and I want to keep it that way. You do what feels right for you. Best of luck on your weight loss

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I have had a band for just over 4 years and only my husband knows. I would tell my son but I have gone that long without telling anyone that what would be the point now. I am very private and at the end of the day it only concerns me. Trust issues maybe.


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I had to experience this over the weekend when I went out of town and spent time with family in another state and people were wondering why I wasn’t eating I just explain I was watching what I eat and trying to eat healthy but one lady just keep going on and on and eventually I just excuse myself from table but I felt she didn’t need to know and going forward my answer will be like everyone else I issue and watching what and how much I eat


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My wife and some of my immediate family know, otherwise I’m not saying. So folks that I know who have had it recommended to me avoiding spreading it around. According to their expirence “thin people will look not understand the need, and the overweight will resent you for ‘cheating.’”

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I kept my lapband a secret for 5 years from friends and they always knew something was up. No social drinking, my portion sizes were small I was constantly getting up from meals to toss my Cookies and it was a B!tch.

I decided that that since I had failed with my lapband and regained all the weight I had lost now would be a positive time to be honest. Weight struggles have followed me my whole life no one can criticize you for taking control of your life they should applaud you.

Whatever you decide to do good luck with your weight loss journey.

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When I had lap band years ago, I tried to keep it secret but eventually it just seemed useless to try to keep it private. When I had it taken out, I could have shouted that off the roof tops I was so happy to be out of misery.

Now with the sleeve, I have chosen to be ultra private. Only my husband, 3 of my close friends, and my boss know. I haven't told my parents or my children and I plan to keep it that way, at least for a while. If at some point I start getting questions, I'll probably fess up. I'm not one to purposely misdirect or lie, but for now it's my secret and my journey.

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