“You don’t need that just go to the gym”

[AiyanaC 39]

Anyone else getting this reply? I’ve only told a few people about my surgery and most of them give me this response. One of the specialists even flat out said “I see people who really need it and you aren’t one of them” which was kinda discouraging. Am I taking the “easy way out”?

[Claudiarb 21]

Believe me, nothing easy about this journey...

[frust8 963]

No I don't think so, ain't nothing easy about the path to WL surgery.For me to do it by gym
My gym isn't 24 hours a day(1)
At my age I'd rip every joint muscle from its mooring(2)
I'd have a heart attack or stroke(3) Everybody would laugh at me trying to do a circuit wheezing all the way(4) My mamma didn't raise me to be that foolish and an object,of ridicule. Bah dump dump dump!

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[elforman 234]

Fortunately for me, I'm not shy about these kind of things. Only two people have responded like that to me, and each time I said something along the lines of "I'm sorry you thought I was asking for your opinion or advice. I was telling you what I have planned. If I'd wanted your input during my decision making process I'd have asked you then."

[frust8 963]

Amen Brother E, short, to the point & I hope from then on they minded their own bees-wax![emoji106]

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[Colleen M. 3]

Yeah, this is why I didn’t tell anyone outside of my supportive friend/family circle. I’m just a couple of days post-op, and this is definitely NOT an ”easy way out”. Don’t let their opinions get to you. You still have to put in all the hard work changing your lifestyle, your diet, and exercise.

[Creekimp13 5,841]

When someone has a heart bypass, are they taking the easy way out?

I mean, technically, if they eliminated all salt and fat from their diet, and did moderate exercise, and avoided stress...they'd be just fine. (or, you know, they might die...but that's just life)

And yet, no one says....they took the easy way out....when it's a heart bypass...even though clogged arteries are similarly a result of bad diet and bad genetics.

Fat is the last safe social prejudice. And people do love to judge.

Personally, I've enjoyed culling the people from my life who make negative ignorant remarks.

[frust8 963]

And, Creekimp, I have relished the fact I can now replace them with people who treat me in a decent manner, who lead by example instead of belittling me and any decisions I attempted to make, who accept me as I am , with flaws but still a good and worthwhile person. Sure I've removed a few but the ones to replace them are so much superior individuals. Thank you for being a new friend who has helped me on my journey![emoji14]

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[ThatgirlEmLo 20]

Anyone else getting this reply? I’ve only told a few people about my surgery and most of them give me this response. One of the specialists even flat out said “I see people who really need it and you aren’t one of them” which was kinda discouraging. Am I taking the “easy way out”?

I have heard similar comments directed at people other than myself and it breaks my heart. You chose who you want to tell, find your support system, whether its your family, friends, coworkers or even on here.. I havent told several people I know because of their ignorance and i just know they would have negative things to say. I have be told "oh well you don't look that big" and I think to myself well what does it matter what I look like if I feel like crap? Or if my health needs improvement? You're doing this for you, no one else! Keep your head up and if people find out (that you don't want to know) take their comments with a grain of salt and throw it out! Then come on here and get some positive encouragement from people going through what you are.. [emoji173] Best of luck, it'll be hard but it'll be great!

[TakingABreak 2,733]

I personally don't think there is anything easy about this process. You have to change ALL aspects of your life for this to work. I have had to change my emotional relationship with food for ever. I can no longer put things in my mouth without serious, serious consideration. I have developed a sense of distrust with food, because unless I've made it, I don't know what is REALLY in it. I have suffered with changed relationships, mostly for the worst. I have pushed myself physically in ways that I couldn't ever imagine. Now, for someone to say that this is the easy way out, I'll tell them to go to hell. BUT! Let me say this, I haven't regretted this decision at all.

[clsumrall 535]

Well said

[Luisajfc 402]

My mother did ... very annoying after the third time .. so I spoke to her .. let her know that I already DID try that.
Even after surgery and Me in pain she will tell me that it wasn’t gonna work and bla bla bla ... well now she is seeing the changes. You gotta be patience in this life.

[frust8 963]

And when you are thinner from your surgery etc you can say " nah nah na Nan na" under your breath![emoji13]

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[aNYCdb 310]

I'll defend these folks to some extent. They may be well meaning, but they really just don't understand. My wife was fully supportive, but she didn't understand really. Imagine if you ate 500 calories worth of food and were completely full, you can't understand how someone could eat a meal and then be hungry again in a couple hours. They can't understand what it's like to feel hungry when based on their benchmarks you shouldn't.

That isn't to say there aren't people who are more malicious and try to sabotage your success because either they are afraid to get the surgery themselves or they confuse you wanting to be healthier with you having a poor body image.

[BuzzVSG 252]

My parents were not supportive at first. Why you ask ? Because their knowledge of the surgery stemmed from My 600 lb Life. I was below 300 lbs and they thought I was too small. It took them speaking to my surgeon and see what I go through to get behind me.