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Secret sleevers?!



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I'm definitly keeping it close to the chest. Though I don't want to, I might tell my dad in the off chance something happens

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9 hours ago, TropicalBeachDoll said:


Same here As you, my husband and 2 friends know that I will be having the procedure done. My family is way to critical.

So far no one has figured it out or suspected. I've had several family dinners and a work luncheon. My sister commented on my small plate and I replied it's my diet, and she nodded and no one said anything else. whew! I'm really happy this is what I chose.

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I am also sharing that experience. Thank you for sharing


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I do think it's good to tell your emergency contact person in case something goes wrong.

I'm in the closet too. My Mum and half of my siblings know. And my hairdresser. Lol.

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I haven't told anyone nor do I plan to. Family was a large part of the reason I backed out of surgery 4 years ago. They all acted as if they had arrived for my wake. So, my adult children, sisters and mother will not be told, nor friends.

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That’s exactly what I don’t want including the scrutiny. I’m not saying a word. [emoji850]


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I do think it's good to tell your emergency contact person in case something goes wrong.
I'm in the closet too. My Mum and half of my siblings know. And my hairdresser. Lol.


Haha my hairdresser knows everything!


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@katebruin haha, me too! My hairdresser knows and I haven't even told my sister.

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I think you hit a chord there Kate B. I told two coworkers that are also overweight and they seem to not want to discuss it with me once they realized I had a scheduled surgery date and they wouldn't be able to change my mind. All three of us have been dieting the last three year with results and then gained it all back around the same time. I think they might feel like I will leave them behind once I have lost the weight and we won't have the big girl theme in common any more. I know I will always be the big girl in my head... hard to turn that switch off after being the tallest and biggest person in a room since kindergarten. There is so many psychological changes that go along with this journey that we are all on, that I have to remind myself daily it's going to be a life changing surgery.

We shouldn't feel ashamed of trying to be a healthier version of ourselves. If someone tells me I am taking the easy way, I would probably say.. actually the easy way would have been continuing my lifestyle and dying young.

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Only told close friends. Nobody else knows. I don’t even know if I care that they know.

I guess it’s just another opinion if people do not like the fact people have this surgery. Other’s judgments based off no factual basis or done out of negativity/spitefulness, or ignorance, isn’t going to make a dent in my day.

As long as I personally am healthy and happy, I think that’s what my focus ought to remain :)




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Had the procedure end of January and only told my husband and mother. Both are very supportive and I'm sure others would have been as well but decided to just tell them. I have 2 teenagers and didn't tell them. Luckily for me I had my gallbladder out at the same time so everyone thought that is why I went in for surgery. I only stayed in the hospital one night so it wasn't a big deal at all. I had surgery on a Thursday and was back at work on Monday and even went on a girls trip weekend 2 weeks after surgery (something I wouldn't recommend - I was way too exhausted) I've lost 45 lbs since January and contribute the weight loss to Lowcarb prior to gallbladder surgery and then being scared to eat after having gallbladder removed because how food might affect me while I'm out. Good Luck - my only recommendation is if you keep it a secret truly try not to tell that many - you don't want to put them in an uncomfortable position if someone ask them.

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This is the secret society we live in today. Without a doubt, I get more looks from women in the grocery store now, perhaps it is this tight shirt I wear and 32 jeans I wore in high school. On a serious note; I faced the same negativity and some pretty nasty comments supported by the rolling of their eyes. I find it is better to rise above their un-educated minds and take the high road, so they can hopefully change. If not, I will slowly disassociate from them and these people will be replaced and if they want to step in a ring I am happy to entertain that option as well.

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On 3/14/2018 at 9:47 PM, kaleia said:

Has anyone had this surgery and NOT told friends or family? I got sleeved 3/8 and have told 2 best friends. They both have gotten the surgery done 3 years ago. Every time I would bring up the topic of Bariatric surgery I would get the negative comments of “thats the easy way out” and “just exercise”. I don’t wanna hear anyone’s mouth. I’m not embarrassed about the surgery at all. I just don’t have many supportive people in my family.

That's my plan right now. When I mentioned it to my beatie that was the reply. My other friend planning to go with me

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I'm a secret sleever.

I told most people when I had the lap band procedure nine years ago. And many know that the band had to be removed last year. However, I am mostly estranged from my immediate family, and I work with many gossipy, bitchy people. My husband and a few friends know. I love my in-laws, but I didn't want to get into it - they don't know that the lap band failed last year.

As far as work - my supervisor and a few other people in my office know that I had abdominal surgery, and that's it.

The biggest busy-body at work is the only one who has mentioned anything my weight loss. I said yes, I've lost a bit, but I'm sure I'll gain it back ;-)

Yeah, I don't need the hassle. I want to keep my life judgment and drama free.

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I'm starting to feel like I've told to many friends, some are supportive others don't know what to say as a lot of them like me have struggled with trying to lose weight all of our lives. For me it's been a year process so not easy breezy :) i have had many other medical surgeries for some other health issues in my life, so not my first one. I tried again in January another diet lose alittle but once again struggled with keeping up the diet. In the end it is for a persons over all wellbeing and getting healthier that's my goal . you want people to support you , but some just can't , as it brings up all their issues around their own weight struggles. I'm set for May 7th! And ready to move forward with a healthier and fresh new start heading into my 50s. Also ,I had the lap band over 15 years ago in Mexico so I'm used to the plan after surgery , I did not like the band and it slipped so it was removed 6 years ago. I'm happy that finally i can have the sleeve now and grateful for the chance to a new beginning. Good Luck to all! :) Theres a lot of very informative info from other members so thats great as I and others go through the process.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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