Why is it a secret?

[UndercoverDiet 57]

I've seen so many people posting about not telling anyone about their surgery or being mad if someone finds out. I'm just curious why you don't want people to know? I've told basically everyone in my life. It's a huge deal to me. I'm excited about it and don't want to hide it. I'm not judging. Everyone is different, I'm just curious.

[kfulcer 31]

I agree. My thoughts are the more people know about what it's all about, the more supportive they become. It's fun to see the doubters go "Ohhhhh. I didn't know blah blah blah". We have an opportunity to educate people and possibly help someone else.

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[Tess530 37]

First, it's a medical procedure and private. If I were having any other medical procedure, hysterectomy, my ingrown toe nails fixed, whatever, I wouldn't tell everyone. Second, I just don't want to be judged for 'taking the easy way out', 'why don't you just watch what you eat and exercise more', or anything else a doubter would say. And to be brutally honest, I'm afraid that I will fail again.

It's weird because I am actually an outgoing person and involved in many community activities. I generally like people and am open with just about everything else. I'm just embarrassed about my weight.

Maybe one day I'll 'come out', but for now just my immediate family as we live together and I have to.

Edited November 21, 2017 by Tess530

[naturallyzee 292]

I'm one of the people who got angry when others found out. I'm not ashamed of having the procedure at all, but I feel it's a personal matter. I'm a very private person and like to keep things private. I don't announce that I'm having a pap smear or mammogram. I don't think it's anyone's business. Also I don't care to have anyone's opinion on what I do. I know myself. I would have hurt anyone's feelings for giving me advice on what I should have and could have done.

HW 330
SW 292
CW 189.2
GW below 200

[Frankette 95]

It's because its my business. It's private. I'm not the one that puts every little thing on Facebook either. I've had other medical surgical procedures done and never broadcasted it. My Husband, kids , mom and sister know.. thats my support . No one else needs to gossip. Telling others puts a giant magnifying glass on everything I do and Im not one for the spotlight.

[DaleCruse 756]

All the other surgical procedures listed here are invisible to other people. The weight loss associated with bariatric surgery is very visible. People are going to notice you're losing weight. You could tell them & control your own narrative or you could remain silent & let people dream up reasons you're losing weight. "Is she sick?! Do he have cancer?! I bet it's HIV!" Control your narrative or let others do it for you.

[Ms_Meli 17]

Both my mom and sister have each had WLS. Neither of them made the necessary changes and both lost a very minimal amount of weight. They were the only two people I told besides my husband. They were unsupportive. Both said it was a waste of my time and money and that I should just do it on my own. I figured that if 2 people who have been through it wouldn't support me, I didn't need to waste my time convincing anyone else. I live my life for me, my husband, and our kids: as long as we are in agreement, no other opinions matter. After surgery, when my weight loss is showing, I will proudly tell people.,

[UndercoverDiet 57]

Thank you everyone for the honest feedback. All points make sense to me. I do understand not discussing medical conditions and procedures. I'm just so excited about it I can't keep quiet.

[kfulcer 31]

While I choose to talk about it if it comes up, I absolutely respect each person's individual decision. Whatever you choose to do, just remember that you are strong and beautiful, and those that love you will do so no matter what!

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[Gen17 92]

I am telling more people now that I've had the surgery. I just have a lot of opinionated people in my life and didn't want the negativity. I am opening up now though since I've lost so much. Now, I don't care what they think so much. haha

[MissMeowsy 23]

Why is it any of anyone else's business?

Why would they care, and why would I want their input?

Honestly, I don't want anyone's opinions, comments, or questions.

Whether they like it or not should have no bearing on my decision making.

My health, my body, my choice.

As an adult, I don't need to justify or explain my actions to anyone.

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[summerset 5,265]

On 21.11.2017 at 3:03 PM, DaleCruse said:

All the other surgical procedures listed here are invisible to other people. The weight loss associated with bariatric surgery is very visible. People are going to notice you're losing weight.

This. People are going to notice anyway and some of them will be asking questions. Then you can either lie to them and make up a story of "lifestyle changes" and "healthy eating and exercise" or you can tell the truth. If you're lucky you can get away with "I don't want to talk about it" and let the rumors start.

I didn't broadcast but when asked about it I tell people I had surgery. It's a legitimate surgical procedure and not some dirty little secret one has to be ashamed about.

[summerset 5,265]

On 21.11.2017 at 3:03 PM, DaleCruse said:

.

Edited November 28, 2017 by summerset
Double post for some reason.

[MissMeowsy 23]

I control my narrative by refusing to quench the uncontrollable urge some people have to know things that don't affect them in the least. If it bothers people to not know, good.

Your answer implies that we should care more about what others think than maintaining our own sense of privacy and self.

I am visibly handicapped (totally unrelated to WLS). Those who need to know the whys and hows, do. Those who don't are free to wonder.

If someone thinks I'm sick on top everything else, that's okay. If they are nosy and "need" an answer, they're going to be deeply disappointed.

I've learned over the years not to answer questions about "what's wrong". I'm not here to make anyone feel better or to act as an example, or to be the "noble" handicapped person. If I had a nickel for every time someone said I was "brave" for doing everyday stuff, I could retire.

Ultimately, none of their "concern" makes my life (or theirs) any better. Answering inane questions about my weight, my handicap, or any other exterior condition wastes my time and doesn't fix anything. I'm still handicapped either way.

All the other surgical procedures listed here are invisible to other people. The weight loss associated with bariatric surgery is very visible. People are going to notice you're losing weight. You could tell them & control your own narrative or you could remain silent & let people dream up reasons you're losing weight. "Is she sick?! Do he have cancer?! I bet it's HIV!" Control your narrative or let others do it for you.

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[summerset 5,265]

26 minutes ago, MissMeowsy said:

Honestly, I don't want anyone's opinions, comments, or questions.

The problem is: you're going to get them anyway.