As much as my life post bariatric surgery has changed for the better, in many ways wls is still a struggle for me. Sometimes I worry it will always be this way. Feeling “normal” again- maybe I’ll never feel that again. In 20 years I will still be the same as I am now and what are the long term repercussions on my health?
I really struggle with food. Protein is a constant challenge. I find it very very difficult to eat dense protein. It gets stuck so easily, even if I take care to chew the f**k out of it. Chicken and I- not friends. Fish is very challenging. Steak is easier but still, it can go badly. I can’t count the number of times I’ve puked up dense protein.
You know that rule, eat your protein first? If I did this I would still be anorexically thin. Once I take a couple bites of protein my restriction is so high I can possibly eat any more. Three bites and done. That’s about it.
Lately everything I eat gives me horrid gas. I’m constantly constipated. I try to get enough water but drinking between meals, when I need to eat at least six meals a day to get enough calories, is incredibly difficult. When I drink with my meals it’s a gamble as to wether I will dump or throw up, so I try not to. But in my busy busy life I find it so hard to drink outside of my 6 meals, to grab that bottle of water and get it down when my stomach still only takes sips even after so many years out. I get incredibly thirsty when I eat as well. It’s exhausting.
I’m hungry so often. Not physically hungry, although that happens too. But more of a mental hunger or a deep physical anatomical hunger that just feels like I can never really get enough food. I can never, or very very rarely, get quite enough that my body feels truly fed. I’m always in this limbo of not quite satisfied. My stomach prevents me from eating even if my body wants and needs more. I watch other people eat and I envy them. I miss the feeling of true satisfaction and resent the feeling of restriction, especially when I know my body really needs more food!!
Sugar and I- we have a very mixed relationship. I love sugar and I don’t fear it will make me gain weight. Carbs are easier for me to digest than protein and so I rely on the a lot to get the calories I need to not become skeletal again. But carbs can often give me dumping syndrome. I’m constantly playing a game of Russian roulette. Will I dump after this meal? Tonight I dumped horrible after a meal of a turkey sandwich and raspberries. I assume it was the raspberries. It’s a constant condition, one that I go through really hard times over and while sometimes I want to just say- ok! No more carbs- see above issues with protein.
Following the “rules” doesn’t provide a solution to me. Protein is too hard to get down. Water is so hard to get in. My calorie needs are high. I’m having jaw problems now from the stress on my jaw from so much chewing. I’ve seen my surgeon- he says no sugar.
So what’s left for me to eat safely! Protein shakes? That’s not realistic. And I can barely keep weight on as it is.
What can I swallow and know 100% it won’t get stuck and I won’t dump.
So many people on these forums painting the perfect picture of life after wls. And those feeling like failures when they don’t lose weight.
Well I’m a “success story”. I’m thin.
And I struggle Every. Single. Day.
I wish people would talk more openly and honestly about the long term effects of wls and what it’s like to live with it. What’s it like in an imperfect world for an imperfect person.
My best friend had wls and we talk all the time about these things. It’s nice that I have someone who gets it. When people are considering wls they only want to see the positives but they don’t understand the choice they are making.
Would I make this choice again? Would I trade my health and freedom with food for a day in the body I have now? Probably.
But I’m not sure what that says about me.
Will you do the same? Think about it.
I’m not saying don’t have surgery. I’m not saying I would go back into my old body. That body had lots of problems too. My mind, my body, my life.. I’ll take it now. But wls isn’t for everyone. I’ve had a few friends chose not to do it, and at the time I didn’t understand their decision. In the honeymoon stage you’re on a weight loss high. I rode that high for a long long time. But now.. years out I’m beginning to understand.
Today was a rough day. I have better ones. It would be nice to have a place to get some support for the hard things we go through. Most other people in my life, they can’t understand. For me, having wls is living in a body with chronic digestive illness.
Today was pretty difficult for me.
As much as my life post bariatric surgery has changed for the better, in many ways wls is still a struggle for me. Sometimes I worry it will always be this way. Feeling “normal” again- maybe I’ll never feel that again. In 20 years I will still be the same as I am now and what are the long term repercussions on my health?
I really struggle with food. Protein is a constant challenge. I find it very very difficult to eat dense protein. It gets stuck so easily, even if I take care to chew the f**k out of it. Chicken and I- not friends. Fish is very challenging. Steak is easier but still, it can go badly. I can’t count the number of times I’ve puked up dense protein.
You know that rule, eat your protein first? If I did this I would still be anorexically thin. Once I take a couple bites of protein my restriction is so high I can possibly eat any more. Three bites and done. That’s about it.
Lately everything I eat gives me horrid gas. I’m constantly constipated. I try to get enough water but drinking between meals, when I need to eat at least six meals a day to get enough calories, is incredibly difficult. When I drink with my meals it’s a gamble as to wether I will dump or throw up, so I try not to. But in my busy busy life I find it so hard to drink outside of my 6 meals, to grab that bottle of water and get it down when my stomach still only takes sips even after so many years out. I get incredibly thirsty when I eat as well. It’s exhausting.
I’m hungry so often. Not physically hungry, although that happens too. But more of a mental hunger or a deep physical anatomical hunger that just feels like I can never really get enough food. I can never, or very very rarely, get quite enough that my body feels truly fed. I’m always in this limbo of not quite satisfied. My stomach prevents me from eating even if my body wants and needs more. I watch other people eat and I envy them. I miss the feeling of true satisfaction and resent the feeling of restriction, especially when I know my body really needs more food!!
Sugar and I- we have a very mixed relationship. I love sugar and I don’t fear it will make me gain weight. Carbs are easier for me to digest than protein and so I rely on the a lot to get the calories I need to not become skeletal again. But carbs can often give me dumping syndrome. I’m constantly playing a game of Russian roulette. Will I dump after this meal? Tonight I dumped horrible after a meal of a turkey sandwich and raspberries. I assume it was the raspberries. It’s a constant condition, one that I go through really hard times over and while sometimes I want to just say- ok! No more carbs- see above issues with protein.
Following the “rules” doesn’t provide a solution to me. Protein is too hard to get down. Water is so hard to get in. My calorie needs are high. I’m having jaw problems now from the stress on my jaw from so much chewing. I’ve seen my surgeon- he says no sugar.
So what’s left for me to eat safely! Protein shakes? That’s not realistic. And I can barely keep weight on as it is.
What can I swallow and know 100% it won’t get stuck and I won’t dump.
So many people on these forums painting the perfect picture of life after wls. And those feeling like failures when they don’t lose weight.
Well I’m a “success story”. I’m thin.
And I struggle Every. Single. Day.
I wish people would talk more openly and honestly about the long term effects of wls and what it’s like to live with it. What’s it like in an imperfect world for an imperfect person.
My best friend had wls and we talk all the time about these things. It’s nice that I have someone who gets it. When people are considering wls they only want to see the positives but they don’t understand the choice they are making.
Would I make this choice again? Would I trade my health and freedom with food for a day in the body I have now? Probably.
But I’m not sure what that says about me.
Will you do the same? Think about it.
I’m not saying don’t have surgery. I’m not saying I would go back into my old body. That body had lots of problems too. My mind, my body, my life.. I’ll take it now. But wls isn’t for everyone. I’ve had a few friends chose not to do it, and at the time I didn’t understand their decision. In the honeymoon stage you’re on a weight loss high. I rode that high for a long long time. But now.. years out I’m beginning to understand.
Today was a rough day. I have better ones. It would be nice to have a place to get some support for the hard things we go through. Most other people in my life, they can’t understand. For me, having wls is living in a body with chronic digestive illness.