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I have been told by multiple people (friends, family and coworkers) that I am getting slim and shouldn't lose much more weight (like maybe 20 more lbs max). I'm at 197 right now and want to hit 130 (and this is my max, I ideally want to get smaller). I'm not even 5 feet tall but a number of people have said that I shouldn't want to lose my "thickness". I don't get it. I can't wrap my head around this obsession with "thickness". At 130 I'd still be considered overweight. I don't even like the way I look right now so it boggles my mind to have people say that I look good this way. Has anyone else experienced this?

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This is a common phenomenon in the African-American community.

Many of our peoples' perceptions regarding body image are whacked. In essence, the lower end of the plus sizes (12, 14 and 16) have become the new normal. Anything smaller is "too skinny."

I'm 5'1 and about 120 pounds with a BMI of 22. I like how I look, yet many people in the black community feel I'm too "skinny" and need to become thicker.

On the other hand, my white acquaintances comment that I look healthy and good. In general, obesity is more socially acceptable in the black community.

What matters is your personal goals, your health, and where you want to be.

Don't allow other people to define you. In all likelihood, the people making the comments need to look in the mirror and engage in some self-improvement. Good luck to you.

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@LiciKitty Honestly, I've been on both ends of the spectrum. 2013-2014 I weighed 145-150 and I thought I looked too skinny but that was technically slightly overweight for my height. I personally think I'd be happy at 155-160. I like my curves and don't want to lose my tits and ass lol I feel sexy when I have some curves. Also, I'm about 186-187 now but I Love myself more now than I did at 145. I Had maaaaajorrrr body issues when I was around 145. I'm starting to love myself more and more as I lose and I honestly think I'd be happy at 160, but I know I need to be around 145-150 to be healthier.

I also don't think that everyone should go by a chart and judge what is healthy and what isn't because everyone's bodies look totally different. I'm 186 but people think I weigh 165 right now because of the way it's proportioned...I could look totally different than another woman who weighs 186 as well.

It's really about your happiness and where you're happy with what's on the scale and what's in the mirror. Other people's perception of you isn't as important as your own.

Who cares if you're not thick? That doesn't define beauty. It's really crazy that body types like Kim Kardashian or Nicki Minaj have become the definition of beauty or perfect body. Like normal women aren't made like that and alllllll these women are striving for a body like that or think that that is beauty when really, they didn't even come like that...LOL

It's actually really sad that the Kardashians and Jenners have made such an influence in society that they just did a study and said because of them, they have completely made plastic surgery normalized in society and girls that are 16 all the way through their early twenties think that they need plastic surgery in order to achieve a look like those families.

It's crazy that soooo many young women would want to look like other people rather than embracing their natural beauty

JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. DO YOU BOO! lol

Edited by sleevedshereen

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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