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Judgemental comments



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Hi everyone! I'm currently going through my appointments pre-op, I do not have a surgery date set yet but I am beyond ecstatic to start my journey! Only thing is... it seems like the more excited I am, the more judgmental comments I get from family about it. I hear things like "Oh, you could do this on your own..this is the easy way out" or "are you sure? Have you even looked at the risks" (like I haven't been researching for months!) Or my sister even said to my mom last week "we need to talk her out of this, she's being dumb she hasnt tried hard enough." Seriosuly?! Mind you, I've been 'chubby' since I was 7. I've yoyo dieted my ENTIRE life. My smallest weight as an adult was 230 for my wedding and I gave it my all! Ive tried literally everything under the sun and its an illness that ive decided to tackle with the help of this tool. I feel like all my life I've had insecurities because of my weight and now that I've decided to move forward with the sleeve and feel confident my family isn't being very supportive. Anyone else experience this judgement from family and friends? How did you handle it?

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Hi one thing I advise you to do is stop caring what everyone else thinks or how they feel this is your life and your decision you must live with the effects of being heavy not them and if it was that simple that u didn't try hard enough it's ridiculous those that haven't had this problem cannot understand it you do what you need to do not what others think or feel you should do I will say one thing though this is a tool not a miracle it will help you lose weight you will still need to decide to eat right excercise etc in order to maintain the loss but pls make your own decision don't let others decide for you how you live your life

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Only my immediate family and my boss knows that I'm having this surgery right now. They have all been very supportive so far. I'm 56 years old and decided along time ago to not worry about what other people think or say when it comes to my life (or anything really). You know your body and what you have tried and what you need to do. Be strong and don't let others affect your decision. It took me 2 years to finally make my decision. I feel like I tried everything and the weight just keeps adding on. I'm still about 3.5 weeks until my surgery. I'm apprehensive, but excited and hopeful for my future healthier self!

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You are right, I shouldn't care what people have to say about it. My family and my boss are the only ones who know as well. Funny, my boss was very supportive and my family is the one with reservations and comments about the entire thing. This has also taken me over a year to move forward. I gave it my all and then decided this is what is right for me. It's easy for someone who has never struggled with weight judge and I should know not to let things bother me. But it differnt with family, you let it effect you more wishing they would understand. Thanks for your supportive comments!

Sent from my SM-J700T using BariatricPal mobile app

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I find people will always have something to say whether u are a curvy girl or a skinny girl which is why i have not told anyone other than my kids an fiance. You are doing this for you an no one else and a healthier living therefore no ones opinion matters. This is your journey so go into it with a clear mind not worrying about judgemental people an very soon they will hush up when they realize u could care less what they think[emoji5]. GOOD LUCK!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

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@Tinabinab Try as best you can - make sure you bring it up at the psych eval (if you have one). He/she can give you guidance on dealing with this type thing. I would caution you - some may 'up the ante' as you lose weight and gain confidence to speak up for yourself by sabotaging your success - it will come with fake concern - ' you are thin enough, stop losing weight' or 'since you lost weight, we never go to lunch anymore' or any number of barbed wire insults. You need statements practiced so you won't get hurt or let it lead to emotional eating.

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Opinions are like butts...everybody has one. What you are doing is right for you. I had a few naysayers giving their 2 cents at the beginning of my journey. I too have been fluffy my whole life and have yo yo'd and tried every program, plan, and fad diet under the sun, with the same result each time...defeat. I'm about halfway through my journey now, and can tell you this is the best thing I could have done for myself. Sometimes you have to turn a deaf ear to loved ones who think they know what is best for you. A year from now they will be the same ones marveling at your progress. In the meantime, don't let the muggles get you down.

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This is exactly why I have only told my partner (who is also getting the sleeve) and my daughters. My Mom would be in the "just eat right and exercise" camp, and at work I do not want to be the "She lost weight...oh, well, she had the surgery...." as if it was just an easy way out. I would just try to focus on how proud you should be for valuing yourself, and making this brave move. I feel like doing this is going to prevent, possibly, diabetes, high BP, all kinds of issues. Congrats on making this choice, and try to minimize the importance of those comments.

Another thing, maybe have a very frank talk, and tell them "This is a choice for me and my health, and I no longer want to hear any commentary about it. Please respect me and my decision and stop"

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