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Has anyone kept their surgery a secret?



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The first year post op can be an emotional time and people can be extra sensitive it's best to not have to defend yourself or hear negative comments. You want and need support at that time so from my experience the less you tell the better. I had a friend tell people she had gallbladder surgery... I think it's about the same time off. And she didn't get bombarded with questions and opinions.


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I understand it can be emotional, I have had a few friends that have had WLS, but I also never feel like I have to defend myself to anyone about anything. That's the joy of being an adult. I also accept that my relationships with some individuals may change, but that's expected.


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I understand it can be emotional, I have had a few friends that have had WLS, but I also never feel like I have to defend myself to anyone about anything. That's the joy of being an adult. I also accept that my relationships with some individuals may change, but that's expected.




I'm very happy you have found what works for you!!

And yes 2 years post op I've noticed relationships do change but usually it's just growing pains and people adjust in time. I haven't lost any friends and have gained many!! But some family members have issues still but that's their issue.


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I kept it secret for a week then told everyone in the world. It's liberating. And I hate how effective wls is but no one talks about it, so maybe I can educate some people. Now, I don't know how I would make it without their support. My friends have been so amazing, it's strengthened my relationships. I'm lucky.


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I have only told my husband, children, parents and one sister who has had the surgery. I'm not intentionally keeping it from others in my family but I am intentionally keeping it from my in-laws. My MIL would be supportive but she is a blabber mouth but doesn't mean to be. Its my competitive SIL who thinks she's a princess. It was ridiculous when I was thin. She only gave me the time of day once I gained weight. She is so bizarre. She would see it as me trying to outdo her or something. I just don't play her games and want to avoid it altogether. People do get weird when you tell them about it. SMH!

Ta Rena

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i wished I never told some people but at the end of the day this is my body and my life so im gonna do whats best for me.

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I thought I was the only one concerned with sharing -- I'm not planning on telling anyone but husband and (adult) kids -- and I haven't even told my kids my plans yet!! I broached the topic with my mother once when I was thinking about it, and she was aghast, so, nope, not discussing with her. For work, I think I'll just take a 2 week "vacation", and if I am really lucky, I may be able to time this over the Christmas break. We shall see :-)

Edited by DoodleLover203

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I only told a few family members and that's it. I'm sure I'll share with more maybe later on :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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