I won't follow the herd any more...

Nancy B · October 15, 2007

So you just decided to come to LBT cuz it's a fun place and serendipitously there was a post about imposters on R&R followed by Laurens other thread? Wow what are the odds of that?
I think it's been made pretty clear that this thread is R&R and debate happens here. There is tons of support and great info on LBT but a thread called Rants and Raves is probably not the first place to look for it. I think you, Nancy and LaraNicole came to this forum and R&R looking for exactly what you found. I invited Work because I like her and I wanted her to know the truth about Sandy.

I've been reading here for months without joining. I only jumped in because my name was mentioned on a post. Nothing sinister here. I belong to several groups, as well as Moderate on a lot of them. You're likely to find me in lots of places.

Wendell Edwards · October 15, 2007

:deadhorse:
:cool:

Exactly.

(I have to add this in order for this to post)

Wendell Edwards · October 15, 2007

Do you honestly expect us to believe that y'all weren't passing PMs and emails around like candy? Seriously? Enough has been said here and at OH that we all know that isn't true. I am getting sick and tired of the "poor Sandy" routine that you guys have going. We're supposed to believe that Wendell is the root of all evil, apparently. Give me a fucking break. While none of us here have pretended that Wendell was an angel, he certainly didn't force Sandy to act the way she did and he didn't force you guys to act the way you did. And while I can understand not wanting to admit just how bad Sandy's actions were (after all, she pretended to be your friend, I guess), I can't understand the focus that you guys seem to have on believing that Wendell forced her into anything. Guess what? She is an adult. She could have put him on "block" on OH, and so could you guys. So what that he posted about Protein Shakes? Who cares? If you don't like to read someone's posts, DON'T.

I just love logic, don't you?

Wendell Edwards · October 15, 2007

#3 I could have sworn somebody over here told me this was a caring, supportive group of people. So far I have seen little of that - please show me that the pack mentality doesn't exist over here. _________________
Are you kidding me! I usually don't get involved in this crap. Actually I never do. But come on now. You did not come to this site to meet supportive, caring people. You came here for exactly what your getting and the only reason your still here is because you are enjoying it. If you wanted to find support here you would have. This board DOES NOT have a pack mentality, but your doing your best to change that aren't you!

Precisely.

(And here's the additional words to get it posted)

skmsu · October 15, 2007

Rants and Raves seems to be where the most entertaining posts are, and I mean that seriously. I just want to move forward from all the Sandy talk. I don't CARE anymore about what happened before. I just want to be able to actively participate in LBT, not just the R&R section. This is a huge place with many interests. Why do you continue to push? Is it so that I will leave? If that is it, just say so. And thanks for inviting Work - she is an amazing person in real life too. I promise I can be a nice person.

No body wants you to leave, and I am sure you are a nice person. We are not trying to push. I think that what some of us want here, that we most likely will never get, is for just one person who promoted Sandy, posted a link to her web page, did a shout out to her, gave her kudos for all of her advice, etc. for just one of the many people who did one of those things to have the balls to stand up now and say that she was wrong on that same forum. Geeze the woman spent half of a thread telling me that I chose the wrong doc. She does not know me or my doc (who is absolutely wonderful by the way) but several folks through their support of her dogma gave her some sort of authority to do stuff like that. There are people she sent PM's to telling them they were mentally ill (not the obvious one) and all kinds of inappropriate crap like that. It would be so refreshingly nice for just one of the people who never stood up while we had that crap thrown at us to stand up now. Just one...

LaraNicole · October 15, 2007

This is my first post here and I am probably going to get flamed, but in light of all I read here regarding LBT and their treatment of others fairly maybe I won't be flamed.

Yes, I did "call out" Lauren on a thread on OH several months ago. This came right after the "Coven" banter was going around. Everyone was questing whether Lauren and Kabuki were the same person or if they were in fact Dee. What I did was ask this publicly of Lauren. Then she was gone. I have had a several chances since then to speak with Wasa(Kabucki). I have found our communication to be very open and and I have thanked her for talking to me. We discussed several things from who she is and the sockpuppets and she helped when Dee came back. She also talked to me regarding my thyroid cancer and I think our last discussion was on calories, I think. Before these conversations I did not know her and I feel grateful for her honesty with me. I have also not jumped into the fray against her on OH over the whole Sandy issue.

On that note I will let you know how I feel regarding this issue. For a long time I had problems with Sandy. We often clashed when it came to medical info regarding Vitamins because she claimed that bandsters could not be deficient - when I was. Chelle knows about all this because I would tell her how upset I was with Sandy. Did I do a whole 360 on her and decide that I just loved her...NO. Do I trust what she says or do I ask my own dr. or luck up information for myself, yes.

OK, so why did I get angry at Wendell over Sandy? I didn't at first. Wendell and I were very good friends and if you need PMs to prove this I can send them. I really really liked him tremendously and Chelle can prove this as well because I told her how good of friends we were. What happened? Well, he starting making fun of several friends of mine mainly Christine N. and I personally asked him to stop. He said no. Right after this he began his attack on Sandy. I stayed out of it for a while because I didn't support either side, but then I just got mad at him. Why? I dunno and I wish I had just stayed out of . I think I was hurt that our friendship had meant so little to him. Did you know that the night before my thyroid cancer surgery he was the one person that calmed me down enough to sleep that night? Anyway, I did some petty things or typed some rather. BUT, it was not because I just thought everything Sandy said was right there were a few things he was saying that I thought were wrong. He posted about eating candy and drinking shakes and losing weight and I just thought that was not right, but alas I should have stayed out of it. Why should I care?

So this leads me to asking Wendell for prove about Sandy. He posted that anyone could ask for prove and he would give it. He never said if you do this I will post it all over my myspace account. That was not fair. And yes, I got mad at him. I think anyone would. And until today until I read what Dr. Neal's office sent I did not see anything that terribly wrong. Who really cares if she stole a coat, not that I condone coat stealing, but really now. I do not like the email she was circulating about Wendell and I did not see that until today either. I wish he had sent me that when I asked for prove. I think that puts her in a precarious situation and she should not have done that. And that is my honest opinion.

Now, I am pregnant and very high risk. I have dr appts every other week and they poke and prode and are trying to keep this baby in. So far everything looks awesome. Although I have had quite a bit of pain on the right side of my neck recently and am scheduled for another ultrasound to check that out. The dr. told me that they wouldn't do a biopsy while I was pregnant, but WTH? it could be more cancer so I am kinda scared about that. SO that is what is going on with me. I barely post on OH any more because I am alseep alot and busy the rest of the time.

Lauren - I am sorry for whatever pain I caused you and I wish you had not left OH so that I could have talked to you then. I know you think I am a pyscho bitch, but I hope you won't think of me that way some day. I hold no ill will towards you at all. Once I got to talk to Wasa everything made a lot more sense to me. I am just sorry that you got caught up in any of the mess. At that time there was a lot of paranoia regarding Dee/Vicki.

Wendell from the bottom of my heart I thank you for the story you told me that helped me through my surgery. It was truly a Godsend that night.

I hope you all see this in the intention it is being sent. I could have kept quiet and never said a word, but I want you all to know how I feel instead of just speculating about it from time to time. Thank you for the chance to get this all out.

LaraNicole

WASaBubbleButt · October 15, 2007

Your claim about OH having a "pack mentality" and LBT not having one is getting weak. You 3 needed to discuss whether or not to respond to private mail I sent to Wendell???? Think about that one.
Again, and I am sorry if I keep repeating myself (is anyone listening?), I am not "you guys" or "them". I am not OH. Quit lumping me in with people who you think I belong with. I have never seen a PM from any of you in question. Not sure who's passing junk around, but I haven't seen it.

We didn't need three to discuss it. Wendell wasn't interested in responding to you. He asked me if I wanted to. I ultimately said no. I asked Lauren if she wanted to supply you with the info. She didn't either. That's it, no drama, no fun, no glee.

Your email just wasn't that special, Nancy. It wasn't full of fun and gossip as you make it sound. It was pretty generic. None of us knew if your email was genuine in the sense that you actually wanted the info or if it was to play games. Since nobody knew we all declined to provide you with what you asked for to avoid drama.

So as you can see, it was not as you make it sound.

skmsu · October 15, 2007

This is my first post here and I am probably going to get flamed, but in light of all I read here regarding LBT and their treatment of others fairly maybe I won't be flamed.
Yes, I did "call out" Lauren on a thread on OH several months ago. This came right after the "Coven" banter was going around. Everyone was questing whether Lauren and Kabuki were the same person or if they were in fact Dee. What I did was ask this publicly of Lauren. Then she was gone. I have had a several chances since then to speak with Wasa(Kabucki). I have found our communication to be very open and and I have thanked her for talking to me. We discussed several things from who she is and the sockpuppets and she helped when Dee came back. She also talked to me regarding my thyroid cancer and I think our last discussion was on calories, I think. Before these conversations I did not know her and I feel grateful for her honesty with me. I have also not jumped into the fray against her on OH over the whole Sandy issue.

On that note I will let you know how I feel regarding this issue. For a long time I had problems with Sandy. We often clashed when it came to medical info regarding Vitamins because she claimed that bandsters could not be deficient - when I was. Chelle knows about all this because I would tell her how upset I was with Sandy. Did I do a whole 360 on her and decide that I just loved her...NO. Do I trust what she says or do I ask my own dr. or luck up information for myself, yes.

OK, so why did I get angry at Wendell over Sandy? I didn't at first. Wendell and I were very good friends and if you need PMs to prove this I can send them. I really really liked him tremendously and Chelle can prove this as well because I told her how good of friends we were. What happened? Well, he starting making fun of several friends of mine mainly Christine N. and I personally asked him to stop. He said no. Right after this he began his attack on Sandy. I stayed out of it for a while because I didn't support either side, but then I just got mad at him. Why? I dunno and I wish I had just stayed out of . I think I was hurt that our friendship had meant so little to him. Did you know that the night before my thyroid cancer surgery he was the one person that calmed me down enough to sleep that night? Anyway, I did some petty things or typed some rather. BUT, it was not because I just thought everything Sandy said was right there were a few things he was saying that I thought were wrong. He posted about eating candy and drinking shakes and losing weight and I just thought that was not right, but alas I should have stayed out of it. Why should I care?

So this leads me to asking Wendell for prove about Sandy. He posted that anyone could ask for prove and he would give it. He never said if you do this I will post it all over my myspace account. That was not fair. And yes, I got mad at him. I think anyone would. And until today until I read what Dr. Neal's office sent I did not see anything that terribly wrong. Who really cares if she stole a coat, not that I condone coat stealing, but really now. I do not like the email she was circulating about Wendell and I did not see that until today either. I wish he had sent me that when I asked for prove. I think that puts her in a precarious situation and she should not have done that. And that is my honest opinion.

Now, I am pregnant and very high risk. I have dr appts every other week and they poke and prode and are trying to keep this baby in. So far everything looks awesome. Although I have had quite a bit of pain on the right side of my neck recently and am scheduled for another ultrasound to check that out. The dr. told me that they wouldn't do a biopsy while I was pregnant, but WTH? it could be more cancer so I am kinda scared about that. SO that is what is going on with me. I barely post on OH any more because I am alseep alot and busy the rest of the time.

Lauren - I am sorry for whatever pain I caused you and I wish you had not left OH so that I could have talked to you then. I know you think I am a pyscho bitch, but I hope you won't think of me that way some day. I hold no ill will towards you at all. Once I got to talk to Wasa everything made a lot more sense to me. I am just sorry that you got caught up in any of the mess. At that time there was a lot of paranoia regarding Dee/Vicki.

Wendell from the bottom of my heart I thank you for the story you told me that helped me through my surgery. It was truly a Godsend that night.

I hope you all see this in the intention it is being sent. I could have kept quiet and never said a word, but I want you all to know how I feel instead of just speculating about it from time to time. Thank you for the chance to get this all out.

LaraNicole

LaraNicole, thank you so much for being so open and honest and posting this. I wish you all the best with your baby and your health.

WASaBubbleButt · October 15, 2007

Rants and Raves seems to be where the most entertaining posts are, and I mean that seriously. ...

I agree with this and I still maintain that this might be one reason I feel that OH sucks so bad. There is no place to be bare ass'd honest and tell it like it is without the game playing required by OH rules.

On this section we debate, even bicker a little sometimes, discuss the strangest of strange, it's totally acceptable to discuss the two topics of horror, religion and politics.

Let's face it, most of the newcomers to any banding site are newbies. I don't mean newbies to the site but newbies to banding. We all answer the same questions over and over and over again. I can list the topics that are posted on a daily basis:

I want to get banded, what does banded mean?

What can I eat?

How much of it can I eat?

I can't live without bread.< /p>

I will absolutely DIE A LONG HORRIBLE DEATH if I can't drink Soda.

Will I really be full?

Does it hurt?

I just got a surgery date, YEA!

I am having surgery tomorrow, YEA!

I had surgery yesterday, I feel gassy.

I am in more pain than LABOR pains from the gas! OMG!

I'm not losing weight/I'm losing too much weight from Clear Liquids.< /p>

I have no restriction, why am I not losing weight?

I love/hate my doctor.

Do fills hurt? I'm afraid of needles.

I needed a fill 6 months ago and haven't gotten one, I'm not losing. Why?

I eat ice cream, chocolate, and pie. I can't figure out why I don't lose.

I take big bites, don't chew well, and eat fast. I barf, do I need an unfill?

I'm on a plateau.

I only eat 137 calories a day, I SWEAR! And I'm gaining, why?

I've been banded for a year and can't lose. Do I really need to exercise?

Okay, those are all necessary questions and as those that have been there and done that we have a responsibility to provide answers and support. We got it when we were newbies, now we owe it to the future bandies.

But, R&R is a free for all. We can discuss all the evils of the world, we can laugh (in FUN!) at one another... the kind of laughing where even the one being teased is laughing because it IS in fun, we poke one another with dull pointy sticks instead of sharp pointy sticks that hurt, it's a hang out place that is multi-functional.

The newbie OHer's over here (and I mean new to the site) don't have much of a history here. There is little trust between either side as I see it. I think it's going to take some time before trust develops on both sides. There is bad history on OH. Well, this is LBT. You guys (and I mean newbies from OH) are going to have to spend a little time over here, develop a history... a LBT history just like the rest of us did. Some are not going to like you and some are. You are going to like some of us and not like others. That's life, that's how it is in real time too.

Seems to me that you are coming over here and essentially saying, "Okay, I did SOME of that stuff but I am not responsible for what everyone else did." And some here are saying, "You were part of a horrible situation that we don't like." Even if in a passive aggressive style.

So all in all I think you need to go through the same stages as the rest of us, develop a history, back off on the defensive behaviors, get to know us OVER HERE as this board does have a vastly different mentality, and if you like us... stick around. If you don't, stick with OH or wherever you choose.

That's my take on it, I don't speak for anyone else.

Nancy B · October 15, 2007

We didn't need three to discuss it. Wendell wasn't interested in responding to you. He asked me if I wanted to. I ultimately said no. I asked Lauren if she wanted to supply you with the info. She didn't either. That's it, no drama, no fun, no glee.
Your email just wasn't that special, Nancy. It wasn't full of fun and gossip as you make it sound. It was pretty generic. None of us knew if your email was genuine in the sense that you actually wanted the info or if it was to play games. Since nobody knew we all declined to provide you with what you asked for to avoid drama.

So as you can see, it was not as you make it sound.

It's really hard to respond when you keep adding things. Did I say my e-mail was special or full of gossip? Where is this coming from? Lauren has already quoted it. Wendell said he would send out proof if people e-mailed him. So I requested him too. He chose not to.

WASaBubbleButt · October 15, 2007

It's really hard to respond when you keep adding things. Did I say my e-mail was special or full of gossip? Where is this coming from? Lauren has already quoted it. Wendell said he would send out proof if people e-mailed him. So I requested him too. He chose not to.

::::

I did not claim you said that, here is what I wrote:

It wasn't full of fun and gossip as you make it sound.

(emphasis added)

Chelle B · October 15, 2007

No body wants you to leave, and I am sure you are a nice person. We are not trying to push. I think that what some of us want here, that we most likely will never get, is for just one person who promoted Sandy, posted a link to her web page, did a shout out to her, gave her kudos for all of her advice, etc. for just one of the many people who did one of those things to have the balls to stand up now and say that she was wrong on that same forum. Geeze the woman spent half of a thread telling me that I chose the wrong doc. She does not know me or my doc (who is absolutely wonderful by the way) but several folks through their support of her dogma gave her some sort of authority to do stuff like that. There are people she sent PM's to telling them they were mentally ill (not the obvious one) and all kinds of inappropriate crap like that. It would be so refreshingly nice for just one of the people who never stood up while we had that crap thrown at us to stand up now. Just one...

I understand. I really do. I waited for a long long time for an apology or acknowledgment when I was wronged on OH. I sent a PM asking about it so that I could at least understand. It divided people. But no response to me ever. And you know what, it freakin' still bugs me. And the fact that it bugs me, well that bugs me even more!

Ask me about anybody else, just not Sandy or Wendell. I will most likely answer it openly. Hey and if we ever meet up, as some of us did in Reno, well I am sure you will hear me tell more than you ever want to hear. But not here, not in writing. For me to stand up and say anything (and you can't be sure just what I would say) would open the door to even more grief on many sides. That is why I made the commitment to put it behind me. I hope you can understand. Thanks.

wrk-n-prgrss · October 15, 2007

I agree with this and I still maintain that this might be one reason I feel that OH sucks so bad. There is no place to be bare ass'd honest and tell it like it is without the game playing required by OH rules.
On this section we debate, even bicker a little sometimes, discuss the strangest of strange, it's totally acceptable to discuss the two topics of horror, religion and politics.

Let's face it, most of the newcomers to any banding site are newbies. I don't mean newbies to the site but newbies to banding. We all answer the same questions over and over and over again. I can list the topics that are posted on a daily basis:

I want to get banded, what does banded mean?

What can I eat?

How much of it can I eat?

I can't live without bread.< /p>
I will absolutely DIE A LONG HORRIBLE DEATH if I can't drink Soda.

Will I really be full?

Does it hurt?

I just got a surgery date, YEA!

I am having surgery tomorrow, YEA!

I had surgery yesterday, I feel gassy.

I am in more pain than LABOR pains from the gas! OMG!

I'm not losing weight/I'm losing too much weight from clear liquids.< /p>
I have no restriction, why am I not losing weight?

I love/hate my doctor.

Do fills hurt? I'm afraid of needles.

I needed a fill 6 months ago and haven't gotten one, I'm not losing. Why?

I eat ice cream, chocolate, and pie. I can't figure out why I don't lose.

I take big bites, don't chew well, and eat fast. I barf, do I need an unfill?

I'm on a plateau.

I only eat 137 calories a day, I SWEAR! And I'm gaining, why?

I've been banded for a year and can't lose. Do I really need to exercise?

Okay, those are all necessary questions and as those that have been there and done that we have a responsibility to provide answers and support. We got it when we were newbies, now we owe it to the future bandies.

But, R&R is a free for all. We can discuss all the evils of the world, we can laugh (in FUN!) at one another... the kind of laughing where even the one being teased is laughing because it IS in fun, we poke one another with dull pointy sticks instead of sharp pointy sticks that hurt, it's a hang out place that is multi-functional.

The newbie OHer's over here (and I mean new to the site) don't have much of a history here. There is little trust between either side as I see it. I think it's going to take some time before trust develops on both sides. There is bad history on OH. Well, this is LBT. You guys (and I mean newbies from OH) are going to have to spend a little time over here, develop a history... a LBT history just like the rest of us did. Some are not going to like you and some are. You are going to like some of us and not like others. That's life, that's how it is in real time too.

Seems to me that you are coming over here and essentially saying, "Okay, I did SOME of that stuff but I am not responsible for what everyone else did." And some here are saying, "You were part of a horrible situation that we don't like." Even if in a passive aggressive style.

So all in all I think you need to go through the same stages as the rest of us, develop a history, back off on the defensive behaviors, get to know us OVER HERE as this board does have a vastly different mentality, and if you like us... stick around. If you don't, stick with OH or wherever you choose.

That's my take on it, I don't speak for anyone else.

Michelle:

Thats pretty much how I feel in a nutshell. Is exactly how you dont want me to feel. I dont feel I am a Sandy groupie..I certainly wont advocate anything to anybody but to listen to their own doctor at this point. I dont feel responsible for her or her behaviors on OH. I dont feel if I ever said a positive thing on her threads that I am responsible for or party to her alleged crimes. I hadnt ever even seen what the "Sandy issues" were til last night. I think if even half of these issues are true then I can understand why some of you have the strong feelings that you do. But I am not going to go onto OH and start bashing her...Wendell did that for months and nothing good whatsoever came of it. It divided the board and lowered morale. And even by my own humble estimation Wendell at the time was quite a bit more popular at OH then any of the rest of us...so he did not accomplish anything and I wouldnt either.

I am glad I have been given the chance to at least understand what the issues are. But if to be accepted here is to say OH sucks, Wendell is a victim, and Sandy is the Devil...thats not going to happen (only can speak for myself). And I will also admit that OH has its problems...who could deny that? But imperfect as it is...I have a loyalty to it. I would like to become more familiar with LBT...that just remains to be seen. I didnt come here expecting to be instant friends with anyone..nor do I want to be...maybe that would come with time.

Terri-ific · October 15, 2007

chelle:

AMEN!!!

anonemouse · October 15, 2007

#1 I am NOT "you guys". I am just me.
#2 I referred to ONE person, who gave me the ONE reason she left the board. In no way did I make this all-encompassing. Just someone going through a rough time who needed our support.

#3 I could have sworn somebody over here told me this was a caring, supportive group of people. So far I have seen little of that - please show me that the pack mentality doesn't exist over here.

You do realize that when addressing the members of a group, you generally referred to the members in the plural, right? I wasn't speaking to just you. I was talking about my general frustration here.

And lastly, if you want support, go to the freakin' support pages. The Rants and Raves forum isn't about supporting your fellow bansters. It's about RANTING and RAVING, for Pete's sake. It's right there in the name. I don't get why it's so hard for some people to understand that. And Chelle, that statement wasn't referencing just you, in case you were wondering. We've had LOTS of people that don't realize that RnR isn't a support forum.