I'm not actually at the very beginning, but now that I have a surgery date and I've completed all the pre-op classes, it feels real. I'm 53, currently weigh 334 (on my home scale--and that's what I'm going by!) My highest weight was 359 about a year and a half ago. Also a year and a half ago I swore I would never get WLS. It seemed contrary to all my convictions about being body positive, the ability to change eating habits, rejecting societal pressures for people (women, especially but no exclusively) to physical harm their bodies in order to diminish their presence, a lifetime of trying to be good enough just as I was...all that and more.

So I went to the Bariatric Nutrition center with the intent of finding support for addressing food addiction through a mindful eating practice. No one pressured me about surgery, which was great, and I started a series of uninspiring appointments with a variety of nutritionists. I did lose 20 lbs and then I gained 15 lbs and the self-loathing and frustration amped up.

At the same time, I was diagnosed with a degenerative condition in both of my heels. I had all sorts of treatments and therapies, but the reality was that it can’t be fixed, only managed. It really interferes with my daily life and makes it difficult for me to do everything from walk the dog to travel. The doc said that the most effective way of managing it was to lose a lot of weight.

I still didn’t want surgery. I thought I would just double down on the dieting. I have no other co-morbidities: heart is fine, blood pressure is fine, no diabetes, only borderline cholesterol. I had waited my whole life for some diagnosis that would be the magic switch in my brain to get me to stop overeating.

One day I was talking to someone at work who happens to be a doctor and when he asked me how my heels were doing, I told him what the other doc had said. Very simply, he said: “you should get wls.” At any other moment, with any other person, I would have been offended, or defensive, or upset, but for some reason, I knew he was right.

I then found out the next obstacle: my insurance would not cover it and I am not willing to incur the kind of debt necessary to cover the cost on my own. In truth, I was relieved. I now had an excuse to not do it! And then, another person encouraged me to write a letter to the hospital, and used her influence to get it into the correct hands. Within weeks, I got the word that my appeal was accepted. I felt like someone had called my bluff!!!

So I started doing the pre-op classes in January. I was still very reluctant, and not at all a good sport. Everything I heard made the whole process sound miserable, but I figured I could change my mind up to the moment I was on the operating table. Over the months I talked to some friends who had the surgery and talked to close family and friends. It was their gentle support that helped me come to some sense of peace. I am very, very blessed to have that.

My plan was to finish all the pre-op stuff in the spring, have the surgery early in the summer while I’m on a break from work, and be ready to start the school year by the time I was starting to eat solid foods again. That’s pretty much how it is working out, though my surgery will be in early August because I decided to have RNY instead of sleeve. I made this decision because I do have some acid reflux and didn’t want to have that be an issue, and also I figured I’d get the most bang for my buck. I need the most effective tool I can get in order to lose and maintain the weight.

Now I am getting into the home stretch. I’m trying not to eat everything in sight, as if I’ll never eat again, and I’m trying to stay focused on the positive outcomes and not the challenges to getting there. Surgery still freaks me out. The post surgery eating and digestion issues definitely freak me out. But I’m going to keep going, in spite of everything, and keep reminding myself that I am worth the effort.

You are definitely ready! Your approach was the best avenue for you. It's not an easy decision believe me. You will have a few bumps after surgery like all of us BUT you will work through it. I'm really proud of you, your new life began the moment you made the decision.

only advise I will give you now is try to replace a meal with a protein shake. 2 weeks before surgery I was instructed to go on Optifast by my Bariactric Dr at Mayo. It was hard because I never drank protein drinks before. I still use protein drinks as a mid-day snack & actually like them. They are very filling. Another bit of advise is read these posts, they are very very helpful & informative! If I can help you in anyway please do not hesitate to email me.

congratulations on your new life!!

YAY!! You are taking back and control of your life!! The decision to get out of your comfort zone is the beginning of something so WONDERFUL!! It isn't a quick fix r a "taking the easy way out." You will have to do the worj for sure. WLS is a TOOL we have to work with our tool to get where we want to be!! But let me tell you each and every step that you take, when you fall down, and get bacxk up YOU will be AMAZED when you get to your goal weight. I had my RNY July 2, 2013. I have kept 124's off for 3 and 1/2 years. I went below my goal weight and got to 117#'s. I thought it was all good my family were worried sick that I was losing to much and to fast. But now at 125#s, I feel great. I had lots of health problems and took 12 different meds plus I took 100units of Levermire 2 times a day now I am off all diabetic meds and only take 4 meds plus my vitamins!! That in its self is awesome!! You will be sucessful you are already setting your mind in the right place!! Good Luck and please keep us posted about your Journey also welcome to BARIATRICPAL.