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Lowest weight but still feel gross!



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The smallest I have ever been in my adult life was when I was nursing my oldest daughter. I was working, pumping, and nursing. The baby weight melted off and I was a size 12 for the first time since junior high. After my second pregnancy, I was up to a size 18. The really strange thing for me is that even though all of the clothes from when I had my first daughter fit, and some even fit better now than they did then, I look in the mirror and I see NO DIFFERENCE! I don't get it! How are these clothes fitting and the scale is going down but my reflection hasn't changed!

HW 220+

SW 202

CW 183

VSG 4/12/2017

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Many times prior to surgery we are unaware of the extent of our obesity. We do not really look at ourselves in the mirror. We avoid being in photographs. Therefore, it isn't obvious how much weight we have really lost when the pounds begin to drop off. Before I had surgery, I took an very unflattering photograph of myself and then after surgery at the 6 month mark, I took another as a comparison. I used the same pose.

Operation.jpg

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I think virtually all of us have skewed self-perceptions. The easiest way to see your true self is actually video. See if you have any footage of yourself before and take some now. Even if you don't have the before, use photos, or even try on the old large size of clothes.

Since most of us will never have perfectly smooth, flawless bodies, there will ALWAYS be lumps and bumps to focus on in the mirror... proving in our minds that we are still less than perfect. The video footage is far enough removed, that we can be more objective.

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Feeling gross and looking gross are 2 different things.

What is your goal weight? I wouldn't expect you to see or feel a huge change with 20 pounds either.

I don't feel like some of us really appreciate what surgery does for us until we hit uncharted territory. I appreciated my loss but it wasn't until I got somewhere I had never been and never imagined, a size 8, that I was really in awe.

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I really think you and I and most everyone has this problem. I was told many times that our mind takes quigte awhile to catch up with our weight loss. As long as I just look at my face in the mirror I can really see myself different. As long as I don't look below at the rest of myself. I'm almost 4 years out and lost 132#'s in 6 months, had a 8# gain but have maintained for 3 and 1/2 years. I am still waiting for my brain to catch up. Take lots of pictures and measure yourself because a lot of times when you are in those DREADED STALLS. Pictures and measuring can keep you going. One of another group told me to always take a picture in the same place like in a door way, because it gives you a good look at your progress. That is one thing I wish I had done. I hate to have my picture taken then and now both. I didn't measure which I totally regret but I hated to see my weight on the scales and in measuring those BIG numbers drove me crazy. Sorry now tho.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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